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Last week we talked about the fact that God wants amazing things for each of us. He wants to shower us with substantial gifts and blessings. He doesn’t want us to experience despair, loneliness, guilt, and fear. So, why do so many Christians still suffer with these negative emotions and struggle to enjoy peace, love, joy, and hope?

I think the answer may be extremely simple but, before we get to that, here is our verse for the day, which is from Thessalonians 5:18,

Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

I often try to see things through God’s eyes and understand Him better by imagining that He sees us in the same way parents see their children. Here’s an example – assume a child turns 16 and the parents give them a beautiful new car, but instead of black, which the child wanted, it’s dark gray.

What if that child cried and complained about the color of the car instead of expressing gratitude? How would you respond if you were the parent? Maybe you would want to teach the child a lesson. Maybe you would take the car away. Maybe you would be angry and reluctant to give the child anything else because they were so ungrateful.

Now, given the same circumstances, what if the child says “Thank you SO much! I can’t believe you got me a car. It’s beautiful and I love it. You are the best parents and you are always thinking about me and what’s best for me. You give me so much more than I could ever deserve and I can’t even express how grateful I am!”

In the second example, how do you think the parent might respond? They might want to the give the child so much more than just a new car. They might want to give the child far more than they could even imagine.

I think that maybe this is how God sees things, too. When we complain, He withholds blessings and when we are grateful, He wants to give us even more blessings. There is a lot more to discuss about gratitude but let’s leave it there for this week and discuss a few questions.

1. Today’s verse says that gratitude is God’s will for us. Why do you think God places such a high priority on gratitude?
2. Do you agree that God sees us in the same way that earthly parents see their children? Why or why not?
3. We know that God wants only good things for us. So, if we find ourselves focused on negative emotions, is that sort of like complaining about the color of the car in the example above? Why or why not?
4. What are some simple things we may take for granted that we can tell God we are grateful for?
5. When we express gratitude, who do you believe benefits most – God, us, or both?

Today’s verse is from Ephesians 4:32 which says:

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

I heard a minister lead into a sermon on forgiveness with this humorous perspective. He said for people that we have serious disagreements with, what would happen if we just went around forgiving them without first making sure they knew how wrong they were? Since each of us is always right, it is our job to help others understand how wrong they are (for their own good, of course). Once they really understand the depths of their depravity and genuinely thank us for sharing this important wisdom with them, then we can at least begin thinking about forgiving them.

This was shared with the congregation as a joke but the reason it’s funny is because there’s a lot of truth in it. But I think deep down the issue is not about being right. I think the actual issue is that we don’t want to be hurt again. And, while it might come across as us trying to be right, our actual goal is to help them understand how they hurt us so it won’t happen again.

But I want to go a little deeper in this lesson and focus on a much more valuable solution that will allow us to skip the drama altogether. Consider these two scenarios:

• A two-year-old with a lollipop accidentally drops it and it cracks into many pieces. Their lollipop is gone and they are devastated. To that toddler, this is a huge deal, and they cry inconsolably.
• [It’s funny to think of a prince eating a lollipop but stick with me for a minute.] The same situation happens to a prince eating a lollipop, but he’s not sad in the least when he loses his treat. In fact, he barely thinks about it.

So why is this not a dramatic moment for the prince? It’s because he dropped it on the floor of the immaculate castle where he lives and where every one of his needs is provided for in abundance. To cry over a lollipop would require him to ignore all the opulent blessings that surround him. It would just be strange.

That brings us to a bonus verse of the day from John 10:10 which says:

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it in abundance.”

The devil is constantly poking on us and trying to get us off track. He wants to steal our joy. He wants to take our mind off of God. He wants us to think that a “cracked lollipop” is a great reason to get upset and cry uncontrollably.

But you are a child of the King! You are royalty! When we allow squabbles to steal our joy and distract us from God’s love, the devil wins. But when we look around at our abundant life and have a heart of gratitude for our status as royalty, we can get back on God’s path. We can get back to living abundantly and sharing that spirit of abundance with others.

Questions:

1. Do you agree that it’s easier to forgive someone AFTER they admit they were wrong? If so, would you say this counts as genuine forgiveness?
2. Even though you are a child of this King, is it sometimes difficult for you to accept your royal status? If so, why?
3. Why do you think God values forgiveness so highly?
4. Do you think that the “cracked lollipop” approach might help us forgive others more easily?
5. What are some of the blessings we might give up when we allow pettiness to distract us from abundance?

