Men's Small Group Blog

When we see others rejoicing, God wants us to rejoice with them.  We see this in Romans 12:15 which says, “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep”. The second half of this verse is much easier to do than the first. It’s easy to weep with those who weep. When someone is having a tough time, it’s easy to be sympathetic.

But sometimes it is difficult to rejoice with those who are rejoicing.  In fact, we may even be threatened by it and resent it.  Maybe we think that the world is a giant pie that’s divided up into slices. We think, If somebody’s slice is bigger than mine, that must mean my slice is going to be smaller. That kind of thinking is wrong because God never runs out of blessings. He never runs out of grace. There’s more than enough to go around for everybody, and just because God blesses somebody else doesn’t mean you get less.

We see this in the parable of the vineyard workers: “The workers who had been hired first thought they would be given more than the others. But when they were given the same, they began complaining to the owner of the vineyard. . . . And he said, ‘Are you envious because I am generous?’”  (Matthew 20:10-11). Those who worked all day were paid exactly what they contracted to be paid. They weren’t cheated; yet, they resented that other people who only worked the last part of the day were given the same amount.

Envy and coveting keep us from sharing others’ joy and it can make us miserable people.  Maybe that is why God addressed coveting in the 10 Commandments: You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor. (Exodus 20:17).  God wants us to be happy & at peace and knows that to do so we must be people who rejoice when others rejoice.

Questions:

• Do you agree that it is sometimes hard to celebrate with others when they experience success or blessings?
• Is it harder to rejoice with certain people than others?  For example, it may be easy to celebrate with our children when they do well but then we may resent others success.
• If you were one of the vineyard workers who started early in the day, would you have resented those who were paid the same amount even though they didn’t work as long?
• What are some of the ways you can rejoice with others and let them know you share in their joy?
• Why do you think God places such a strong emphasis on rejoicing when others rejoice?

Whether it’s returning to school or getting fully back in to the swing of things at the office, very few times of the year are marked as much by change as the end of summer.  In the same way, God changes things from time to time as part of His plan and one of these dynamic times is referenced in Isaiah 43:18-19:

Forget the former things;  do not dwell on the past.  See, I am doing a new thing!  Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?  I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the desert.

When we read a passage like this, our natural assumption is often that we need to forget something in the past because it was bad or traumatic and that God is encouraging us to be hopeful about better times to come in the future.  Reading it carefully though reveals that this is not necessarily the case.  He just tells us to forget the past because He is doing something new.

Two thoughts on how we might be able to apply this in our lives and share it with our families & friends:

1. No matter how much effort we’ve put in to a specific project or goal, God may “do a new thing” in our life and lead us in a new direction.
2. In order for us to genuinely follow God’s plan for our life, we sometimes have to “forget” about the past — either forgot how bad OR GOOD a certain event  or period of our life was.

Both of these factors may create discomfort for us since we like to get into a groove and follow a well-worn path.  But just as we have to walk before we run, God helps us develop certain skills and talents using various experiences throughout our life.  These experiences are, by definition, in the past and in order to focus on the future that God has in store, we need to, in a sense, forget about those things……or at least not dwell on them.

As summer comes to an end and we move into the Fall, ask yourself these questions to help figure out what paths God is making for you in the wilderness that He hopes you will follow:

What is an example of a new path that you’ve had to take in your life (new job, new city, new relationships) that took you out of your comfort zone?

Why would God want us to take new paths from time to time?

Think of an example where you were initially very reluctant to go in a certain direction but then God later revealed to you that He had a plan for you.

How can we better understand God’s will for our lives so we don’t miss signals that indicate a change we need to make?

I don’t know about you but I love “either or” thinking.  Black or white is so much easier and more comfortable than gray.  I easily fall into the trap of:

• This will work, that won’t work.
• They like me, they don’t like me.
• They are part of my tribe, they are not part of my tribe.
• This is of God, this is not of God.

And of course, my absolute favorite, the grand champion of this “either or” paradigm is “I am right and you are wrong.”  Or, since I am married, “I am right and she is wrong.”  Undoubtedly, no questions asked, this is the number one thought on the Billboard Top 40 Hits of my brain.

