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Is it possible to be both humble and great at the same time?  The answer is “yes” and today we’ll see how.  Today’s verse is from James 4:10 which says:

“Humble yourselves before the Lord and He will lift you up.”

James wrote these words around 20-30 years after Jesus ascended back to heaven and, by this time, he was a legend in the early church.  He was one of Jesus’ actual brothers who didn’t believe in Him at first but later became one of His biggest fans.   His audience for this letter was Jewish Christians (which he refers to as “the twelve tribes scattered among the nations”).  These Jewish Christians, including James, were heavily persecuted and, in many cases, killed for being followers of Jesus.  His letter is intended to help them learn how to work together in community in order to fulfill the teaching of Jesus and, in part, how to survive.

According to this verse, when we humble ourselves, God will lift us up.  So what exactly is humility and how do we achieve it?

Dictionary.com defines humility as “modest opinion or estimate of one’s own importance” but I think that is a terrible definition.  Lowering our opinion of ourselves is not the answer because the verse says He wants us to be lifted up.  I think a better explanation, or at least the one that makes the most sense to me, is that humility comes from understanding 1) God’s importance, 2) the importance that God places on all of His children & His creation and 3) our place in His plan.

So one of the ways, maybe the primary way, that we can achieve humility is to understand these points and to develop one simple habit and that is the practice of gratitude.  For example, see if the following statements make you feel more humble:

• I can turn a handle and get clean water any time I want to
• Even if my parents are dysfunctional, they gave me life
• I’m grateful for all of my mistakes and the lessons they’ve taught me
• Even though it is exhausting and frustrating at times, I’m grateful for the perspective gained from raising children
• I’m grateful for the lows in life because they help me appreciate the highs

Practicing gratitude counteracts pride and arrogance which helps us keep a more humble perspective.  Maybe it is just that simple then and gratitude really is the way to humility.

Questions:

• Do you agree that being humble isn’t the same things as lowering our opinion of ourselves?
• Today’s verse says that God will lift us up when we humble ourselves.  What are some of the ways God can lift us up?
• Do you agree that practicing gratitude is the way, or at least a major way, to become more humble?
• What are some things we can do to more regularly practice gratitude?

[Thanks to our guest writer for this lesson, Brad Wood.]

Today’s lesson is related to the Mentoring presentation Regi Campbell delivered at the men’s breakfast last Saturday and today’s verse is a command from Jesus about mentoring:

“Jesus, gave his charge: ‘God authorized and commanded me to commission you: Go out and train everyone you meet, far and near, in this way of life.”

Below is a funny story to explain the difference between acting the part of a Christian and actually living as a Christian:

Max Planck, after he won the Nobel Prize, went around Germany giving the same standard lecture on the new quantum mechanics.

Over time, his chauffeur memorized the lecture and one day said, “Would you mind if I gave the lecture in Munich and you just sat in front wearing my chauffeur’s hat?” Planck said, “Why not?”

After the chauffeur gave this long lecture on quantum mechanics a professor stood up and asked a complicated question.  The chauffeur said, “Well I’m surprised that in an advanced city like Munich I get such an elementary question. In fact, it is so elementary that I’m going to ask my chauffeur to reply.”

This humorous story can be tied back to how we live our lives.  It is easy for us to look and act the part of a “Christian” but in order to actually understand the meaning behind what Christians say and do we must make a genuine commitment.

As Christians we are called to live what Regi Campbell refers to as “this way of life”.  Below are the five things that Regi says following “this way of life” means to him:

• • • God is at the center of everything
    • Don’t worry
    • Be grateful for money, but never forget it all comes from Him
    • The first place I’m to “train in this way of life” is at home
    • Live your life for others

Regi believes that discovering what ‘this way of life’ means is different for everyone.  He says “Decide what ‘this way of life’ means for you. Write it down. Think about it. Pray over it. Talk to your wife about it. Commit yourself to it.”

Taking the time to really dig in and do all of these things is the difference between being a “chauffeur” Christian and committing ourselves to discovering what “this way of life” means for us.  Only then can we understand God’s plan for us and how He wants to move in our lives.

Questions:
1. As Christians, we all agree that it’s important to know WHAT to say but do you believe it is also important to think deeply about the real meaning behind the words we say?