When our kids were little, I would put them on the kitchen counter and let them jump to me. At first, their fear limited their jumps to a couple of feet, but over time, they got to the point where they would launch themselves forward as far as they could. I was so happy to watch as they grew in confidence. And they were so happy to feel the momentary weightlessness as they flew through the air. Both my joy and theirs was dependent on them taking a risk. Neither of us would have felt that joy if they didn’t jump.

I believe that this is exactly what God wants from us. I believe He wants us to step out of our comfort zone, knowing that He will always be there to catch us. That brings us to the verse for the day, which is from Joshua 1:8-9,

Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.

The risks we’re talking about are not like skydiving or running with the bulls. We’re talking about risks that God puts on our hearts. Just like I loved watching my kids take a risk launching themselves off the counter, He loves watching us take a risk so he can catch us.

So how do we know if God is leading us to take a risk? Here are a few examples that may resonate with you:

• You feel called to start something new or make a major change in your life

• You feel called to open your heart to someone new or to take an existing relationship to the next level

• You feel called to donate more of your time or money but feel uneasy about making that commitment

• You come across what seems like a great opportunity but are hesitant to act for some reason

One of the most important takeaways I picked up when preparing this lesson is that, in every scenario where God is calling us to take a risk, we must take the first step. So, what keeps us from taking that step? I can think of two primary reasons – 1) fear and 2) complacency/comfort. But, if God is truly calling you to take a risk, the great news is that He has an answer for both. If it’s fear that’s stopping you, this can be completely offset by faith (the knowledge that God will “catch” you). And if complacency is the issue, you can rest assured that the more you are willing to leave your comfort zone, the greater the blessings He will share with you.

Questions:

1. Do you agree that we are required to take a risk before God will jump into action and act on our behalf? If so, why does He make us act first?
2. If you are comfortable sharing, are there any risks you feel God is calling you to take?
3. Do you agree that fear and complacency are the two main reasons we hesitate to take risks? Why or why not?
4. If we never took a risk, what are some blessings we might miss out on?
5. If you were advising someone on taking risks, would you recommend just jumping right in or are there some other steps that might create a better outcome?

[Before reading the lesson, listen to the song “Gratitude” by Brandon Lake and read along with the lyrics. As you listen, think about why you might explain how this is a Christmas song.]

One of the lines from this song says, “So I throw up my hands and praise you again and again”. This is the inspiration for today’s verse which is from Ezra 9:5:

I fell to my knees and lifted my hands to the Lord my God.

Even though few of us reading this right now are probably feeling the strong need to drop to our knees and cry out to God, below is an example of a situation that may help us understand why we might do that.

Imagine that right in the middle of enjoying the Christmas season, you get sick and have to go to the doctor. And after running all the tests, the doctor gives you the worst possible news. You have a terminal disease that will take your life. There is no known cure. Image the sense of dread and desperation. Who would you call first? Maybe your family and closest friends? What would you say? You would probably be very emotional and might shed a few tears. You might also cry out to God and maybe even lift up your hands and ask “why?”. You would probably have trouble sleeping and wouldn’t have an appetite. The Christmas season is supposed to be filled with hope and joy but it would be almost impossible for you to share in the Christmas spirit.

But now imagine that you get a call from your doctor who has the most incredible news – they’ve found a perfect cure and the treatment is very easy. You’re going to be just fine and there’s nothing to worry about.

How would you feel then? Who would you call and what would you say? You would probably dance around and maybe even cry out again to God in gratitude with your hands lifted up.

This story is the story of Christmas. We are born flawed people who are separated from God by our sin. We are sick but Jesus offers the gift of the miraculous cure. He offers the miracle of eternal life as a gift we can’t earn and one that can never be taken away. For all time, He is ours and we are His! Halleluia!

Let’s read these powerful words from today’s song one more time:

So I throw up my hands
And praise You again and again
‘Cause all that I have is a hallelujah
And I know it’s not much
But I’ve nothing else fit for a King
Except for a heart singing hallelujah

Questions:

1. Did any of the lyrics in the song “Gratitude” stick out to you as especially meaningful at Christmastime?
2. Do you agree that the Christmas story is very similar to the story of the sick person in today’s lesson? Why or why not?
3. If you are comfortable sharing, has there ever been a time when you felt like throwing your hands up and crying out to God?
4. What is something we can do to thank Jesus for His sacrifice that gave us the gift of eternal life? What is a Christmas gift we can give Him?

