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My wife and I visited Armstrong State Park in Northern California a few years ago to see some redwoods.  Some were over 300 feet tall!  As tall as they are, we were surprised to hear that they actually have very shallow roots.  Here’s a picture of a fallen tree which shows how shallow they can be:

We learned that these trees achieve stability by intertwining their roots which is why you will often see redwoods clumped together like this:

This reminded me of today’s verse which is from Ecclesiastes 4:12:

Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Just as the redwoods gain their stability from other trees’ roots, God designed us to be stronger and more stable when we intertwine our lives with others.  Family and friends provide encouragement, love, and support when the “winds” of life threaten to knock us down.

And just like redwoods take a long time to grow to their full potential, we too require a long time to become mature and complete.  During our maturing process, we often encounter stressful or even traumatic events…..deaths of loved ones, business challenges, difficult relationships, and serious illness among others.  And even when there are no traumatic events many of us feel the stress of being pushed to our limits by the simple demands of everyday life.

In order for us continue maturing as Christians, as family men, in friendships, and as supporters of the community, we must first survive through these challenges and not get knocked over.

When we prioritize the deepening of relationships and make a consistent, intentional effort to both give to and receive support from others, we add strands to our cord to help us avoid being broken.  This takes a long and intentional effort over many years in some cases.  But just as a journey of a thousand miles starts with the first step, strengthening a relationship may start with something as simple as reaching out to someone to have coffee or lunch.

Here are some questions for discussion:

1. Do you agree that we can only be at our best and achieve maximum growth when we intertwine our lives with other?
2. What are some examples of challenges a person may encounter if they haven’t made the effort to intertwine their lives with others?
3. Can you give an example of a relationship that has been a source of strength to you and how that has helped you grow?
4. In what ways can we better intertwine our roots with God on a daily basis?
5. Which people in your life would you most like to become more “intertwined” with and why?
6. Life can often get so busy that we forget to prioritize relationships but what strategies can we employ to do a better job in this area?

Thanksgiving is next Thursday, so today’s verse includes thanks as the theme. 

Philippians 4:6-7 says:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

We previously have discussed the idea that we need to “pray like we mean it” or God will ignore what we ask for.  Along the same lines, today’s passage says we need to present our requests to God with thanksgiving.

Pause here for just a minute and picture what true thankfulness looks like.  Picture the joy in the eyes of the thanks-giver.  Genuine gratefulness is a very attractive thing.  Also picture the receiver of the thanks – softened heart, warm smile, etc.  It makes it a lot easier for us to keep giving if our gifts are received with Thanksgiving.

So when Paul encourages the church at Philippi to pray with Thanksgiving, he is really instructing them on how God wants them to pray and how they are most likely to have their prayers answered.

So as you talk to God this week before Thanksgiving, Pray like you mean it AND Be Thankful like you mean it!

Questions:

• Have you ever given a gift that wasn’t received with thankfulness? If so, how likely were you to be generous to that person or group in the future?
• Does God NEED our thanks? If not, why would Paul tell us it is important to God?
• What is something you need to express thanks for that you have not yet?
• Do you think God thinks it is too petty for us to express thanks for simple things like food, shelter, and clean water?

[Read John 4:1-29 before reading today’s lesson.]

Thanks to Rob Dillon for the inspiration for this week’s lesson which is focused on embracing people who are different than us.

As a society, we’ve developed a super-polarized mindset, especially in politics.  Whereas before it was ok to have an opinion and to respect the opinions of others, it seems increasingly like we’ve moved to a mentality of “I’m right and you’re wrong”.  And in some cases, “I’m right and you’re really dumb……and I believe you should suffer because you don’t share my opinion”.

As with every other weighty problem of the world, the Bible offers us a simple answer to this dilemma.  We don’t have a specific verse today but, as mentioned above, please read John 4:1-29 for background on today’s lesson.

This story describes how Jesus approached a Samaritan woman at a well in a town called Sychar and spoke with her at length.  In the Jewish culture of the time, it was not ok to engage with Samaritans in any way.  Because the Israelite inhabitants of Samaria had intermarried with the foreigners and adopted their worship of idols, Samaritans were considered “half-breeds” and were universally despised by the Jews.

To the Jews, the Samaritans were dirty, low, and detestable but Jesus genuinely engaged this woman to try to help.  Jesus was modeling good behavior for us and this story shows that we should embrace even those who are very different from us.

Sounds easy, right?  So try this experiment: if you are strongly aligned politically one way or the other, picture yourself sitting down with someone on the other side of a particular issue and trying to understand their position.  And don’t pick an easy issue; pick one that gets your blood boiling.  Can you envision yourself saying, “Hmmmm, tell me more?” right after they proclaim that ridiculous talking point that isn’t grounded in fact but everybody on their side keeps repeating it as if it’s true?

