Significance: The Search for Meaning and Purpose

As we continue with the fourth week of “The Man in the Mirror,” today’s chapter challenges us with a deep question: “Why do I exist?” This goes beyond the everyday roles we play—whether as professionals, parents, friends, or partners—and touches the core of our existence. As we navigate our daily lives, it’s easy to get caught up in the what without stopping to consider the why.

In the ‘goals vs. purpose’ discussion, he notes that goals are WHAT we do, and our purpose is WHY we do it. He distinguishes between the fleeting satisfaction derived from worldly goals and the enduring joy found in living out our divine purpose. This distinction influences our motivation and the fulfillment we derive from our actions.

God’s purpose for our lives is THE reason we exist, and once we understand His purpose for us, then we can set goals to move in that direction. So, one litmus test is to simply ask ourselves, “Why am I pursuing this goal?”. This simple but powerful question may help us determine if we are aligned with God’s plan. Of course, there may be some gray areas, but in many cases, the answer might be closer to the “worldly” end or the “Godly” end of the range.

For instance, consider pursuits like improving a golf handicap or climbing the corporate ladder. While these activities might seem worldly or secular, if they are part of a broader effort to glorify God and love others—possibly by building community or living with integrity & discipline—they can indeed align with our spiritual purpose. However, if such pursuits become ends in themselves or primary goals, they might lead us away from our true calling.

Purpose is not a destination but a journey marked by continual effort to align our talents and opportunities with God’s will. This path involves using our unique gifts in our homes, professions, community, or other daily interactions to serve and glorify God, fulfilling the Great Commission and contributing to His kingdom.

As we reflect on our purpose, here is a scripture from Colossians 3:23 to help keep us aligned correctly: “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men.” This verse reminds us that our purpose in all endeavors should be to serve and honor God and that our goals should be aligned with this purpose.

Questions:

  1. What was your biggest take-away from today’s lesson? Were there any ‘a-ha’ moments?
  2. Reflecting on your current goals, would you say they are mostly aligned with your Godly purpose?
  3. Can you think of a time when pursuing a worldly goal distracted you from your spiritual purpose? If you were able to get back on track, how did you realign yourself with God’s plan?
  4. Based on today’s lesson, if you were helping someone better align their “what” with their “why”, what are some practical steps you would suggest?

Significance: The Search for Meaning and Purpose

Our next chapter from “Man in the Mirror,” is titled “Significance: The Search for Meaning and Purpose.” It challenges us to consider what it really means to lead a significant life. For many, significance might be measured by achievements, influence, or the legacy they leave behind. However, this chapter invites us to consider a deeper concept of significance—one that aligns with God’s purpose and design for our lives.

Today’s Scripture is from Psalm 8:3-4 and says “When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?”

These words remind us that no matter how much worldly significance we achieve, it all pales in comparison to the “work of God’s fingers”. And, as a result, we can gain more real significance by pursuing God vs. pursuing things.

Instead of defining our worth by worldly standards, which are fleeting and often leave us feeling unfulfilled, this chapter reminds us to find our significance in our relationship with God and our faithfulness to His call. This shift in perspective realigns our priorities and enriches our lives immeasurably more than any worldly accomplishment could.

Here’s a real head-scratcher – if we took a test about where our focus should be, we would all choose Godly significance as the “right” answer. But as soon as we stand up and leave today the first thing many of us (including me) will be tempted to do is check our messages and get right back into the rat race. That’s not to say that we should ignore our messages, but it highlights how quickly our focus can shift from Godly to worldly pursuits

I don’t believe the author is advocating for a life of poverty over one of wealth and material riches, nor is he anti-wealth or anti-accomplishment. Rather, he seeks the best for his readers, understanding that a laser focus on worldly things is less fulfilling than embracing God’s eternal perspective. Let’s explore this and other topics in our discussion questions below.

  1. Do you agree with the statement above that the author really just wants the best for each of his readers or do you get the sense that he’s anti-wealth/anti-accomplishment (worldly accomplishment that is)? Or is the answer “both and”?
  2. Why is it so tempting to choose the worldly significance path when we know the Godly significance path is better in every way? And are those two paths necessarily distinct & separate?
  3. Two-part question – what daily habits do you currently follow to align more closely with God’s purposes for you? And what habits would you like to add?
  4. How do you want to be remembered in terms of your faith and impact on others?