The last two weeks, we’ve been talking about friendship. We started by establishing that God wants us to have great friends and that to have a friend we need to be a friend. Then, last week, we talked about how important love is in friendship and we identified some of the important ways we can love others to build friendships with them.

This week, we’ll talk about the most important friendship of all, which is our friendship with Jesus. This may sound odd since we typically think of friends as people we physically spend time with, text, or call on the phone. Those things would be great to do with Jesus but, at least until He returns to Earth, we can’t. So, then, how should we think about being friends with Jesus? We are fortunate that Jesus answered this question for us in John 15:15 which says:

I no longer call you servants because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.

Jesus said this to his disciples as part of a long set of instructions outlined in the four chapters from John 13 – 17. This took place in the short period between His triumphal entry into Jerusalem (Palm Sunday) and His crucifixion a few days later. These words were among His last in-person instructions to the disciples, who He had been training for over three years.

Being able to hang out with Jesus in-person for three straight years must have been an incredible adventure for these young men, all of whom were likely teenagers when they started following him. While there wasn’t a written test to graduate, Jesus was essentially recognizing all of them as graduates of the “Jesus academy”.

Specifically, He said to them “everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you”. And this fact is the basis on which He said they were qualified to be His friends. Note that He didn’t say they were friends because they knew everything He shared but simply because He had shared it with them. In other words, we can’t earn His friendship. It is a gift freely offered, like the salvation He offers.

Once again, we see an example of Jesus doing everything He can to build a friendship with us. And we see that gift of a friendship with Jesus is ours to take if we want it. Let’s go through a few questions to discuss what we can do now that we know this gift is being offered to us.

Questions:

• As we think back over the past three lessons on friendship, what are some of the main criteria for calling someone a true friend?
• As Christians, we think about Jesus as our Lord and Savior, but have you ever really thought about Him as a friend? Share any thoughts you have about that.
• Just because Jesus offers His friendship, does that mean we’re friends with Him? Why or why not?
• What does it mean to you to know that you can count on Jesus as a true friend?
• What are some things we can do to enhance our friendship with Jesus and become true friends?

Last week, we talked about the idea of true friends and why God wants us to have true friendships. The Bible has many verses about friendship and many of these highlight the importance of love. And we know that Jesus said love is the most important thing (Matthew 22:37-40), so we know how important love is in developing true friends.

But what exactly is “love” or what does it mean to be “loving”? For example, what is the difference between loving ice cream and loving another person? They are clearly not the same, but we use the same word (love) in both cases, so it’s important to define the type of love that is so important to God. We are fortunate that He provided us with lots of explanations about love in the Bible and one of my favorites is 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, which says

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

What if we substitute “true friend” for “love” in the passage above? Let’s re-read it that way together now and see if it works.

Let’s tie a couple of thoughts together from last week with this new idea of love being at the heart of true friendship. Last week we discussed the idea that if you want to have a friend, you need to be a friend. And if we now combine that with the description of love above from Corinthians, we can say that if we want to have a friend, we need to be loving. More specifically, we need to practice patience, kindness, and all the other characteristics of love.

We know that God has great things in store for us and wants to shower us with many blessings, including the blessing of true friendships. And since we know that love is the most important thing, as we continue to love God and others, true friendships (or deepening of existing relationships) will follow.

Questions

1. How did you feel about substituting “true friends” for “love” in today’s verse? Did that open your eyes to anything new?
2. We know that we can only control our actions (not the actions of other), so if we want to build more true friendships, what are some things we should do? (Hint: reread today’s scripture)
3. If building true friendships is based on things like being more patient and more kind, how can we work on these things? Can you build patience like you can build muscle? If so, how?
4. Today’s lesson says, “as we continue to love God and others, God will honor these actions and bring special friendships into our life”. Do you agree with this statement? Why or why not?

It might not seem that the Bible would be a good source of advice about friendship, but it actually has a lot to say about it. One powerful passage about friendship is from Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, which says:

Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.