The problem with this type of thinking is that it is exclusionary and reductive instead of inclusive and additive.  For me, I find it often promotes my judgment of others instead of understanding and grace.

We all pay lip service to the belief that the only person we can change is ourselves, but how often do we pray for God to change the other person?  What if instead of changing the other person, we could let God grow us, grow our heart, our patience, and our understanding?  What if he could grow us so much that black plus white became not gray but something else entirely?

God clearly delivered the coup de grace to binary thinking about 2000 years ago.  Beginning with Abraham, he introduced his chosen people to monotheism and then – WHAM – he hit us with something totally not understandable from an earthly point of view.  God is one thing but not one thing.  God is a three in one – Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

Isaiah 55:8-9- For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Let’s call my understanding and comfort with the incomprehensible mystery of the Trinity a moving target.  Right now, it is a challenge, a reminder, that I need to ask God to grow me beyond black and white, beyond “either or,” to a place of “both and,” where grace is found where there used to be judgment.

Here are a few questions to continue the discussion:

1. What thoughts are on your Billboard Top 40 Hits of Either Or thinking?
2. How do you ask God to help you avoid these traps?
3. Do you have an experience to share of when God grew you out of a problem?

This week we are going to start a discussion on Serving / Servanthood (Thanks to article from Hampton Keathly-found on Bible.org).

Servanthood– There are various definitions of Servanthood but as it applies to Christians:  A devoted and helpful follower or supporter: “a tireless servant of God”

Mark 10:45– Jesus said, ‘For even the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve, and to give his life as ransom for many.

Philippians 1:4– Each of you should have the same attitude toward one another that Christ Jesus had.

The link is attached but is lengthy (likely another Friday discussion).  The following is a summary with questions.

https://bible.org/seriespage/mark-8-heart-servant

But what exactly is servanthood? Servanthood is the state, condition, or quality of one who lives as a servant. Further, a servant is first of all one who is under submission to another. For Christians, this means submission to God first, and then submission to one another. Then, as one in submission, a servant is one who seeks to meet the real needs of others or of the person he is serving. To put it another way, servanthood is the condition or state of being a servant to others, of ministry to others rather than the service of self. It means willingly giving of oneself to minister for and to others and to do whatever it takes to accomplish what is best for another.

However, when serving others and their needs, if the underlying motive and goal is some form of self-love, like the praise of others for the service rendered, then one’s service is in reality hypocritical. This type of service is really aimed at serving selfish ends—usually in the futile pursuit of personal significance through something like praise, power, or status.

Christ’s plan and that which produces maximum blessing to the world and the church is servanthood. A servant is one who, even when in positions of leadership seeks to lead and influence others through lives given in ministry for the blessing of others and their needs. The Lord Jesus came as a servant with a commitment to serve. Just think, if He had come to be served, our redemption could and would never have taken place. Likewise, our failure to live as servants throws up a huge barrier to effective ministry as representatives of the Lord Jesus.

Questions:

1. Can one be saved by Faith alone?
2. If you serve others only for the purpose to make yourself look good or feel significant, does it matter? Can Servanthood be Selfish?
3. What are some examples that Hinder us from Servanthood?
4. Why is servanthood so important to the Christian Life and to Christian ministry?

This week we will discuss Advent. Definition- Advent:  the arrival of a notable person, thing or event.

Advent: Advent is a season of preparation and waiting for the celebration of Jesus birth at Christmas. Christians take part in advent as a way to celebrate the promise of the Savior, both at birth and looking forward to his return.

Thanks to the NUMC Blog in 2016 and from Buckhead Church material below.

Buckhead Station is right beneath our church building, a convenience for our staff team for those meetings and appointments that are up and down the main line. And there’s no greater feeling than rushing through the turnstile and down the stairs to the platform just as the train is pulling in. Timing is that thing that stands between enjoying public transit and being completely frustrated by it. Back in the day before MARTA released their smartphone app, complete with arrival times, delay reports, and station updates, frustration was norm. It was all a guessing game. You never really knew when, or if, the train would show up. It was hard to feel prepared and on top of things.