2. Just as Regi listed five things that “this way of life” means to him, what are some things it means to you in your own life?

3. What are some things you can do to better understand and develop your personal “this way of life”?

4. What are some of the benefits that will come from committing the time to better understand “this way of life” for yourself?

Mother’s day seems like such a simple concept on the surface but for some reason it seems to trip us guys up more than it should.  Today we’re going to share some of our best and worst experiences & ideas to help us not just survive Mother’s day but excel!  Our verse for the day is from Proverbs 31:28 which says:

Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her

Getting Mother’s day right is more than just about not getting in trouble with our wife and mother.  It’s about loving them in the way they want & need to be loved so that they are more at peace.  It is about being a thoughtful leader in our house and understanding what is needed most for our family to thrive.  It is about genuinely honoring those who brought us and our children into this world and provided nurturing, loving care.  At the heart of the day, it is all about love.

Women think about Mother’s Day very differently than men think about Father’s Day.  We are very happy if we are just left alone for most of the day and maybe allowed to play a guilt-free round of golf.  For women, it’s more than that.  Having never been a woman or a mother, I can only speak with a certain level of confidence on this topic but it seems like there are a few common desires shared by mothers on their special day:

• They want to spend time with their children but not as the care-giver; they want their children to dote on them and someone else to perform the care & feeding for one day
• They want someone to cook a nice meal
• Flowers and jewelry are always winners
• Until the children are beyond a certain age, wives expect their husbands to coordinate Mother’s day activities as well as the production of some hand-made gifts
• No cooking, washing, or cleaning for a day

Simple, right?  Sort of, but you can still mess it up.  It isn’t enough to just go out to eat…..you need to go to her favorite restaurant.  It isn’t enough for her not to have to clean or do laundry if it is just piling up for her to do the next day.  It doesn’t take a huge amount of planning but it does take some.  The good news is that the return-on-investment is very high!  Here are some questions to help us get Mother’s day right this year:

• Do you agree that we think of Father’s Day differently than women think of Mother’s day? If so, in what ways?
• If we get Mother’s day right, what are the direct and indirect positive effects on our wife & family?
• What are some good Mother’s day ideas you’ve had in the past or are planning to use this year?
• This is the flip-side of the last question – what are some things we should really try to avoid on Mother’s day?

Today’s verse is from Psalm 46:10 which says, “Be still and know that I am God.”

I had breakfast recently with a private investor who owns minority shares in a handful of small companies.  He said that over the past couple of years, it has become much more difficult to find a good opportunity.  He was sacrificing his health and family relationships in order to dedicate more and more time to finding his next investment.  But as his frustration grew and his health & relationships became more & more strained, he turned to God in prayer.  The answer he got was to relax, be patient, and acknowledge that God is in control.  For the past year, he has followed this path and everything is better in his life – and, as an added bonus, he’s realized that when there is an eventual market correction, he’ll be well-positioned to step in and assist companies in need.

Many of us are in a similar situation.  It is so easy to keep striving and grasping for the next rung on the ladder when, in the words of Stephen Covey, our ladder may not even be leaning against the right wall.  Maybe we should stop climbing from time to time to check in with God and see if our ladder is well positioned.

But that is not what our culture celebrates or encourages.  We celebrate leadership and achievement and material gains.  There is nothing inherently wrong with any of these things but, if they are our sole focus, we may indeed get to the top of the ladder and be disappointed.

Here are a few questions for discussion:

• What does “being still” mean to you?
• Do you routinely take time to be still? If so, what are the positive impacts?  If not, what are some of the potentially negative impacts?
• Do you agree with the ladder analogy? In other words, is there value in stopping our climb sometimes to check in with God?
• Why is it so hard for us to be still?
• What is one thing you would like to do differently as a result of today’s lesson?

Dr. Bill’s Easter sermon inspired an interesting thought – Jesus went through quite a bit to make sure we were forgiven & washed clean of sin and he would really appreciate it if we would honor that sacrifice by forgiving ourselves.

Think about it this way….. your child breaks a lamp and they feel terrible about it.  You reassure them that they are FAR more important than a lamp and that you love them SO much.   But what if they are still crying and sad at that point…..wouldn’t that bother you?  You’ve done everything you can but they remain sad which then makes you sad.

