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Today’s verse is from Phillipians 4:8 and says:

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things and the God of peace will be with you.

Many of you are familiar with life coach Tommy Newberry who wrote a book called the 4:8 Principle which is based on this verse.  His premise is very simple – we can only consciously hold one thought in our head at a time so we should intentionally choose to focus on the positive things in life in order to find God’s peace.

So if it is that simple, why do we find ourselves so often focused on the negative things in life like self-doubt, criticisms of others, grudges, gossip, and conflict.  Paul knew how weak we are and understood our tendency to focus on the negative which is why he spelled it out in such clear language.  God inspired Paul to write words because He truly does want us to have the Peace that only He can provide.

Psychological experiments have proven that it is impossible to suppress thoughts.  In fact, trying to suppress them actually causes those thoughts to rebound more prominently into our minds.  But we can choose to think about a particular thought which then crowds out all other thoughts as long as that remains our focus.  If we’re thinking about something that is excellent or praiseworthy, it is not possible to simultaneously hold a negative thought in our mind and, in the process, God’s peace will be with us.

It has been said that running a marathon is simple but not easy.  This means that there is nothing complicated about running 26.2 miles but it takes a lot of hard work and effort.  Maybe this is a good way of thinking about focusing on the 4:8 Principle – it is both simple and hard at the same time.  Below are some questions to help us move in the direction of focusing more on things in life that are excellent and praiseworthy.

1)      Do you agree with the marathon analogy?  That is, do you think this concept is simple even if it is hard to employ consistently?

2)      What are some negative thoughts that you or others you know struggle to get out of their minds?

3)      How does focusing on the negative hurt us or keep us from being our best?

4)      What are some things that are excellent or praiseworthy that you can choose to intentionally focus on more frequently?

5)      If you were teaching this concept to someone else, what are some strategies you would recommend to increase their chance of succeeding?

Have you finished your Christmas shopping yet?  Whether yes or no, I have one can’t-miss gift giving idea for you.  It has to do with a gift we can give God.  But why would God need a gift from us?  He is God after all and he has access to whatever he wants.  Stay tuned to find out.

Today’s verse is from Luke 1:48-49:

From now on all generations will call me blessed, for the Mighty One has done great things for me—holy is his name.

In this passage, Mary rejoiced that she, a humble woman of little means, would be chosen to give birth to Jesus.  God literally can do anything.  And He wants to do things for us.  But before He does so, He wants something from us.

Before we reveal what that is, one more thought…..think about the greatest thing burdening you right now.  Maybe it is family turmoil or career stress.  Maybe it is your health or a conflict with a friend.  Take just a little time and think of one thing that is troubling you deeply.

Now for the gift: take 5 minutes and give that burden to God.  That’s it.  Just give it to God.  But don’t just say something like “God, this thing is really bothering me.  Please help me.”.  That’s just checking a box, not really and truly giving it to God completely.

Giving it up sounds something like this: “God, I’m really struggling with [insert your issue] and I want to give it to you.  I mean it.  I’m really giving it to you.  Not just so you will relieve me of the burden but because I want you to know I trust you.  I want you to know that you are MY King and I’ve given my life to you.  I will let go of the wheel because I know you are in control.  I may not immediately agree with or understand where it goes from here if I give up control because I don’t fully know your plan for me.  But I do know that one day I’ll look back with gratitude for the paths where you have lead me.  It is not going to be easy for me but You already know that.  Wherever you lead, I will follow.  I know that your plan for my life is perfect even though I get distracted frequently and follow different paths.  Please release me completely from the burden of [insert your issue] just as I release it completely into your loving hands.”

That’s the kind of prayer you say when you are REALLY serious about giving it up to God.  And to God, that is the perfect gift you can give Him this Christmas.

Questions:

1. Do you agree that God cherishes the gift of turning our burdens over to him?  Why or why not?
2. How good are you about truly giving things up to God?  Is God your pilot, your co-pilot, or sitting somewhere in the back?
3. If you are comfortable sharing with the group, what is something you need to turn over to God?
4. When you turn something over to God does that mean you check-out completely and never think about it again?

Last week we talked about Advent and the importance of focusing our minds on the true meaning of the Christmas season.  This week, we’ll discuss the importance of being present and how the word “present” can have a double meaning this time of year.

Today’s verse is from 1 Chronicles 16:11

Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually!

While some of us have year-end deadlines, for many of us, our calendars start to open up a little this time of year – at least for a few days around Christmas and New Year’s Day.  And when we experience some free time on our calendar around Christmas, we have two options – 1) fill it up with the busy-ness of the season or 2) slow down and live in the moment.

When we say “live in the moment” what does that mean?  Do we need to start a meditation practice?  Or, like Henry David Thoreau, head out to spend some time in the woods by ourselves?  Maybe…..but for those of us with loved ones, a better answer might be to just BE with them.  Maybe we should just hang out with our loved ones and friends this time of year with absolutely nothing to accomplish other than to offer them the gift of our presence.  This is an intentional act but one with no expectations or goals.