This was the teaching of John the Baptist in Luke 3, that we must be prepared for God’s arrival. Luke quotes Isaiah, saying, Prepare the way of the Lord, make his paths straight. In other words, do not be caught off guard. Live expectantly and with anticipation of God’s coming, of His presence. This is Advent. The season of preparation for the Lord’s arrival and presence in our lives.

• What are the things that bring on stress for you during this holiday season? obligations? gift buying? The family commitments? Finances? And at what point, for you, does the central message of Christmas get muddied up in the busyness of everything?  Do these things/ to-do list keep you from being present?

• What are the top roadblocks (not excuses) that keep you from being more present?
• What are the biggest benefits of being present consistently?
• Who are the people in your life that remind you of God’s presence in your life?
• What can you do today to be just a little more present in one person’s life?

Recommended Reading: Deuteronomy 8:16–18; Matthew 6:31–34; John 6:48–51

When you were a kid, did you ever wish you could see into the future? Most kids wonder what will happen to them as the years pass by and they grow older. Where will they go to school? Will they go to college? What about a career? Will they get married and have a family?

This kind of thinking doesn’t end when a person reaches adulthood. Singles wonder whether there’s a spouse for them out there somewhere. Parents dream about what their kids will grow up to be. College freshmen wonder about their eventual career path; older workers prepare for—or worry about—their retirement years.

Human nature compels us to look ahead with wonder. Dreams of the future make the drudgery of work today worthwhile. Anticipation of future events gets us up in the morning and forces us to plan for tomorrow. It’s what separates a man from his best friend, his dog.

The Israelites in today’s story were no different from us today. Faced with an uncertain future and an immediate need for food and water, they started grumbling. While they’d labored hard during their years of slavery, at least in Egypt they’d always had plenty of food and water. Now here they were, out in the desert, and they and their kids were hungry and thirsty. Put yourself in their place, and try to look at the situation from their perspective. Chances are you’d have had a few pointed questions for Moses as well.

God heard them, and responded by promising to provide for them. Those of us who attended Sunday school know the story well—each morning, flakes of bread appeared on the ground; in the evening, quail covered the camp. But they couldn’t hoard what they gathered, and they couldn’t store it. Moses instructed the Israelites to gather only what they needed for the day—no more, no less. Tough to do when you’re thinking about what the kids will eat for breakfast!

Why was limiting what they gathered important to God? Because the Israelites needed to understand what we all need to learn—that we can sustain a relationship with God only in the present.

Our past is nothing more than the story of how we got to where we are, and dwelling on it causes us to become stagnant and unsatisfied. We can’t find God by worrying or dreaming about the future, either, because that just makes us want to control whatever lies ahead.

Yes, we have concerns and hopes and dreams for the future. But this story tells us that we can live out our relationship with God only in the here and now. God longs for us to trust him every hour and every minute of today.

Questions:

• Do you have methods of slowing down and living in the present?
• What prevents you from slowing down?
• What worries about the future do you need to place in God’s hands?
• What hinders you from developing your relationship with God today?
• Consider the fact that the present, while fleeting, is the testing ground for your faithfulness to God and his plan for your life. Then pray for the wisdom to make the right decisions and place your plans and concerns for the future in God’s good hands.

I’m convinced of something more and more as I grow in my walk with The Lord over the years. Something that I consistently need to be reminded of over and over again, even though I keep thinking “I’ll get it” sooner or later. Something that remains over a long period of time and proves itself to be true time and time again.

Nothing I’m about to say will be shocking or brand-new information, but rather a reminder of what you and I need to hear over and over again.

“For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” – Matthew 11:30

We simply need Jesus.

We need more of Jesus.

And over time, we need to increase our love for Jesus.

Now before you or I go “yea yea I know that….duh,” do we actually know this in a way where we live this way?

Or are we caught up in the rat race of our culture and lives? Busy with productivity, responsibilities, families, workplaces, relationships, money, etc.

As a follower of Jesus, what drives you? “All the things” you are supposed to do as a Christian or an increasing love of Jesus?