Cultural vs. Biblical Christianity

Today’s topic, from the third chapter of Man in the Mirror is a comparison between Cultural Christianity and Biblical Christianity. “Cultural Christianity” involves going through the motions—attending church, participating in Bible studies, and identifying with Christian values mostly in public or traditional settings. However, this approach may lack the depth of personal faith, daily reliance on Scripture, and a living relationship with Christ that defines a Biblical Christian.

Today’s lesson is about bringing awareness to the difference because I believe that many of us might find ourselves acting in the role of a cultural Christian without even realizing it. That brings us to the verse for today which is from James 1:22-23:

“Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.”

So, what’s the big deal, right? If we live life as a cultural Christian, nobody gets hurt, and we are at least acting like a “good guy”. Is this really that bad? To me, this is like neglecting our health by skipping exercise and overindulging in desserts—eventually, our doctor might deliver news we can’t reverse.

In the same way, imagine pausing to reflect on December 31st of even one single year and genuinely contemplating the quality of our faith life over the previous 12 months. In many years, we might realize that, while we’ve been present at church, we haven’t been fully present in our walk with God. And while that single year of regret is genuinely sad, consider adding all the rest of your years of regret together and thinking about that weighty idea as you near the end of your life on earth – wow, now that’s powerful.

But the good news is that it’s a lot simpler than we try to make it. It’s not about doing more in most cases; it’s about doing less. Typically, we don’t need more Bible studies or volunteering at the soup kitchen; we need more quiet time with God and more time to reflect on scripture. Those are the real moments when God speaks to us and moves our hearts.

The path of a Biblical Christian involves a daily (yes, daily) commitment to transform our hearts and minds to reflect the image of Jesus. But it is completely worth it! Imagine waking each day with a sense of purpose and a life of peace. This is not just a distant dream; it is very much available to each of us as we deepen our faith.

As we dig into these questions, let’s really challenge ourselves. By sharing authentically, everyone will hopefully leave today with a renewed passion for living as a Biblical Christian.

Questions:

1. Do you agree with the statement above that it’s possible to live much of our life as a cultural Christian without even being aware of it?

2. Based on your personal observations, do it seem to you that most people spend more time in the realm of cultural or Biblical Christianity?

3. What are practical steps we can take to transition from a cultural to a Biblical Christian?

4. Looking forward, what changes do you hope to see in your life as you shift towards a more engaged and Biblical Christianity? How do you envision this impacting your sense of fulfillment and purpose?

Leading an Unexamined Life

Building on our conversation last week about breaking free from the rat race, this week we’ll focus on the topic of “Leading an Unexamined Life”, which is the second chapter of “The Man in the Mirror.”

Today’s verse is from Lamentations 3:40 which says, “Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord.”

Understanding the Unexamined Life

The unexamined life, as discussed in our passage, reflects a journey without introspection, where actions and decisions are made without the deliberate consideration of one’s values, purpose, or the alignment of these with God’s will. It reminds me of the saying “if you fail to plan, you are planning to fail”. This can lead us away from the path God intends for us, resulting in a life filled with missed opportunities for growth, fulfillment, service, and building strong friendships!

The Tombstone Testimony

This chapter discusses the topic of legacy and the signs/indications of a life well-lived. Our desire to be remembered as “a good and faithful servant” underscores the essence of leading an examined life. This is a life that consistently reflects on how our actions, relationships, and faith align with God’s expectations and our true calling.

The Journey of Faith

As we mature in our faith journey, our trust and commitment to Jesus should deepen, moving from a conceptual belief to a guiding force in our life. This shift is an essential part of transitioning from an unexamined to an examined life, where our daily choices and our overarching life direction are intentionally aligned with our faith.

The Call to Discipleship

This chapter also discussed the importance of discipleship in preventing the pitfalls of an unexamined life. Discipleship, characterized by mentorship, guidance, and accountability, helps us navigate our faith journey, ensuring we remain true to our Christian values and God’s plan for us.

