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In today’s lesson, from the first chapter of Man in the Mirror, we’ll talk about some ideas for breaking free from the Rat Race. Here’s our passage for the day from 1: Timothy 6:6-9:

But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. Those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction.

Understanding the Rat Race
The rat race is the never-ending pursuit of more, often at the expense of our spiritual and relational well-being. It’s characterized by a constant striving for a higher standard of living and success, which, ironically, never seems to bring the happiness and fulfillment it promises. This chase can lead to a life filled with stress, debt, and fractured relationships, as illustrated by the story of Larry and Carol—a couple who find themselves caught in this vicious cycle, ultimately leading to Carol leaving Larry.

Here are the “traps” of the rat race covered in this chapter:
Standard of Living Fallacy: The belief that a higher standard of living equates to a better life.

Consumerism: The idea that happiness can be purchased, often driving us into debt and dissatisfaction.
Media Influence: The barrage of messages promoting an unattainable lifestyle, leading to dissatisfaction with our own lives.
The Pursuit of a Wrinkle-Free Life: The quest for perfection that sets unrealistic standards for beauty, success, and happiness.
Debt Pressure: The stress and bondage that come from living beyond our means to maintain an illusion of success.

And here are some tips the author offered to help find True Freedom:
Reflect on What Truly Matters: Recognize that true happiness and fulfillment come from our relationships, spiritual life, and the impact we have on others.
Embrace Contentment: Learn to be content with what we have, finding joy in the simple things in life and the blessings that surround us.
Prioritize Relationships: Invest time and energy in building strong, meaningful relationships with family and friends. These are the true sources of happiness and support through life’s ups and downs.
Live Within Your Means: Avoid debt by adopting a more sustainable and mindful approach to finances, focusing on needs rather than wants.
Seek Spiritual Fulfillment: Deepen your relationship with God, allowing your faith to guide your decisions and provide a sense of purpose and direction.

Breaking free from the rat race isn’t about renouncing success or ambition; it’s about redefining them in a way that brings true joy and fulfillment. It’s about recognizing that our worth isn’t tied to our achievements or possessions but to who we are in Christ. When we are thinking clearly, we can find peace and contentment in the knowledge that we are loved, valued, and called to a purpose far greater than any worldly success could offer.

Questions:

1. Do you believe the rat race is worse (more intense?) in more affluent areas like Buckhead?
2. If you are comfortable sharing, what aspects of the rat race do you find yourself struggling with the most?
3. Why is it so difficult to prioritize contentment and gratitude into our daily life when we know in our hearts that the rat race doesn’t align with Godly values?
4. Are there some habits or activities you can think of that will help us better prioritize our spiritual and relational well-being over material success?
5. What are some of the benefits you can think of for prioritizing contentment over never-ending material pursuits?

In a world where personal achievement and success often take center stage, David Brooks’ book “The Second Mountain” serves as a compelling counter-narrative, inviting us to refocus from self-centeredness to other-focused living. This transformative path not only echoes the teachings of Jesus but also aligns with the Christian call to serve and love others. Brooks, who was inspired by his own search for meaning and connection, challenges us to reevaluate our priorities and embark on a more fulfilling, purpose-driven life. Brooks provides a call to action that resonates with the core of Christian values, reminding us that life’s deepest joy and fulfillment come not from what we acquire for ourselves, but from what we give to others.

The First Mountain: Ambition and Success

Many of us start our journey focused on climbing the “first mountain,” which represents our personal goals, achievements, and the pursuit of success. It’s about establishing identity, securing a career, and seeking personal happiness.

The Valley: Crisis and Reevaluation

Brooks talks about the inevitable descent into the valley—the moments of hardship, loss, or failure that interrupt our ascent. It’s in the valley that we face our vulnerabilities and question our purpose. Yet, this is also where growth begins. As Psalm 23:4 reminds us, “Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”

The Second Mountain: Commitment and Service

The journey up the second mountain is marked by a shift from self-centered living to a life dedicated to others. Brooks emphasizes commitments to family, faith, and community as the paths that lead us to true fulfillment. This echoes the message in Philippians 2:4, “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

Community and Faith: Walking Together

A key theme in “The Second Mountain” is the importance of community. Brooks suggests that life’s richest experiences and our deepest fulfillments are found in relationships and service to others.

The Joy of Giving: Finding Purpose in Service

Finally, Brooks highlights the joy and purpose found in living for others. This mirrors the Christian call to love and serve, reminding us that our greatest fulfillment often comes not from what we acquire, but from what we give.

Questions

1. Ambition and Success: Can you recall a moment when your pursuit of success on the first mountain felt unfulfilling? How did that experience shape your perspective on what truly matters in life?

2. Crisis and Reevaluation: Have you experienced a “valley” in your life? How did this period challenge and deepen your faith?

3. Commitment and Service: What commitments are you currently making or would like to make on your ascent of the second mountain? How do these commitments reflect your Christian values?

4. Community and Faith: How has your faith community supported you in your personal growth? In what ways can you contribute more actively to this community?

5. The Joy of Giving: Can you share an experience where giving your time, resources, or love brought you unexpected joy and fulfillment?

Why would we discuss happiness in a Christian Men’s group? After all, the Bible emphasizes Joy, and not happiness, as a priority. This linked article describes the difference between Joy and Happiness in more depth if you are interested. This lesson aims to explore a more nuanced understanding of ‘happiness’ and how it intertwines with our faith and spiritual journey.

