If you’re a married man with kids, have you ever stopped to think about what you really want out of life? Sure, career success, physical health, and financial security matter, but when you strip it all down, what’s at the core of your desires?
Most men, whether they say it outright or not, deeply long for three things:
1. Emotional Connection with Your Wife
It’s easy to assume that what you want in marriage is respect, admiration, or even submission. But underneath all of that, what you’re truly seeking is emotional connection. You want a wife who sees you, understands you, and walks with you through life—not just physically, but emotionally as well. The happiest marriages aren’t just built on teamwork; they’re built on deep, genuine connection.
2. Adult Children Who Like You
Raising kids isn’t just about making sure they turn out good—it’s about raising them into adults you enjoy being around and who want to be around you. Think about it: What greater joy is there than seeing your grown children choose to come back home, not because they have to, but because they want to? That kind of relationship is built through years of intentional love, wisdom, and grace.
3. Respect and Honor in Your Church and Community
Not everyone will hold a leadership title, but every man can live in a way that earns the respect of his church and community. True eldership isn’t about status—it’s about wisdom, faithfulness, generosity, and humility. The men who are most respected are those who have poured themselves into others, led with integrity, and served with a heart like Christ’s.
The Path to These Desires
So, how do you achieve these three things? The answer isn’t found in chasing personal success or worldly achievements—it’s found in following Jesus and living a Christ-centered life.
Think about the men you admire, those who have strong, lasting marriages, kids who love them, and a reputation of wisdom and faith in the community. What do they have in common? You’ll find that they prioritize faith, relationships, and service over self-interest.
The good news? It’s never too late to start.
Discussion Questions
- Do you agree that the “secret” to satisfying the basic desires above is found in following Jesus and living a Christ-centered life.
- Which of the three desires (marriage, children, community) resonates most with you right now? Why?
- What are some practical ways you can strengthen your emotional connection with those closest to you?
- What kind of relationship do you hope to have with your children when they’re adults? What steps can you take now to cultivate that?
- What is one small, intentional step you can take this week to build a legacy of faith, love, and respect?
Men's Small Group Blog 