Embracing the Examined Life

In our goal to move toward living examined life, we commit to a journey of frequent reflection, which reminds us to align our values and our daily actions. It’s a path marked by a willingness to ask tough questions, to face our imperfections, and to grow in faith and character under God’s guidance. This chapter challenges us to look beyond the superficial, to dig deeper into our faith, and to live in a way that, when our time comes, we too might hear the words, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

Questions:

  1. Based on today’s lesson, would you say you are living a life that is closer to the examined or unexamined end of the spectrum?
  2. Reflecting on the “tombstone testimony,” what words or phrases do you hope might define your life?
  3. As a follow up to question #2, does your vision of how you want to be remembered influence your daily choices and long-term goals? If so, in what ways?
  4. How can this group help those who want more discipleship and accountability in their lives? What are some simple but powerful things group members can start doing that will move us in this direction?
  5. Facing the Mirror: If you are comfortable sharing, what discrepancies do you find between the “visible you” and the “real you”? How can you bring these into closer alignment?

The Rat Race

In today’s lesson, from the first chapter of Man in the Mirror, we’ll talk about some ideas for breaking free from the Rat Race. Here’s our passage for the day from 1: Timothy 6:6-9:

But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. Those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction.

Understanding the Rat Race
The rat race is the never-ending pursuit of more, often at the expense of our spiritual and relational well-being. It’s characterized by a constant striving for a higher standard of living and success, which, ironically, never seems to bring the happiness and fulfillment it promises. This chase can lead to a life filled with stress, debt, and fractured relationships, as illustrated by the story of Larry and Carol—a couple who find themselves caught in this vicious cycle, ultimately leading to Carol leaving Larry.

Here are the “traps” of the rat race covered in this chapter:
Standard of Living Fallacy: The belief that a higher standard of living equates to a better life.

Consumerism: The idea that happiness can be purchased, often driving us into debt and dissatisfaction.
Media Influence: The barrage of messages promoting an unattainable lifestyle, leading to dissatisfaction with our own lives.
The Pursuit of a Wrinkle-Free Life: The quest for perfection that sets unrealistic standards for beauty, success, and happiness.
Debt Pressure: The stress and bondage that come from living beyond our means to maintain an illusion of success.

And here are some tips the author offered to help find True Freedom:
Reflect on What Truly Matters: Recognize that true happiness and fulfillment come from our relationships, spiritual life, and the impact we have on others.
Embrace Contentment: Learn to be content with what we have, finding joy in the simple things in life and the blessings that surround us.
Prioritize Relationships: Invest time and energy in building strong, meaningful relationships with family and friends. These are the true sources of happiness and support through life’s ups and downs.
Live Within Your Means: Avoid debt by adopting a more sustainable and mindful approach to finances, focusing on needs rather than wants.
Seek Spiritual Fulfillment: Deepen your relationship with God, allowing your faith to guide your decisions and provide a sense of purpose and direction.

Breaking free from the rat race isn’t about renouncing success or ambition; it’s about redefining them in a way that brings true joy and fulfillment. It’s about recognizing that our worth isn’t tied to our achievements or possessions but to who we are in Christ. When we are thinking clearly, we can find peace and contentment in the knowledge that we are loved, valued, and called to a purpose far greater than any worldly success could offer.

Questions:

  1. Do you believe the rat race is worse (more intense?) in more affluent areas like Buckhead?
  2. If you are comfortable sharing, what aspects of the rat race do you find yourself struggling with the most?
  3. Why is it so difficult to prioritize contentment and gratitude into our daily life when we know in our hearts that the rat race doesn’t align with Godly values?
  4. Are there some habits or activities you can think of that will help us better prioritize our spiritual and relational well-being over material success?
  5. What are some of the benefits you can think of for prioritizing contentment over never-ending material pursuits?

Easter Mountain Climbing

As we observe Good Friday this week, we have time to reflect on a theme that we also explored last week—mountains. Specifically, we draw inspiration from Isaiah 2:1-4, where the mountain symbolizes a place of encountering God, learning, and mutual growth. This Easter, I invite you to view our collective spiritual journey through the lens of ascending a sacred mountain—a journey that ties in with our exploration last week of “The Second Mountain” by David Brooks.

