Men's Small Group Blog

Members of our group have been through quite a bit over the past few months and the last two weeks we’ve had opportunities to celebrate and be grateful for the community of men we’re blessed with.  One of the greatest blessings we enjoy is that our lesson each week helps us focus our attention on God’s truth and, at least for an hour, away from the distractions that separate us from God.

But outside of our hour together, even the best of us struggles at times with misplaced attention and focus.  We often place too much attention on the things of this world and not enough on the things God wants for us.  People have been the same for thousands of years and Jesus knew this when he said:

“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” (Luke 12:34).

In the verses just prior to this one, starting in Luke 12:22, Jesus explains in detail why we should not worry or be anxious.  And then immediately before verse 34, He says that we should sell all of our possessions and give to the poor.

To be good Christians, do we really need to sell everything we own and give to the poor?  Since there are examples of Godly people in the Bible with wealth and possessions, the point may be that He wants our focus and, if our focus is not on Him, then we should get rid of whatever it is that is distracting us.

So, where is your treasure? Here is a test that may provide some answers — Are you overly worried and anxious?  If so, what are the primary sources of your anxiety?  For most of us, there is a good chance that the answer to that question also describes where we focus most of our time and energy (and build our treasure).  I think this is the primary message Jesus was trying to convey.  He wants our focus and if we are focused on other things, our minds will not be on Him.  He wants our whole heart which means He wants us to treasure our time with Him in prayer, reading the Bible, and following His commands.

Questions:

1. Do you agree that it is difficult to maintain our focus on God and His wishes for our life?  Why or why not?
2. What is something in your life that you need to “sell” because it is distracting your from God?
3. What are one or two treasures you would like to focus on growing in your life?
4. What are some of the benefits of focusing our hearts on Jesus and growing our heavenly treasures?

If you are anything like me right now, you are more stressed than usual over the recent election as well as everything else plaguing us in 2020.  It is a very odd time filled with uncertainty for most people.  No matter how your presidential or congressional candidates fared, if you are not focused on God’s long-term plan for our world and for your life, there is a good chance you are anxious and fearful right now.

If that sounds like you – anxious and fearful – then today’s lesson is for you.  We’re going to discuss a man who genuinely had reason to be fearful and anxious and then we’ll talk about why that was part of God’s plan to ultimately conquer sin and death.  The goal of today’s lesson is to help each of us take a step back and focus on God’s long-term plan for our lives and how He sometimes allows extreme challenges in order to prepare us to make a major positive impacts in the future.

Most of you have heard the story of Joseph who was the youngest son of Jacob.  For perspective, starting with Abraham, the lineage of Jesus proceeds through Isaac, Jacob, and Judah who was one of Joseph’s brothers. Joseph was an incredibly annoying teenager whose brothers hated him so much that they actually sold him to traveling merchants who were passing by and then told Jacob that he was eaten by a wild animal.   

Today’s lesson is a summary of Genesis 37-46 so go check out those chapters if you want to know more.  For now, two things are worth highlighting:

1. Joseph went from being the favored son of Jacob and living a very comfortable lifestyle, to being sold into slavery, and
2. If Joseph had not been sold into slavery, it is very possible that the Israelites would have perished from starvation and the lineage of Jesus would have been wiped out.

Again, this is a super-high-level summary but, over the course of many years in Egypt, Joseph gained the trust of Pharaoh and ended up interpreting his dreams including the “seven years of feast and seven years of famine” dream.  God allowed Joseph to correctly interpret this dream which allowed the Egyptians to prepare for famine by storing up grain. Joseph, who wasn’t an Egyptian, ended up being the administrative head of the country – what we would think of today as a Prime Minister.

Sometime into the famine, Jacob sent his sons to buy grain from Egypt which allowed them to avoid starvation.  In the end, it all turned out well and the Israelites survived, but Joseph had to suffer for many years in order for God’s ultimate plan to be realized.

Does that mean God wants to suffer?  Of course not.  He wants us to prosper but He knows that we have to be challenged and stretched in order to grow.  There is a lot more to unpack regarding the idea that God allows us to face difficult times in order to ultimately prosper us but, for now, my hope is that no matter what fears or anxieties you face today, this lesson will give you some perspective and some peace.  You might just be in the middle of your own Joseph story and God may be preparing you for something great.