To prepare for this lesson, I looked up some stats on friendship and it seems like the consensus is that most people 3-5 true friends. As you probably already know, there is a difference between an acquaintance and a true friend. Here are some questions to determine if someone is a true friend. Do they:

• Accept you for who you are?
• Stick around in good times and bad?
• Celebrate your victories with you?
• Make time for you and are truly present when you are together?
• Encourage you to be your best?
• Tell you the truth, even if you don’t like it?
• Make you feel good when you are with them?

Even if you are fortunate enough to find even a few people who check all of those boxes, friendships can still sometimes be challenging and frustrating. But, in a way, that’s what friendships are for.

God wants us to have close friends AND He wants us to have the opportunity to grow and strengthen those friendships. If we never faced challenges in our friendships, how could we have the opportunity to deepen those relationships?

Using a sports analogy to emphasize this point, what if you were an athlete but never had the opportunity to compete against other athletes? What would be your motivation to practice and try to get better? In the same way, when we have true friends, it encourages us to work hard on those friendships, even if they become challenging and frustrating. We want to work harder to protect these relationships and, in working harder, we become better people. Our rough edges are smoothed and we become more patient & kind.

When you face challenges in relationships, consider where God may be moving and don’t necessarily assume that friendship is strained beyond repair. He might just be providing an opportunity to strengthen that relationship and take it to the next level.

Questions:

1. Do you agree that it is difficult to have more than five true friends?
2. Why do you think God wants us to have true friends in our lives?
3. Do you agree that when we encounter challenges in our closest relationships, it might be a good thing? Why or why not?
4. Do you have any examples where you or someone else you know worked on repairing a strained friendship and it turned out that friendship became much deeper?
5. What are one or two things we can do this week to either deepen a good friendship or start repairing a strained friendship?

Two weeks ago, in part 1 of True Faith, we established that we tend to put boundaries around our faith, meaning that we’re glad to “follow” God as long as we can enjoy certain comforts and avoid certain difficulties. Then, last week in Part 2, we discussed Paul’s teaching in Romans 10:17 that faith comes from hearing and reading scripture. As part of last week’s lesson, we touched on the importance of taking time to reflect on scripture, which brings us to today’s verse from Colossians 3:16 which says,

“Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom He gives.”

If you’ve ever lived through a prolonged drought, you may remember that most of the limited rain that fell during this period ran off the dry soil instead of sinking in. It takes prolonged periods of rain for the soil to soften up and allow the moisture to sink deeply.

In the same way, we need prolonged exposure to scripture for it to sink in and nourish the roots of our faith. This reflection time is the best way to receive genuine revelations about God’s path for us and how He is working in our life.

But consistently scheduling in even 15 minutes for reflection often seems like a challenge. We wake up running, jump in the shower, grab some coffee, drop the kids off, get our workday started, and go hard until we get home. Then we’re so stressed from the day that it’s all we can do to be present at kid’s activities and dinner with the family. We barely have time for an hour or two of Netflix 😊before we try to get to bed at a decent time.

But there is good news – God’s got this. He’ll bless the time you spend on scripture and multiply it. So, you really get a Faith BOGO (buy-one-get-one). Not only will we get the faith-enhancing benefit of reflecting on scripture, but our faith will be further enhanced by trusting God enough to cheerfully carve out this time.

If you are ready to give it a try, there is no wrong way to get started. But, to help keep your mind from wandering, you might pick a quiet place and start with a plan – any plan. Maybe it’s meditating on one verse or a short passage. Or maybe you want to read a longer passage and just observe where the Holy Spirit draws your attention. As with meditation, it might be clunky at first, but will become increasingly comfortable over time.

Here are a few questions about today’s topic:

1. After we’ve talked through it for the past couple of weeks, how important do you think it is to make time reflect on scripture instead of just reading/hearing it quickly?
2. Do you find it difficult to carve out time for God because of your busy schedule?
3. Do you agree that God can multiply the time you set apart for Him? If so, what are some of the ways He can do that?
4. The word “cheerful” is used above in relation to our mindset going into scriptural reflection. Do you think it makes a difference to God how enthusiastically we approach the time we give Him?
5. Two weeks ago, one of our questions was “why do you think faith is so important to God?”. After two more discussion about faith, do you have any additional thoughts on this question?