The Mountain of the Lord: Easter’s Call to Ascent

Easter is a season of renewal, resurrection, and reawakening. It invites us to contemplate the resurrection of Jesus Christ as the ultimate journey from the valley of death to the pinnacle of new life. This ascent to the “mountain of the Lord,” as Isaiah envisions, symbolizes our call to move closer to God, seeking His ways and walking in His paths.

Connecting the Mountains

Last week, we reflected on the metaphor of climbing two mountains. The first mountain is about personal ambitions and success, while the second mountain focuses on selflessness, commitment, and service to others. This Easter, we’re reminded that there is yet another mountain to climb—the one where we meet God in His majesty, learning His ways and committing to walk in His paths.

From the Valley to the Mountain Top

Easter is a good time to reflect on the valleys of our lives—moments of suffering, doubt, and death. Yet, it offers a profound hope that, with God’s help, we can conquer these valleys! (can I get an Amen!?) The resurrection of Jesus signifies that the darkest valley can (and did) lead to the highest mountain, where eternal life and peace reign.

The Communal Journey Upward

Isaiah’s vision of the mountain of the Lord is not just an individual ascent; it’s a group invitation. “Many peoples shall come and say, ‘Come, let us go up to the mountain of the Lord.'” This echoes the importance of community and service we discussed last week. As we climb towards Easter’s promise, we do so together, supporting and uplifting each other in faith.

Embracing Easter’s Journey

As we prepare our hearts for Easter, let’s embrace the journey from the valley to the mountaintop. Let’s renew our commitment to learn from God, to walk in His paths, and to do so together as men who support each other in every way possible and always want the best for each other.

Reflection Questions for Easter Ascent

1. How does the Easter story of resurrection inspire you to get through valleys? And, if you are comfortable sharing, what valleys are you emerging from, and what mountain are you climbing now?

2. The journey to the mountain of the Lord is a communal one. How does your faith community come together to support each other in this ascent? How can you contribute to this journey?

3. Similar to the last question, as we collectively ascend the mountain of the Lord, what do the words “leave no man behind” mean to you? What are some ways we can live out that idea?

4. Imagine reaching the mountain of the Lord, as described by Isaiah. What emotions and thoughts does this evoke in you?

5. Isaiah speaks of learning the ways of the Lord. How can you, in this Easter season, commit to learning more about God’s ways and applying them in your life?

Climbing “The Second Mountain”

In a world where personal achievement and success often take center stage, David Brooks’ book “The Second Mountain” serves as a compelling counter-narrative, inviting us to refocus from self-centeredness to other-focused living. This transformative path not only echoes the teachings of Jesus but also aligns with the Christian call to serve and love others. Brooks, who was inspired by his own search for meaning and connection, challenges us to reevaluate our priorities and embark on a more fulfilling, purpose-driven life. Brooks provides a call to action that resonates with the core of Christian values, reminding us that life’s deepest joy and fulfillment come not from what we acquire for ourselves, but from what we give to others.

The First Mountain: Ambition and Success

Many of us start our journey focused on climbing the “first mountain,” which represents our personal goals, achievements, and the pursuit of success. It’s about establishing identity, securing a career, and seeking personal happiness.

The Valley: Crisis and Reevaluation

Brooks talks about the inevitable descent into the valley—the moments of hardship, loss, or failure that interrupt our ascent. It’s in the valley that we face our vulnerabilities and question our purpose. Yet, this is also where growth begins. As Psalm 23:4 reminds us, “Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”

The Second Mountain: Commitment and Service

The journey up the second mountain is marked by a shift from self-centered living to a life dedicated to others. Brooks emphasizes commitments to family, faith, and community as the paths that lead us to true fulfillment. This echoes the message in Philippians 2:4, “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

Community and Faith: Walking Together

A key theme in “The Second Mountain” is the importance of community. Brooks suggests that life’s richest experiences and our deepest fulfillments are found in relationships and service to others.