Here are some questions for discussion:

1. Is your level of fear and anxiety higher than normal right now?  If so, is this primarily caused by the election?
2. In thinking about the primary source of your fears and anxieties, how much of the ultimate outcome can you personally control?
3. How do you feel about the idea that God allows us to face extreme challenges in order to prepare us for growth and positive outcomes?
4. Is your answer to #3 in any way similar to your parenting style – in other words, do you allow your kids to be challenged, with the hope that they will grow and improve?
5. Are there any sports analogies you can think of that might help explain today’s lesson in simple terms?

I came across an incredibly powerful verse recently which reminded me of how much God loves me (and you) and how hard he works to have a personal relationship with us.  The verse is Psalms 116:2 which says:

Because He bends down to listen, I will pray as long as I have breath! 

If you would like to read more, here is the rest of Psalm 116.

The visual of God bending down to listen struck me as very gentle and caring.  Think about when your kids started talking and you couldn’t wait to hear what they had to say.  You wanted them to keep talking because every word they said was meaningful to you.

In order to encourage them to talk more, what did you do?  You certainly didn’t ignore them or turn away.  No, you focused on them and bent down to their level to let them know you were listening.  You wanted to hear everything they had to say.

In the same way, God loves it when we talk to Him and He definitely doesn’t ignore us or look away.  No, He bends down to hear everything we have to say.

Later in Psalm 116, it says “when I was brought low, He saved me” and then it says “return to your rest my soul because the Lord has been good to you.”  Take a minute to think about what a soul at rest really feels like.  When was the last time your soul was truly at rest?  Can you remember?

I hope your answer to that question is better than mine because 2020 is not doing much to help my soul rest.  COVID, social unrest, and the most ridiculous Presidential campaign imaginable are forming a trifecta of chaos.  Not to mention all of the other things we have to manage like our job and family!

Like so many of our lessons, the answer is not that complicated but it’s difficult.  I like to say it’s simple like running a marathon…..there’s no mystery to it but it takes a lot of diligence and hard work.  With our phones dinging and buzzing with email, social media, fantasy football alerts, and the latest news, we can’t go very long without being distracted.

But in the midst of all of the chaos, imagine God bending down even lower, not only because he wants to listen but also right now because He knows we are hurting and need our loving Father to be near.  Just turn it over to Him and it’s that easy, right?  Of course it’s not that easy or we wouldn’t have a whole lesson on it.  But if we can remember to stop fretting a few minutes here and there in order to pay attention to our Heavenly Father who is bending down, maybe our souls can find a little rest.

Questions:

1. Sometimes we think of God as an authoritarian figure but how does it make you feel to think about Him bending down to hear what we have to say?  Humbling?  Reassuring? 
2. Do you share the sentiment that 2020 is a particularly difficult time for our souls to be at rest?  If so, what are some of the things that are causing the most stress in your life right now?
3. On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being highest, how much is your soul at rest?
4. Do you agree with the marathon analogy?  Is it just a matter of continually focusing on turning our anxieties over to God?  If not, why is it so difficult?
5. If God is already bending down, what are some things we can do to help our souls find rest?

Today’s verse is from Matthew 5:9 and says:

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called children of God.

Peacemaking is a messy business which doesn’t sound logical on the surface because it includes the word “peace”.  But being a peacemaker means that you intentionally place yourself in unpeaceful situations.  Here are a few synonyms for unpeaceful: chaotic, turbulent, unruly, and violent.  Putting ourselves in that type of environment takes courage and strength.

Speaking of courage, today’s lesson was inspired by Nelson Mandela who said “Peace is not just the absence of conflict; peace is the creation of an environment where all can flourish……”

Don’t worry – I’m not going to challenge you to earn a Nobel Peace Prize like Nelson Mandella.  My challenge to you today is simply to work on bringing peace to your own family and your own home.  Ask how you can work on creating an environment where everyone in your house can flourish – not just survive but flourish!

What that looks like will be different for each one of us and I’m sure there are obstacles for many who are hearing or reading this, but you can only control what YOU can control.  What can YOU personally do today? 

Do you have kids who are anxious about the state of unrest in our world?  If so, take some time to talk about it with them and let them know it is going to be ok because God has a plan to prosper us (Jeremiah 29:11).

Is your wife supremely confident about the strength of your marriage?  If not, do something about that.  And don’t pretend like you don’t know what YOU can at least try to do.  The answer might not be fun or easy but you know the answer.  She may not respond in the way you would like but, again, what can YOU personally do to at least try to be a peacemaker?

