Have you ever watched a group of toddlers playing with toys? Often, one of them will be perfectly happy until they see another child playing with a different toy, and suddenly they want that one too. It’s a simple example of something we all struggle with at times: envy. We might have something good in our lives, but when we look at what someone else has, it’s tempting to feel like what we have isn’t enough.
This longing for what others have—whether it’s material things, relationships, or success—can lead us down a dangerous path. Instead of focusing on the blessings God has already provided, we fix our attention on what we lack. Our thoughts become filled with comparison, dissatisfaction, and envy. Much like the child who wants both toys, we often don’t realize that in grasping for more, we can lose sight of the joy of what we already have.
In Exodus 20:17, we are told: “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.” This commandment reminds us that the habit of always wanting more can pull us away from the contentment that God desires for us.
God has even wired this into our brains through something psychologists call the Reticular Activating System (RAS), which helps filter what we notice in the world around us. If we’re constantly focused on what we don’t have, our RAS will keep showing us those gaps, making us feel like we’re always missing out.
But when we choose to focus on gratitude and the blessings God has given us, our RAS shifts to help us see more of the good in our lives. We start to notice God’s provision, and our hearts move toward peace and contentment.
I have seen it in my own life and believe with my full heart that when we show gratitude for what we do have (vs. envying others’ things), that’s when God feels like He can trust us with more blessings – not necessarily material things but whatever it is that He knows we need most.
When we stop fixating on what others have in their possession and instead focus on God’s goodness, we make room for growth. Our journey moves in the right direction—toward what God has planned for us.
- Do you agree that comparing ourselves to others often leads to dissatisfaction?
- If you are comfortable sharing, in what ways do you find yourself comparing your life to others, and how does that impact your relationship with God?
- What are some blessings in your life that you might be overlooking because you’re focused on what you don’t have?
- What is one step can you take this week to realign your focus toward God and away from envy?
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