So when you think about gift giving this time of year, consider the idea that quality-time (and quantity-time) spent with your loved ones may be the greatest gift you can offer.  Our presence may be best Christmas present of all.

Questions:

1. Is it difficult for you to live in the moment and simply be present?
2. What challenges challenge our ability to let our minds settle?
3. Do you have any good stories about taking the time to be present and how that worked out?
4. What are the potential negative consequences of living life somewhere other than the present?
5. What advice would you give someone who is struggle to “live in the moment”?

[Thanks to cbn.com for much of the content for today’s lesson.]

Today’s lesson is about Advent which been celebrated by Christians since the 7th century A.D.  Beginning four Sundays before Christmas, its purpose is twofold: first, it prepares us for the celebration of the birth of Christ and second, it reminds us that we are eagerly waiting for Jesus’ return in glory.

The word “advent” means coming to. Advent is the time when we focus on Christ coming to the world.

“Prepare the way of the Lord” serves as a main theme of this season. As we get ready for Christmas, we should prepare our lives for Jesus, who came as “the light of the world.”  Today we need to be prepared for the coming of Christ.  Be ready and watchful, for the light of the world has come and will surely come again.

So why do most days in Advent feel like just another day for most of us?  Shouldn’t we be at least as excited as we would be for the Super Bowl or SEC Championship kickoff?  Of course the answer is “yes” and that hits very close to home for me and for many of us.

Like clockwork this time of year, I’m obsessed with materialism when I should be focused on coming of Christ like I should be.  I get fired up about a 60 inch tv for $299 and on filling up everyone’s stockings so they think I’m generous.  But what about the two comings of Jesus – the one two thousand years ago and the one to come?

No guilt intended.  We SHOULD enjoy the season and all of the big sales and filling stocking for everyone…..AND also focus on the coming of Jesus too.  Like everything else, it is not complicated but it requires us to be intentional.  Here are some questions to help us move in that direction:

1) Do you find yourself being more focused on the materialism of the season than on the true meaning of Christmas?

2) Growing up, was your family’s Christmas focused on Christ or primarily on Santa & presents?

3) Does your family today have any traditions that help put the “Christ in Christmas”?

4) What about Christmas brings you joy and why?

5) Advent is about God coming to us.  What can you do during this season to make Him welcome?

My wife and I visited Armstrong State Park in Northern California a few years ago to see some redwoods.  Some were over 300 feet tall!  As tall as they are, we were surprised to hear that they actually have very shallow roots.  Here’s a picture of a fallen tree which shows how shallow they can be:

We learned that these trees achieve stability by intertwining their roots which is why you will often see redwoods clumped together like this:

This reminded me of today’s verse which is from Ecclesiastes 4:12:

Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Just as the redwoods gain their stability from other trees’ roots, God designed us to be stronger and more stable when we intertwine our lives with others.  Family and friends provide encouragement, love, and support when the “winds” of life threaten to knock us down.

And just like redwoods take a long time to grow to their full potential, we too require a long time to become mature and complete.  During our maturing process, we often encounter stressful or even traumatic events…..deaths of loved ones, business challenges, difficult relationships, and serious illness among others.  And even when there are no traumatic events many of us feel the stress of being pushed to our limits by the simple demands of everyday life.

In order for us continue maturing as Christians, as family men, in friendships, and as supporters of the community, we must first survive through these challenges and not get knocked over.

When we prioritize the deepening of relationships and make a consistent, intentional effort to both give to and receive support from others, we add strands to our cord to help us avoid being broken.  This takes a long and intentional effort over many years in some cases.  But just as a journey of a thousand miles starts with the first step, strengthening a relationship may start with something as simple as reaching out to someone to have coffee or lunch.

Here are some questions for discussion:

1. Do you agree that we can only be at our best and achieve maximum growth when we intertwine our lives with other?
2. What are some examples of challenges a person may encounter if they haven’t made the effort to intertwine their lives with others?
3. Can you give an example of a relationship that has been a source of strength to you and how that has helped you grow?
4. In what ways can we better intertwine our roots with God on a daily basis?
5. Which people in your life would you most like to become more “intertwined” with and why?
6. Life can often get so busy that we forget to prioritize relationships but what strategies can we employ to do a better job in this area?

Thanksgiving is next Thursday, so today’s verse includes thanks as the theme. 

Philippians 4:6-7 says:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

We previously have discussed the idea that we need to “pray like we mean it” or God will ignore what we ask for.  Along the same lines, today’s passage says we need to present our requests to God with thanksgiving.

Pause here for just a minute and picture what true thankfulness looks like.  Picture the joy in the eyes of the thanks-giver.  Genuine gratefulness is a very attractive thing.  Also picture the receiver of the thanks – softened heart, warm smile, etc.  It makes it a lot easier for us to keep giving if our gifts are received with Thanksgiving.