That is probably not going to happen very often but we still have a genuine responsibility as Christians to try to make a positive difference.  So where do we begin?  Here are some questions for discussion:

• Compare Jesus’ approach to the way extremists treat those they disagree with.
• It has been argued that political extremists are actually worshiping the “religion” of their political beliefs. Do you agree or disagree?
• What Bible verses or stories also provide lessons on embracing people with whom we differ, be it religious, political or in general?
• The world bombards us with political messages constantly. Once we know this, how can we plan ahead to make sure we don’t let these messages distract us from the true message of Jesus?
• Do you believe that one person can change the world around them by genuinely loving all people – even those they strongly disagree with?
• Have you picked up any new insights today that we haven’t discussed yet?

• In what areas of your life are you more like Mary and in what areas are you more like Martha?
• If Jesus walked in to our house, most of us would ignore everything else and focus completely on Him, so why is it difficult to carve out time for Him every day?
• What are some idols (anything that you put in front of Jesus)  in your everyday life?
• Do you feel that the World expects something from us vs. what God expects from us? (self-help books tell us how to be efficient,  to-do lists, etc.). How can we deal with the onslaught of advice from Humans vs Godly advice ( How can the forget clutter of projects and spend time him). 

Blaise Pascal who was a 15th century French Catholic theologian (among other pursuits) said, “All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.”

This is definitely something that many of us struggle with.  From the moment our day starts, we’re typically either listening to something, talking with someone, watching something on TV, or working on something that requires deep concentration.  So where is the time to just stop and think and to be with God?

That leads us to today’s verse which is from Psalm 46:10:

Be still and know that I am God.

For most of us, our human nature leads us to be busy, active, engaged, and accomplishing something all of the time.  But if we don’t stop from time to time, how will we know how we’re doing?

We check our car’s GPS to make sure we’re on the right road.  And after a football game, the teams watch game film to figure out what they did well and what they need to improve.  But for some reason, we really struggle with stopping to check our personal “GPS” to figure out if we are living life in accordance with God’s plan.

God designed us and knows us perfectly which is why He wants us to be still from time to time.  He knows that we need that stillness in order to hear His voice.  This can be as simple as stopping to pray AND including time in our prayers to just listen.  In that process, we will be able to consult the ultimate and perfect GPS for life which is God speaking to us through the Holy Spirit.

Questions:

• How much time in a typical week do you take to stop and be still?
• Do you believe that most people would benefit from regularly taking time to be still?
• What are the biggest obstacles in your life that stop you from being still more often?
• Do you ever dedicate part of your prayer time to listening? If so, how has the Holy Spirit spoken to you during this time?
• What strategies can you employ to find more time to stop and be still?

Thanks to Dr. Kriegel for inspiring today’s topic which relates to how we as Christians manage stress.

Today’s scripture is from James 1:2-4:

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

James is telling us to lean in to difficulties instead of running from them and to try to find the positive value in every situation no matter how stressful.  Here are two examples:

• You have a co-worker who creates lots of drama and stress in the office.

Worldly view: I really don’t like being around this person.  I am going to look down on them and gossip about them.

Christian view: I can’t control their behavior but I can control how I treat them and how I respond to others in the office who gossip about them.  This is helping me practice patience and kindness.

• Your child causes a very bad auto accident, injuring the other driver who initiates civil legal proceedings.

Worldly view: What are we going to do?  We can lose everything!  I can’t sleep because I’m frightened of the uncertainty that the future holds.

Christian view: This is a good reminder that I’m not in control.  I’m grateful for the humility that this situation has created.  Instead of living in fear, I’m going to continue to try to see where God is moving in this situation.

For any given stressful situation at home, work, or in the community, we can utilize this practice.    While we cannot always control our circumstances, our response is completely within our control and it is always possible to find ways that God is moving in our lives.

Here are a few questions related to today’s topic:

• What is causing the most stress in your life?
• From a Christian perspective, why is so important to put stress and trials in the proper perspective like James did?
• Can you think of a situation in your past that was stressful at the time but that you now realize has been very helpful to you in some way?
• Are there situations in your life that are stressful now but that may help you in the future?
• When you leave here today, what is something you can do to be like James and find joy in the trials in your life?

Today’s verse is from Romans 2:1 and is one of my favorites because it is so clear, so real, and so simple.

You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things.

Kind of hard to argue right?  Basically, the message is that I’m a sinner so how can I judge others?  In Paul’s words, I “have no excuse” for judging.  But somehow I still find myself judging others quite frequently.