In Karl Pillemer’s book “30 Lessons for Living”, the author shares his research about why older Americans are generally happier than younger ones. He interviewed hundreds of people in their 70s and 80s and their number one lesson was that life is short. The older the respondent, Pillemer said, the more likely they were to say that life passes by in what seems like an instant.

Here is a list of the most common responses Pillemer found:

• Say things now to people you care about whether it’s expressing gratitude, asking forgiveness, or getting information
• Spend the maximum amount of time with your children
• Savor daily pleasures instead of waiting for big ticket items to make you happy
• Work in a job you love

The list of things they said weren’t important was equally revealing:

• None said that to be happy you should work as hard as you can to get money
• None said it was important to be as wealthy as the people around you
• None said you should choose your career based on its earning potential
• None said they regretted not getting even with someone who slighted them
• And the biggest regret people had was worrying about things that never happened

Pillemer’s most important takeaways were that happiness is a choice that requires a conscious shift in outlook; you can decide what to pursue in life. You can decide what’s a priority for you.

But to understand why we’re discussing happiness in a Christian setting, go back and look at the lists above more closely. If we believe Jesus’ words that the most important things are 1) loving God and 2) loving people (Matthew 22:37-40), you can start to see the true wisdom and, most importantly, the connection to God that’s reflected in the words of these older Americans.

The top responses in the first list are focused primarily on love, people, presence, and gratitude. The “not-important” list includes things that could arguably be categorized as modern-day idols like working excessive hours, money/wealth/income, limitless career aspirations, revenge/fairness, and worry.

So then, today’s lesson is not really about choosing happiness, it’s about choosing God. When we choose modern-day idols, we are separated from God, but when we choose love, people, and gratitude, we are drawn closer to Him. I personally don’t believe it’s a coincidence that the first list above just happens to reflect actions that draw us closer to God. I believe that no matter how many idols we worship in our life, in our heart we know who our Father is and, the older and wiser we get, the more we naturally want to say no to the idols and yes to God!

Questions

1. Do you believe that Karl Pillemer’s conclusions above on happiness seem logical/reasonable? If so, were you surprised at the responses?
2. Do you agree that the responses in the second list primarily fall into what could be called “modern day idols”? Why or why not?
3. How does the realization that life is short influence your daily decisions and priorities? Discuss how this perspective aligns with Christian values.
4. Do you agree that the first list above draws us closer to God and the second list may distract us from God?
5. How does the Christian faith help in coping with regrets and worries, especially about things that never happen? Discuss the role of faith in overcoming these negative thoughts.

Daniel 6 (Daniel and the Lion’s Den) tells a story not just of miraculous survival, but of God’s protection in the middle of tough times. Often, we conceive our relationship with God as a shield from life’s lions’ dens. However, a closer look at Daniel’s story reveals a different narrative — not of a God who saves us FROM the den, but one who saves us when we are IN the den.

God never promises us a life free from trials but He does promise that He will always be with us. The lions’ den experience, as lived by Daniel, wasn’t an absence of divine intervention but a testament to God’s sustaining power amidst the danger. This account holds profound implications for our spiritual journey, teaching us that God’s work within us often transpires in the midst of turbulent challenges.

Daniel 6:22 says “My God sent his angel, and he shut the mouths of the lions. They have not hurt me, because I was found innocent in his sight…”

Here, we find God’s reassuring message: He is present with us, as He was with Daniel, not as an observer, but a protector, encourager, and supporter in our most difficult times. When we are in the “lion’s den of life”, God’s presence can often be most profoundly felt and his guiding hand in our lives most actively on display.

Imagine losing a big deal or receiving a disheartening medical diagnosis. These can be crushing moments, but they are not ones in which God has abandoned us. These are times when our faith is revived, purified, and strengthened.

Daniel’s story isn’t an assurance of trouble-free living; it’s a reminder that in the lions’ den of life, we are not alone. God walks with us and protects us. As we walk among the lions, the promise of Isaiah 41:10 comes to life: “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

1. Reflect on a time you felt you were in the lions’ den. How did that experience change you or your faith?

2. What role does our faith play in God helping us through difficult times? Does is matter if we have strong faith vs. significant fear & doubt? Will His response be the same either way?

3. How can our approach to life’s lions’ dens become a testimony to others about the sustaining power of God?

4. In looking ahead, how can we prepare our hearts and minds to lean into God’s presence and trust Him more deeply in future trials?

We’re trying something new to see how it works. This link takes you to a video I made for my Radical Mentoring group but then thought it might also be worth trying to use this as a lesson for our group.

To supplement the video, here is a verse from James about praying for knowledge:

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. – James 1:5

The next few verses after this one say you have to truly believe that God will grant wisdom to get it. If you have any doubt, He will not grant it. In order to move closer to understanding God’s perspective, we need to continue praying for wisdom with confidence and with no doubt.

After you watch the video, here are some questions to discuss:

1. In Job 38, God does not directly address Job’s complaints, but instead showcases His own immense power and His plan. Why do you think God chose this approach?
2. Following up on the last questions, when God starts off with His own plan, what does that reveal about His character and about our place in His creation?
3. James 1:5-8 emphasizes asking God for wisdom without doubting. Why do you think doubt can hinder our ability to receive from God? How does this relate to the concept of faith?
4. Can you recall a time in your life when you, like Job, questioned what was happening around you? Did you find solace in recognizing a larger plan or purpose, or was it a struggle to do that?
5. Often, when we seek answers from God, they may not come in the form or timing we expect. Can you share an experience where God’s answer was different from what you anticipated, yet it was precisely what you needed?