Last week we talked about the idea of “bounded faith” which means that we’re glad to follow God faithfully as long as we get to set the terms about certain things. Kevin observed that this would be like a bounded marriage – I’ll go to work all week and then fish & golf all weekend while you take care of the kids. Since this is not really faith at all, we discussed some ideas for going deeper in our faith walk.

Chris pointed out that last week that if he saw a burning bush, he we be more inclined to act in complete faith, but since we don’t see a lot of flaming shrubs these days, it’s hard to always know exactly what He’s calling us to do. And, since knowing God’s will for us is the first step in growing our faith, let’s start with a verse that will help guide us. Romans 10:17 says,

“Faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word about Christ.”

Paul specifically mentions hearing the word but doesn’t mention reading it. That might be because when he wrote this, people didn’t have the same access to written material, including scripture. I think the spirit of his message is probably that a growing faith comes from exposure to scripture, no matter how we get it.  Assuming that’s true, if Paul was writing this message today, he might say that faith starts with :

1)      Having a plan to regularly read and study scripture, and

2)      Regularly attending worship and Bible studies to hear the word

One additional idea to add to our faith-enhancing recipe is to make time for reflection. Just like rain running off of hard soil, if we don’t take time to reflect on scripture, it might not get down to our faith “roots”. In some cases, it might be as if we were never even exposed to the scripture. We’ll go deeper on that idea in Part 3 of this series next week.

So, a growing faith starts with dedicating time to read/hear scripture and then reflect on it, but how much time is enough? That’s a personal decision, of course, but the answer for many (most?) of us is that we need to do more than we’re doing now.

My friend Kevin humorously observed, “If you are praying for 5 minutes out of the day, come on.  Do you realize what percentage that is of your day?  I mean 1 hour of church is 0.5% of your entire week…Do you think the big man upstairs feels that?” 

Here are a few questions to help us think more about it.

1)      Do you agree with the idea that growing our faith starts with reading and hearing more of the word? Why or why not?

2)      Growing our faith is the primary focus of today’s lesson, but what are some other benefits of consistently reading and hearing scripture?

3)      What are some ways we can reflect on the scripture?

4)      If today’s lesson inspired you, in what ways would like to be more intentional about reading & hearing the word and reflecting on it?

What if I asked you to permanently leave your home along with your family but didn’t tell you where you were going? You would probably think I had made a mistake or lost my mind. When we start going anywhere, we like to plug it into Waze, determine the travel time, review the weather, schedule our accommodations in advance, and plan for food along the way. So, it would be an odd and confusing request to ask someone to get started with no details. But that’s exactly what God told Abram (later called Abraham) in Genesis 12:1:

The Lord had said to Abram, “Go from your country, your people and your father’s household to the land I will show you.”

God didn’t say “go to Canaan”, which is where they ended up, He just said, “go to the land I will show you” and, apparently, Abram proceeded in faith. God did provide guidance to Abram and his family, as we see in the next few verses, and they did arrive safely. But, at the beginning of the journey, God required that Abram trust in faith that He would guide him safely to the right place.

Although most people don’t have this level of absolute faith, in fairness to us, Abram did experience God speaking directly to Him, apparently out loud, which would make it a little easier to follow God. But even if we acknowledge that absolute faith is a very challenging standard, we can still start to incorporate more faithful thinking in our day-to-day lives.

I’ve prayed a lot and asked for a lot of blessings for myself, loved ones, business ventures, and even my favorite teams, but only a few times in life have I truly, with no hesitation, said to God, “wherever You lead, I will follow”. I tend to live by what might be called “bounded faith”. If I can live in a certain place, with a certain lifestyle, and with all the comforts I would like to enjoy, I’m glad to follow God wherever He leads me. But that’s not true faith and I’ve probably given up many blessings He had in store for me because I’ve stayed mostly on my own path.

Faith is one of those concepts that looks simple on the surface but gets way more complicated as we dig in. Here are a few questions to help us think more about our own faith journey:

Questions

1. Why do you think Faith is so important to God?
2. Do you struggle with a “bounded faith” or do you easily turn things over to God with zero hesitation?
3. Do you have any examples of where you went to God before making a big decision and felt like he guided you as you made that decision? Please share your experience if so.
4. For the flip-side of the last question, do you have any examples of decisions you wish you would have made only after going to God for guidance?
5. Why is faith something that we often struggle with? Why do we have trouble following God’s plan for our lives without hesitation?