The Joy of Giving: Finding Purpose in Service

Finally, Brooks highlights the joy and purpose found in living for others. This mirrors the Christian call to love and serve, reminding us that our greatest fulfillment often comes not from what we acquire, but from what we give.

Questions

1. Ambition and Success: Can you recall a moment when your pursuit of success on the first mountain felt unfulfilling? How did that experience shape your perspective on what truly matters in life?

2. Crisis and Reevaluation: Have you experienced a “valley” in your life? How did this period challenge and deepen your faith?

3. Commitment and Service: What commitments are you currently making or would like to make on your ascent of the second mountain? How do these commitments reflect your Christian values?

4. Community and Faith: How has your faith community supported you in your personal growth? In what ways can you contribute more actively to this community?

5. The Joy of Giving: Can you share an experience where giving your time, resources, or love brought you unexpected joy and fulfillment?

Uplifting Our Church Leaders

While we usually discuss topics that affect us directly, today we are focusing on how we can support our clergy and how, in doing so, each of us and the entire community is strengthened.

Supporting our clergy and church leaders is foundational to the health and growth of any church. They guide us, inspire us, and dedicate themselves to serving not just the church, but each of us individually. Recognizing their commitment, it’s important that we, as a congregation, actively support and uplift them in their spiritual and practical endeavors. This is especially important during times of significant changes and uncertainty, as many churches are experiencing now.

Supporting our leaders goes beyond verbal affirmations; it involves practical steps to ensure their well-being and effectiveness in ministry. This includes providing them with resources for their spiritual nourishment, respecting their need for rest and family time, and offering constructive feedback with grace. Encouraging our leaders allows them to serve from a place of renewal and strength, fostering a healthier and more vibrant church community.

Leveraging Church Community Skills and Talents: Emphasizing the congregation’s role in the church’s mission can alleviate some of the burden on our leaders. By identifying and utilizing the diverse skills and talents within our community, we can support our leaders more effectively. This approach not only distributes responsibilities more evenly but also fosters a stronger sense of ownership and involvement among members.

Practical Support and Appreciation: Simple acts of appreciation and practical support can go a long way. Whether it’s volunteering to lighten their administrative loads, offering gifts of gratitude, or simply sending a note of thanks, these gestures affirm the value of their work and ministry.

Prayerful Support: Possibly the most powerful support we can offer is our prayers. Praying for our leaders’ strength, wisdom, and guidance is crucial. It’s a spiritual lifeline that sustains them through challenges and bolsters their ministry.

Fostering Open Dialogue: Creating an environment where leaders feel heard and supported in their challenges and ideas fosters a stronger, more resilient church community. Open dialogue allows for shared burdens and collaborative solutions, reinforcing the bond between clergy and congregation.

In supporting our clergy and church leaders, we embody the biblical principle of mutual care and encouragement, which is described in this verse from 1 Thessalonians 5:12-13 — “We ask you, brothers, to respect those who labor among you and are over you in the Lord and admonish you, and to esteem them very highly in love because of their work. Be at peace among yourselves.” Let’s commit to being pillars of support for those who lead us in faith, ensuring they have the strength, love, and resources needed to carry out their God-given missions.

Questions for Reflection and Discussion:

1. What do you believe are the most effective ways we can support our church leaders both spiritually and practically?

2. What are some specific ways we can show appreciation for our clergy and leaders’ hard work and dedication?

3. How does prayer for our leaders impact not just them but also the wider church community?

4. What are some of the positive impacts of supporting our church leaders?

5. Reflect on times when you’ve felt supported or unsupported in your own endeavors. How can this perspective help form our approach to supporting our church leaders in both their personal and ministerial challenges?

Fit for Heaven: How Community Lifts Spirits and Health

The Christian call to community is not just a call to fellowship and to being socially active with each other. It’s a divine invitation to participate in a transformation process (both helping others transform and being open to transforming ourselves).

While community is not just about sharing each other’s burdens, that is an important part of it. This is reflected in Galatians 6:2, “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ.” This verse underscores the principle that our growth and fulfillment as believers are somewhat dependent on how engaged we are in a healthy community.