And don’t forget about yourself.  Are you at peace?  If not, focus on your own peace first, just like the flight attendant instructs us to put our own oxygen masks on first before helping others with their masks.  Only when you are at peace will you be an effective peacemaker.

Every journey starts with a step so, today, just start small and do what you can to create some peace in your own home today. 

Questions:

1. Why do you think Jesus highlighted peace as a top priority?  Could it be the same reason we don’t want our own kids to bicker and fight?
2. On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being most at-peace, how peaceful are you personally right now?
3. What are some things you can do to bring more peace to your own life?
4. What is one situation you personally can work on right now to try to be a peacemaker, no matter how small it might seem to you?
5. Should our response to the state of unrest in our world today be negative or positive?  In other words, should we be demoralized or see it as an opportunity to hit a home-run in the World Series?

My mentoring group recently read Ordering Your Private World by Gordon MacDonald.  The book contained many lessons about creating an orderly life and following a disciplined approach in order to enhance the likelihood of long-term peace and prosperity.  These lessons are especially important in 2020 because today there are many distractions that can take us away from the pursuit of a Godly, orderly life. 

Life is complicated enough without having to worry about getting sick from coronavirus, educating our kids effectively, living with societal unrest, and managing our business in the midst of a pandemic.  With all of those extra factors hitting at one time, it is easy to get distracted and find it difficult to get back on track.

Related to this is one of MacDonald’s key points which is that we are trained to manage our public world well but not our private world.  We are taught to emphasize our appearance and image because the world judges us by our education, job, car, house, and other easily-measured things.

The problem is that, as we get older, life typically gets more complicated and demanding.  In order to successfully complete the race and claim the victory, we must intentionally and diligently focus on our mental growth and endurance.  If we ignore our private world, cracks will form and we will see failures in certain area of our lives.  This brings us to our verse for the day which is from Proverbs 4:23:

Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flows the springs of life.

The way MacDonald puts it, what you do on the inside will someday “cry aloud from the housetop”.  Here are some things he says we should do to get our private worlds in order:

• Understand what drives you and compare it to where Jesus is calling you; if different, move in the direction of your calling
• Understand your purpose and focus on that unwaveringly
• Practice “release” from being conformed to the world’s expectations
• Reduce time “leaks” – keep a time journal and analyze it; budget your time far in advance and use thoughtful criteria for managing it.
• Listen to God through your prayer life; listen to mentors and critics
• Use all you learn in service to others as Christ did
• Read – when we are not reading, struggle often follows; do a lot of “offensive” (proactive) reading to put building blocks in place
• Solitude & silence
• Reflection & meditation
• Prayer and worship
• Journaling

In order to incorporate most or all of these activities into our life, we need to intentionally and consistently order our private world to make them a priority.  To help us work in that direction, here are a few questions for discussion.

1. Have you recently found it more difficult than usual to focus on developing your private world?  If so, what are some of the challenges you are personally facing?
2. Do you have any examples of cracks that formed in your life or in the lives of others that were caused by ignoring your/their private world?
3. What are some time leaks you can reduce or eliminate in order to focus more on your private world?
4. If you had more time to focus on your private world, what are some areas where you would most like to focus?
5. What are some practical strategies you can employ to prioritize ordering your private world?

Last week we talked about the idea of letting God break our hearts with what breaks His.  The first step we talked about is to read the Bible more often so that we can start working toward better understanding the Heart of God.

As we discussed last week, no matter what your politics are, it is important right now to try to soften our hearts and embrace others.  There are always people behind the scenes on both sides of the political aisle that are doing more to hurt the situation than help but the vast, vast majority of people are just trying to live a good life and find joy wherever they can.  Since every one of those people are children of God, He wants us to understand them better so that we can genuinely love them.

It is undeniable that there are many so-called leaders who are making things worse but don’t let that distract you.  Try to envision Nancy Pelosi and Donald Trump embracing each other in true friendship.  While that is difficult (and somewhat humorous) to imagine, this is what God wants from the two of them in the same way that we want our own children to embrace and love each other.  The Pelosi/Trump embrace will likely never occur but, if it does, it will only be possible if they soften their hearts and understand that God wants them to look at each other as individuals who need and deserve love.  They both need to start by trying to better understand God’s heart.

