Sometimes, the best thing we can do for a friend or loved one who’s hurting isn’t to offer advice or fix the problem—it’s simply to be there.
We’ve all been there at some point: a friend is going through something heavy—loss, uncertainty, a hard decision, or just feeling overwhelmed by life. It’s tempting to want to jump in and “solve it” or offer the perfect words. But more often than not, what they really need is someone who’s willing to sit in the mess with them, listen without judgment, and help them find some light in the fog.
There’s something deeply comforting about having a steady presence beside you when everything feels unsteady.
In the book of Job, after Job loses nearly everything, his friends come to him. For the first seven days, they don’t say a word. “They sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him because they saw how great his suffering was” (Job 2:13, NIV). Say what you will about what they did after, but in those first seven days—they got it right. They just showed up.
Being a faithful friend isn’t about having all the answers. Sometimes it’s just about creating space—letting someone talk things out, ask the hard questions, or even sit in silence. It’s about helping them see that they’re not alone and that there’s hope, even if they can’t see it yet.
Proverbs 17:17 reminds us, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.” When someone’s walking through adversity, we’re called to walk with them—not ahead of them, dragging them forward, and not behind, pushing them—but with them.
And sometimes, that kind of presence opens the door for God to bring peace, clarity, and even new direction. Galatians 6:2 encourages us to “carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” What a powerful reminder that just being there for someone is a deeply spiritual act.
So if someone you know is going through a rough time, don’t worry about the perfect words. Bring a calm presence, and maybe a cup of coffee. That might be the most Christ-like thing you do in that moment.
Questions:
How does Job’s story challenge the way we normally respond to others in pain?
Why do we often feel pressure to “do something” when a friend is hurting, instead of simply being there?
What does it mean to you personally to “carry someone’s burden” like Galatians 6:2 says?
What might God be teaching us when He calls us to simply sit with someone in their suffering instead of “fixing” it?
Men's Small Group Blog 