The Role of Intentional Community in Spiritual Transformation

True community extends beyond social gatherings; it involves a real commitment to support each other in tough times. This support fosters a sense of belonging and provides a supportive environment for personal and spiritual growth.

The intentional pursuit of community helps us model Christ’s love in our interactions and, in doing so, we undertake God’s work directly. Ephesians 2:10 says “As Christ’s hands and feet, we participate in these good works, walking the path laid out for us.”

And there are many benefits to remaining in a genuine community. Many studies reveal that remaining connected in community has very positive impacts on longevity, quality of life, and physical health. While there is always room for improvement, one of our group’s goals is to encourage men to be authentic so we can receive these and other benefits.

And when we talk about Community, we should also consider that word in the context of engaging the community in service and outreach activities. Building on the ideas above, serving together not only positively impacts the wider community but also strengthens the bonds among participants, fostering a shared sense of purpose.

By emphasizing the benefits of bearing each other’s burdens and of intentional community involvement, it invites individuals to participate actively in a powerful transformational process. Having said all of that, it’s still a challenge for most men to welcome vulnerability and close relationships. That’s a topic, among others, that we’ll cover in these questions.

  1. Before we can achieve the benefits mentioned above, we need to be vulnerable and also welcome the same from others? Why is this tough for most men? Is it possibly because vulnerability can be seen as weakness?
  2. Do you feel that sometimes when a conversation among men starts getting too personal, someone will do something to keep it from going any deeper – humor, change of subject, or start an argument, for example?
  3. Related to question #2, if we don’t allow conversations to go deeper, what are some benefits we might be losing?
  4. What role does service play in the life of our community, and how can it enhance our sense of purpose and connectedness to each other?
  5. How does participating in an intentional community transform your personal faith journey?

Embracing the Eternal over the Momentary

Today’s topic was inspired by Scott Edwards who bravely fought brain cancer for many years but ultimately passed away last week. Many of you in this group likely attended his funeral yesterday. His life was a great example of how we should dedicate ourselves to eternal purposes and not to short-lived or materialistic pursuits. So, we dedicate this lesson to Scott and the legacy of love and faith he left behind as he entered the gates of heaven.

We talked recently about how easy it is to get caught up in the worries and distractions of our daily existence. Yet, 2 Corinthians 4:17-18 offers a meaningful perspective, urging us to look beyond the immediate: “For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” Today we’ll focus on three key elements from this verse – minimizing worry, being present, and focusing on the eternal.

Finding Peace in the Midst of Turmoil

1. Embracing a Worry-Free Life: Our earthly troubles, though they may seem overwhelming, are described as “light and momentary” in the grand scheme of God’s plan. This perspective invites us to surrender our worries to God, trusting in His eternal wisdom and plan.

2. Being Present in Every Moment: In a world that’s constantly rushing towards the next big thing, this verse reminds us of the value of being present. Every day is an opportunity to experience God’s love and to showcase that love to others.

3. Focusing on the Eternal: Our culture often emphasizes material success and visible achievements. However, what truly matters is often unseen – the growth of our spirit, the love we share, and the faith that guides us.

Applying Eternal Perspectives in Daily Life

Not Worrying: How can we practically shift our focus from worry to trust in God’s plan? It involves a daily commitment to prayer, reflection, and consciously choosing to trust in God’s promises.

Being Present: It’s not just about physically being there, but also about being emotionally and spiritually engaged with those around us. It can be as simple as truly listening to someone or as profound as being fully aware of God’s presence in every moment possible.

Focusing on the Eternal: This means prioritizing our spiritual growth and the well-being of others over worldly gains. It’s about making choices that align with our faith and eternal destiny, not just with immediate desires or societal expectations.

Questions:

1. How effectively do you let go of worries and focus on God’s eternal plan in your daily life? If you are skilled in this area, please share some of your tips with the group.

2. “On paper” being present is so simple. So why is it so hard for us to master?

3. Can you share an experience where being fully present in the moment led to a deeper spiritual insight or personal connection?

4. In what ways can we encourage each other to prioritize eternal values over temporary successes? How can we best support each other in this worth pursuit?

5. How does the distinction between what is seen and unseen affect your decision-making and life priorities?