Because at the end of the day, if we truly grow in our love for Christ, everything else will follow and will take shape the way God has designed it. We could be “just as busy” as we are today, but with our love for Christ increasing, we’ll go through live accomplishing exactly what God has called us to do. To love Him with all of our hearts, minds, strength, soul, and to love others and make disciples.

Are we making disciples? Are you making disciples? When is the last time you shared the Gospel with someone? When is the last time you led someone to Christ and then invited them into your life to disciple them?

I know those are tough questions for me and for you, but they are necessary for us to keep asking ourselves. They reveal where our hearts truly are and what we are making most important in your life.

If that’s currently not Jesus, don’t beat yourself up. Repent and move forward. Ask God to increase your love for Him, read the Bible, pray, and start loving people well for the glory of God and for the good of others.

Let today be a reminder for you and for me that we simply need to increase in our love for Jesus more and more each day. And by doing so, our lives will reflect more of Jesus in everything and everyone we are involved with and God will be glorified.

Questions:

• The author says “We simply need more Jesus”.  What does that mean to you?  In other words, what does it mean to get more Jesus?
• We are all guilty as the author says of being caught up in the rat race to some degree but is that the primary thing that keep you from pursuing Jesus more than you do now?
• Making disciples for Christ sounds like such an intimidating and difficult goal but we don’t have to go into ministry to help others move closer to Jesus.  What simple things can we do in our day to day lives to be more effective in this area?
• The author says our life should reflect more of Jesus in everything we do.  What does that mean to you and what steps can we take to move in the right direction?

Thanksgiving is next Thursday, so today’s verse includes thanks as the theme.

Philippians 4:6-7 says:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

We previously have discussed the idea that we need to “pray like we mean it” or God will ignore what we ask for.  Along the same lines, today’s passage says we need to present our requests to God with thanksgiving.

Pause here for just a minute and picture what true thankfulness looks like.  Picture the joy in the eyes of the thanks-giver.  Genuine gratefulness is a very attractive thing.  Also picture the receiver of the thanks – softened heart, warm smile, etc.  It makes it a lot easier for us to keep giving if our gifts are received with Thanksgiving.

So when Paul encourages the church at Philippi to pray with Thanksgiving, he is really instructing them on how God wants them to pray and how they are most likely to have their prayers answered.

So as you talk to God this week before Thanksgiving, Pray like you mean it AND Be Thankful like you mean it!

• Have you ever given a gift that wasn’t received with thankfulness? If so, how likely were you to be generous to that person or group in the future?
• Does God NEED our thanks? If not, why would Paul tell us it is important to God?
• What is something you need to express thanks for that you have not yet?
• Do you think God thinks it is too petty for us to express thanks for simple things like food, shelter, and clean water?

Luke 6:27-29, “Love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you. If someone slaps you on one cheek, offer the other cheek also. If someone demands your coat, offer your shirt also”.

Matthew 5- (Sermon on the Mount) Love for Enemies: ⁴³ “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor^[i] and hate your enemy.’ ⁴⁴ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, ⁴⁵ that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. ⁴⁶ If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? ⁴⁷ And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? ⁴⁸ Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

The topic for this week was to start a series on “Lent” which started yesterday but in light of the most recent “mass shooting” we would like to have one more discussion of “Love your Enemies”.  Last week we were only able to get to the first 2 of the following questions, we have added a few additional questions.

Questions:

• What is your faith costing you?
• How are you willing to suffer for Jesus Christ? (we are not in a war-torn area or an area that Christians are physically persecuted, so suffering might mean something different in 2018 USA).  How does your answer affect the way you handle insults or disapproval?
• Why is responding in love and not retaliation the most powerful form of witness for Christ?
• Do you find it hard in today’s political climate/Social climate to love others or Groups of people that you don’t agree with?
• In light of the shooting at the Florida school, it is very easy for us to pray for the families of the victims but what about praying for the shooter?  Is that hard for you to do?
• If you were to say a prayer for the Florida school shooter what would you pray for?
• We touched on this over the last couple of weeks but why do you think Jesus so heavily emphasized praying for those it is tough to pray for?