I think that’s probably how God feels about us since there isn’t anything else he can do to make us forgive ourselves for any of the following that may apply:

• That time you weren’t a gentleman on a date
• Cutting corners in business
• Drinking too much and/or abusing substances
• Financial or business failures
• Those websites you need to delete from your browsing history
• Prioritizing vanity over love
• Poor fitness & nutrition choices which have created health challenges

Those are all things to avoid, of course, but by not forgiving ourselves we’re not helping and we’re probably making it worse.  So why do we continue to place ourselves above God and refuse self-forgiveness?  And how do we stop doing that?

The answer lies in one of the most beautiful elements of God’s plan.  To Him, it’s just a broken lamp and He wants you to quit fretting about it because He wants to get back to spending time with you.  He wants what he’s always wanted which is a relationship with you and He will never quit pursuing that outcome.  All you have to do is stop and let Him catch you.

Questions:

• Have your kids had any recent slip-ups or failures for which they couldn’t seem to forgive themselves? If so, how did that make you feel?
• If God has fully forgiven us, why is it so tough to forgive ourselves?
• What are some of the negative consequences of failing to forgive ourselves?
• Are you personally struggling with anything for which you’re having trouble forgiving yourself? If so, is there anything from today’s lesson that changes how you will approach the situation?
• Why do you think it is so important to God that we forgive ourselves?

Today’s passage is from 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not rude. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

For today’s lesson, we will focus on verse 4 and, in particular, the idea that love is not rude.

First, a little background.  Paul, the author of Corinthians, started several churches throughout the region including the one in the Greek city of Corinth.  Scholars estimate the size of the church at around 40-150 people.  They came from broad socio-economic backgrounds and included both men and women.  We also know from Paul’s writing that there was great strife and division among the church in Corinth.

Paul’s goal in working with all of the early churches was to help them grow and thrive.  A church with significant infighting was at risk of failing and potentially  harming the overall growth of churches in other cities.  So we know that Paul’s letters were, in part, a guide for growing a church.  This included what to do as well as what to avoid – for example DO be patient and kind to one another but DON’T boast or be rude.

These principles apply today just as much as they did two thousand years ago.  Few of us would consider ourselves to be rude but most struggle, to some degree, with one or more of the following:

–      Waiting for someone to stop talking so we can speak instead of genuinely listening and responding to what others have to say

–      Being routinely late to appointments

–      Interrupting when others are talking

–      Checking email or social media during meetings or at lunch with others

–      Dominating a conversation when others would like to speak

God inspired Paul to write these words because He wants the best for us and for every one of His children.  He knows that interactions that are free from rudeness will help us to better focus on His will for us and to excel at loving others.

Questions:

1. Based on today’s lesson, why do you think Paul instructed the church in Corinth to avoid rudeness?
2. We all have been rude at some point. If you are comfortable sharing, what is a type of rudeness that you would like to work on minimizing in your life?
3. It almost feels at times that Rudeness is accepted in today’s society. Do you feel that it easier to be rude in today’s world with social media, text, email?
4. How can reducing rudeness enhance the effectiveness of ministry efforts, family relationships, business dealings, friendships, etc.?
5. Do you believe that we are held to the same high standard of living by Paul’s instruction to the early church?  If so, why?

Today’s topic is on the value of planning ahead instead of making decisions in the moment.  Today’s verse is from Proverbs 21:5 which says:

The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance, but everyone who is hasty comes only to poverty.

There is a big difference between planning 100% of your life down to the last detail vs. leaving 100% of things to chance and making all decisions in the moment.  For example, if you personally design every step of your path then you won’t leave room for God to walk with you on your path and help guide your way.  But on the other hand, if you don’t think ahead at all, you may find yourself facing dangers that you otherwise could have avoided.  Today’s lesson focuses on the latter.

Think about what causes us the most trouble in life.  In a 2017 article from Psychology Today titled “Most Problems are People Problems”, it lays out the idea that our problems primarily come from the actions of others and from our responses to those actions.  While this is not a Christian publication, we can tie-in these concepts to help us become better Christian men.