The biggest single thing we can do to better understand the heart of God is to study the Bible – not just read it but dig in and study it.  I try to read at least one chapter each day but I have to admit that I have not done a very good job recently of really digging in to study & analyze what I’m reading.  If I’m being real honest, my motivation is probably to say that I read the Bible instead of thinking of it as a way to better understand the heart of God.

That recent realization made me want to make some changes for the better.  It made me want to approach my Bible time with a pure heart and with the goal of getting a lot out of it.  That led to the idea of a Bible challenge.  This week, let’s each pair up with someone else from the group to go a little deeper in the Bible.  You and your partner can pick any verse or passage you want and the goal is to get together in-person or virtually this week for at least 15 minutes to do two things: 1) try to go deep about what you took away from that verse/passage and 2) talk about some strategies for more consistently reading the Bible with the intent of better understanding the heart of God.

Questions:

1. Do you agree that the biggest single thing we can do to better understand God is to read the Bible?  Why or why not?
2. If each of us really committed to studying (not just reading) the Bible daily, what affect would it have on us – not just in softening our hearts for others but overall?
3. What are some of the barriers that keep us from reading and studying the Bible more consistently?
4. Other than this week’s challenge, what are some things we can do to make studying the Bible a more consistent practice in the future?

Over the past few days, I’ve thought a lot about a powerful song by Hillsong United titled “Hosanna” which includes the lyrics “Break my heart with what breaks yours.”  I’ve heard the song many times but have never really taken them personally to heart as much as I have this week.

This is a tough post to write because as I’ve followed the news coverage and read various blog posts & comments about the senseless death of George Floyd in Minneapolis, I’ve realized that I have been lazy and afraid to really let God break my heart with what breaks His.

Before we go any further, if your mind is already wandering in the direction of blaming the current unrest in America on a particular politician, political party, activist group, or any other group or person, please stop.  Just stop.   It isn’t going to help.  If it would help, I would be all for it but it won’t so, again, please focus only on solutions and healing.

Back to our lesson — I don’t know how to stop the unrest or eliminate injustice of all kinds but I do know that the answer is not to think of this as a debate.  We don’t solve anything by trying to win debate points or “prove” a technical point.  Even if we could prove a point, all we would do is cause the other side to dig in deeper and work harder to prove us wrong.  The harder you push, the harder they will push back.

The actual solution is one that isn’t easy or comfortable for us.  The first step is to put ourselves in God’s shoes and ask what breaks His heart.  We can’t know the heart of God unless we know His word.  We have to be in the Bible, searching for messages He wants us to see.

After we start gaining a better understanding of God’s heart, the next step is to try to allow our heart to be broken by what breaks His.  This is the most difficult part because nobody, including me, likes to have their heart broken.  It’s no fun.  It’s draining and painful.  But the goal is not to make ourselves miserable. The goal is to become more useful to God, which brings us to the final point.

After we understand what breaks God’s heart and allow our hearts to be broken, the ultimate goal is to do something that will make others’ lives better, ease their burden, and/or bring them joy.  This, in turn, will make God smile.

God is the only one who can provide the answers we need to solve the unrest in our country.  By first trying to understand what breaks His heart, we will be better equipped to be used by Him in miraculous ways.

As we answer today’s questions, remember not to blame political parties, individuals, or groups.  Focus only on how we can be used by God to create healing and peace.

Questions:

1. On a scale on 1-10, how well would you say you let God break your heart with what breaks His?  Are you satisfied with your answer?
2. Why is it uncomfortable for us to dive deep to understand what breaks God’s heart?
3. What are some action steps you might take based on today’s lesson to help you allow God to shape your heart?
4. Can you think of some specific things you can do this week to ease someone’s burden or otherwise facilitate healing and peace?

If you are worried right now, you are in good company – the average level of uncertainty and anxiety among my friends and loved ones is as high as I can ever remember.  Maybe for a brief period after 9/11 it was worse but we quickly reached a new normal in that case.  And even the great recession that started in 2007/2008 was probably not as worrisome, on average, because there was a discernable cause that we could point to and a somewhat predictable path forward.

The problem with the Covid-19 crisis is that there are still so many unknowns.

When will we get a vaccine?  What will the future of work look like?  Or how about air travel, sporting events, classrooms, summer camps for kids, and church gatherings?  And for the 30 million Americans who have filed for unemployment over the past few weeks, there are also very real immediate questions about their ability to provide for their families.