Do any of these sound familiar…..he or she is too fast, too slow, too big-picture, too detailed, too short-term oriented, too long-term oriented, too cheap, too frivolous, too flashy, too plain.  And that just scratches the surface!  It doesn’t even touch on political differences which are, at least in my lifetime, at an all-time low point.

Judgement is for God and God alone.  Our calling is, at the highest level, to Love God and Love people.  Judging others is in direct conflict with both of these essential commands.

When you judge others, you are either right or wrong about your assessment.  If you are right, then the person you are judging may have issues that they are struggling with in which case they need your love, not your judgement.  If you are wrong, then you are wrong and nothing else needs to be said about that.

The point of discussing this as Christian men is that we must strive to tame our ridiculous desire to judge others.  We must strive to be a shining light to the world and to others, especially to those who God puts in our path so that we can be a source of love and encouragement to them.  We can only truly be the hands and feet of God when we act in His spirit.

Will you choose patience, love, and respect over judgment, animosity, and criticism?

Questions:

• In your experience, what are some of the most common judgements people make about each other?
• Why do you think judgment is highlighted so prominently in the Bible as something to be avoided?
• Do you find that people tend to judge their family and close friends more or less than others? Why or why not?
• What are one or two things you can decide to do right now that will help you be more loving and less judgmental?

Many of us wonder at times why God created us or what our purpose is.  It is a very natural curiosity.  If we were competing in a sporting event, it would be good to know how to win the game.  Or if we were going to build something, it would be helpful to know what the finished product is supposed to look like.  In the same way, when we are playing the “game” of life, it is normal to check in on occasion and figure out 1) if we are on course and 2) if we’re making good progress.

As Christians, we are fortunate that Jesus gave us a great starting point for answering these questions.  In Matthew 22:37-40 He tells us the two most important things we are supposed to do:

“‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

Just that simple, right?  Love God, Love people.  Yes, sort of, but there is a more to the story which can be described with another sports metaphor.

Let’s say that you are in high school and everyone at your school is required to play a sport.  If you are very tall and coordinated, you may think about playing basketball.  If you are smaller but very fast, you might make a good running back or maybe a sprinter on the track team.

Similarly, in our effort to love our neighbor, we will be more effective if we first identify our spiritual gifts.  Here is a link to a great explanation of spiritual gifts that includes a list of all of the gifts in the Bible.  In short, these are special talents that each of us has been given by God.

As examples, if your gifts are “missions” and “administration” then you may be best suited to help coordinate various types of missions.  Or if your gifts are “teaching” and “leading” then you should focus your efforts on developing and leading teaching ministries.

There are hundreds of surveys online to help you determine your spiritual gifts.  Here is a good one created by the Methodist Church.

Once you know your gifts, you’ll be better equipped to Love God and to Love People and move closer to becoming the man God created you to be.

Questions:

• Have you ever taken a spiritual gifts survey? If so, what are your gifts?
• Whether or not you know your spiritual gifts, do you feel like you’ve been consistently attracted to certain types of service or ministries?
• Why is it important to understand our spiritual gifts?
• Is it a bad thing to volunteer or serve in ways that are not directly related to your spiritual gifts?
• Based on today’s lesson, what are some things you can do to make sure you are on track and making progress in the game of life?

Dr. Burch shared a powerful message last Sunday morning about the importance of worshiping together with other Christian believers as opposed to worshiping alone.  Related to this message, our verse today is from 1 Corinthians 26.

When you come together, each of you has a hymn, or a word of instruction, a revelation, a tongue or an interpretation. Everything must be done so that the church may be built up.

In this verse, Paul (the author of Corinthians) is telling us that each person has something to offer everyone else and that together we are more powerful and effective than we are on our own.

Some people, though, believe they can just as effectively worship alone by watching an online sermon, reading the Bible, and praying.  Of course these are all important aspects of maturing in Christ but, in order to be at our best and help others be at their best, we also need to get together to worship.

As an example, Dr. Burch talked about coals in a fire and how when they are all together they have a powerful effect.  But if you take one of the coals out and separate it from the others, it is of little use and it will quickly lose its glow.  In the same way, God designed us to need Him and to need other people.

Why do we have business lunches instead of video conferencing while each participant eats at their own office?  Or why do people get together for Thanksgiving instead of eating at their own house?  The answer is very simple – God created us to be in community with others.  And there is no more important community than that of the church.  When we come together to worship, we are like the coals of the fire, burning together to light up our families, our community, and the world.

Questions:

• Do you agree that we are only at our best when we routinely participate in some form of group worship?
• What are some of the obstacles that keep people from participating in group worship more regularly?
• Can you give some other examples of activities that are more powerful and effective when we are together with others instead of by ourselves?
• For those who struggle to attend church or small groups regularly, what are some strategies they can incorporate to improve their attendance?
• Why do you think God wants us to be together when we worship?