So when Paul encourages the church at Philippi to pray with Thanksgiving, he is really instructing them on how God wants them to pray and how they are most likely to have their prayers answered.

So as you talk to God this week before Thanksgiving, Pray like you mean it AND Be Thankful like you mean it!

Questions:

• Have you ever given a gift that wasn’t received with thankfulness? If so, how likely were you to be generous to that person or group in the future?
• Does God NEED our thanks? If not, why would Paul tell us it is important to God?
• What is something you need to express thanks for that you have not yet?
• Do you think God thinks it is too petty for us to express thanks for simple things like food, shelter, and clean water?

[Read John 4:1-29 before reading today’s lesson.]

Thanks to Rob Dillon for the inspiration for this week’s lesson which is focused on embracing people who are different than us.

As a society, we’ve developed a super-polarized mindset, especially in politics.  Whereas before it was ok to have an opinion and to respect the opinions of others, it seems increasingly like we’ve moved to a mentality of “I’m right and you’re wrong”.  And in some cases, “I’m right and you’re really dumb……and I believe you should suffer because you don’t share my opinion”.

As with every other weighty problem of the world, the Bible offers us a simple answer to this dilemma.  We don’t have a specific verse today but, as mentioned above, please read John 4:1-29 for background on today’s lesson.

This story describes how Jesus approached a Samaritan woman at a well in a town called Sychar and spoke with her at length.  In the Jewish culture of the time, it was not ok to engage with Samaritans in any way.  Because the Israelite inhabitants of Samaria had intermarried with the foreigners and adopted their worship of idols, Samaritans were considered “half-breeds” and were universally despised by the Jews.

To the Jews, the Samaritans were dirty, low, and detestable but Jesus genuinely engaged this woman to try to help.  Jesus was modeling good behavior for us and this story shows that we should embrace even those who are very different from us.

Sounds easy, right?  So try this experiment: if you are strongly aligned politically one way or the other, picture yourself sitting down with someone on the other side of a particular issue and trying to understand their position.  And don’t pick an easy issue; pick one that gets your blood boiling.  Can you envision yourself saying, “Hmmmm, tell me more?” right after they proclaim that ridiculous talking point that isn’t grounded in fact but everybody on their side keeps repeating it as if it’s true?

That is probably not going to happen very often but we still have a genuine responsibility as Christians to try to make a positive difference.  So where do we begin?  Here are some questions for discussion:

• Compare Jesus’ approach to the way extremists treat those they disagree with.
• It has been argued that political extremists are actually worshiping the “religion” of their political beliefs. Do you agree or disagree?
• What Bible verses or stories also provide lessons on embracing people with whom we differ, be it religious, political or in general?
• The world bombards us with political messages constantly. Once we know this, how can we plan ahead to make sure we don’t let these messages distract us from the true message of Jesus?
• Do you believe that one person can change the world around them by genuinely loving all people – even those they strongly disagree with?
• Have you picked up any new insights today that we haven’t discussed yet?

• In what areas of your life are you more like Mary and in what areas are you more like Martha?
• If Jesus walked in to our house, most of us would ignore everything else and focus completely on Him, so why is it difficult to carve out time for Him every day?
• What are some idols (anything that you put in front of Jesus)  in your everyday life?
• Do you feel that the World expects something from us vs. what God expects from us? (self-help books tell us how to be efficient,  to-do lists, etc.). How can we deal with the onslaught of advice from Humans vs Godly advice ( How can the forget clutter of projects and spend time him). 

Blaise Pascal who was a 15th century French Catholic theologian (among other pursuits) said, “All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.”

This is definitely something that many of us struggle with.  From the moment our day starts, we’re typically either listening to something, talking with someone, watching something on TV, or working on something that requires deep concentration.  So where is the time to just stop and think and to be with God?

That leads us to today’s verse which is from Psalm 46:10:

Be still and know that I am God.

For most of us, our human nature leads us to be busy, active, engaged, and accomplishing something all of the time.  But if we don’t stop from time to time, how will we know how we’re doing?

We check our car’s GPS to make sure we’re on the right road.  And after a football game, the teams watch game film to figure out what they did well and what they need to improve.  But for some reason, we really struggle with stopping to check our personal “GPS” to figure out if we are living life in accordance with God’s plan.

God designed us and knows us perfectly which is why He wants us to be still from time to time.  He knows that we need that stillness in order to hear His voice.  This can be as simple as stopping to pray AND including time in our prayers to just listen.  In that process, we will be able to consult the ultimate and perfect GPS for life which is God speaking to us through the Holy Spirit.

Questions:

• How much time in a typical week do you take to stop and be still?
• Do you believe that most people would benefit from regularly taking time to be still?
• What are the biggest obstacles in your life that stop you from being still more often?
• Do you ever dedicate part of your prayer time to listening? If so, how has the Holy Spirit spoken to you during this time?
• What strategies can you employ to find more time to stop and be still?