This is the part of the lesson where the author or teacher says something along the lines of “don’t be anxious because God is in control”.  But it seems like we need more than that right now.  Is God really in control?  Of course He is – now and always – but it is fair to ask what good could be coming out of all of the seemingly bad things going on around us.  To provide more insight into that question, it will be helpful for us to focus on how God shapes and molds us during difficult times.

During a recent difficult period in my life, I learned to rely on God more than ever and to give up at least some of my addition to being in control.  As part of this effort, I filled up my playlist with songs about giving up control and giving things over to God.  Listening to these songs day after day made a meaningful positive impact on my mindset.  One of my favorite go-tos was (and still is) Hawk Nelson’s song “Diamonds”.  Here is how this song starts:

Here and now I’m in the fire, in above my head
Being held under the pressure, don’t know what will be left
But it’s here in the ashes
I’m finding treasure

He’s making diamonds
Making diamonds
He’s making diamonds out of dust
He is refining
And in his timing
He’s making diamonds out of us

This song reminds us that everyone, even Christians, can get in over our heads sometimes and the pressure can feel unbearable.  But it is pressure that creates things of beauty like diamonds.

Here’s a challenge for this week — try to catch yourself when worry arises and redirect your thoughts to questions like “where is God moving in my life during this time?” or “where is God leading me?” or “how is God using this pressure to mold me in ways that I will be more useful to Him?”.  It is still going to be a difficult time, but maybe these questions will at least help us focus more on God than ourselves.

Questions:

• Have you ever known the average level of anxiety in the world to be any higher than it is right now?
• Do you believe that God uses difficult times to mold us and make more useful to Him?
• [Give the next question a little extra thought because it is central to understanding the heart of God and His plans for us] If good things are going to come out of this difficult time, why would we not be more hopeful and positive? Why are we so anxious?
• If you feel comfortable sharing, on a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your personal need to be in control (10 means you need to control everything and 1 means you are very comfortable trusting God and giving Him control)?
• For a person who struggles to give up control,  how might they benefit if they moved more in the direction of letting God take the wheel?

One of the biggest questions for many Christians is whether or not we are doing the right thing in the eyes of God.  Or whether or not we are doing enough of the right things.

Two of the very core activities we are called to practice consistently are Prayer and reading & studying the Bible.  These are two simple concepts on the surface but we often make it complicated by asking questions like “how should I pray?”…..“how should I study the Bible?”…..”where do I start?”….and, often, because we don’t have the exact answers to those questions we just don’t do anything.  So, what’s the answer to this dilemma?

I like to think of it like training for a marathon because running 26.2 miles is an easy concept but you can’t just go out and do that unless you’ve been working on it.  Little by little, every day you make progress.  Nobody who starts training for a marathon is mad if they can’t run 26.2 miles on the first day, so why don’t we look at prayer and Bible study the same way – just get started and do a little every day.  Make it a habit.

Making a habit of anything is  a matter of blocking time for a particular activity, ideally the same time & place every day, and then protecting that block of time and avoiding distractions.  In term of establishing the habit of Bible study & prayer, don’t worry if you can’t finish the “marathon” on the first day.  Just get started.  If you get frustrated, read an article on effective prayer or Bible study and put some of these ideas into practice the next day.  If it works, great!  Keep doing it.  If not, try something else but just keep going, keep searching for the answers.

So why is the title of this post “Habit and Intent” and not just about habits?  It’s because the devil is really sneaky.  Like an experienced wrestler who uses your own momentum against you, if you really get these habits going, the devil will plant thoughts to get you off track.  Instead of focusing on God and His plan for your life, you might start focusing instead on your fantastic streak of 50 days in a row, which then makes it more about the streak than about God.  Or you might get prideful about it and boast to others about your what a great Christian you are which, again, takes the focus away from God.  So, as you continue to develop strong habits, be aware of your intent and bring it back to God if you get off track.

Blessings to you as you start (or continue) your marathon training!

Questions:

For any particular activity, why is it important to establish a habit vs. trying to fit it in when you have the time?

Do you agree that the habits of prayer and Bible study are difficult to establish because we want to have it all figured out before we start?

Do you believe it is important to consistently pray and study the Bible in order to be a “good Christian”?  Why or why not?

Do you agree that maintaining purity of intent helps ensure that your prayers and Bible study are as effective as possible?

What is one thing you can do tomorrow to start your “marathon training”?