For example, we know that when other people act in their best interest and we then respond by acting in our best interest, conflict frequently arises.  As tensions rise, we move farther and farther away from focusing on our primary calling of loving God and loving people.  So does that mean that we should roll over and let others win in every confrontation?  Absolutely not.  But there is a third way.

The third way involves planning ahead with the specific intent of avoiding distractions and finding ways every day to love God and love people.  For example, if we know that our wife always responds emotionally when we bring up a certain topic, don’t bring it up or at least find a way to repackage the message.  Or if our assistant hates being interrupted, plan ahead and keep a stack of things to discuss when they are ready.  Or if you know you always overeat when you go to Mexican, don’t go to Mexican.

On the positive side, if you put your exercise gear out the night before, it may make it easier to roll out of bed and workout.  Or if you don’t buy ice cream at the grocery store, you won’t eat as much ice cream at night.

So the bottom line is that it is important to think about situations in which you struggle the most and how you may be able to plan ahead so you don’t get off track.

Questions:

1. Do you agree that planning ahead can help make us better Christians?  Why or why not?
2. What about those who say it is all in God’s hands and when we plan ahead we are trying to put ourselves in his place?
3. What are some examples of pitfalls we may encounter by not planning ahead?
4. Give an example of something in your life that might go more smoothly with some forethought or planning.
5. Is there anything this lesson has inspired you to do to plan ahead?

Today we will continue with our “giving it up” series by discussing the idea of giving up negative influences and exposures.

Today’s verse is from Matthew 15:11 which says “it’s not what goes into your mouth that defiles you; you are defiled by the words that come out of your mouth.”

Jesus did a judo move on his critics here. They were criticizing him because His disciples didn’t wash their hands before eating which was against the Jewish law.  Jesus responded by saying that it is not what goes into the mouth that defiles you; what defiles you is what comes out of your mouth (things we say).  Jesus further explained that what comes out of our mouth starts in our heart.

So how does something get into our heart in the first place?  It starts with inputs and exposures, primarily received through our eyes and ears.  We have significant control over both but often choose to receive negative or unclean inputs because they entice us.

Maybe it is our favorite political site or other things we choose to look at on the internet that aren’t healthy.  Or having cable news on all the time.   Or allowing ourselves to associate  with gossipy, negative people.  Will any one of these negative inputs kill us or cause irreparable harm?  Of course not but they all add up.  And for every negative or unhealthy input we choose, we’ve passed up an opportunity to seek a positive input.

If we are running a race, every step counts; every step should be in the direction of the finish line.  Similarly, in life, every input counts and each one either takes us closer to becoming the man God created us to be or farther away.

Questions:

• Have you ever said something that you regretted and thought “that’s not like me; that’s not who I am”? If so, where did those words come from?
• What are some examples of negative or unclean inputs or exposures many of us encounter on a regular basis?
• How do the inputs discussed in question #1 affect us and those around us?
• What are some proactive strategies to help us avoid negative inputs
• What are some examples of positive inputs & exposures that will help us move closer to becoming the man God created us to be?

This is the first week in a series of “give it up” lessons.  The theme is about giving up things that are moving us away from God so we can move closer to Him.  This week we start with the idea of what can give up to become a better Christian man.

When we think about great Christians, we often associate them with things that they’ve done or accomplished.  Maybe they started ministry, preached to millions of people, or feed the homeless every week.  It is what they did or what they added that we give them credit for.  So, of course, in our efforts to become great Christians, we may be tempted to do something or accomplish something to prove our Christian worth.

But what if that line of thinking is flawed?  Is it possible that being a good Christian may be more about what we give up or don’t do than what we do or accomplish?  That is not to say that Christian accomplishments aren’t worthy goals but simply that, for most of us, it is premature to make them our focus.

If you buy new furniture for your house, you have to remove the old furniture before you move the new items in.  If you don’t, your house will be too crowded.  Or if you upgrade your entire wardrobe you should probably get rid of some things so your closet doesn’t become a disaster.

The Christian example of this message is that God has already given us new stuff and it just waiting at the door to be moved in but first we have to move the old stuff out.

 

Take patience for example.  Maybe if I wasn’t so focused on achievement or materialism or vanity, I might be a little more patient.  Another example is time that we give to friends, family, and charities.  If we eliminate some of our wasted time, we would have more time for others.  If we eliminate the bad stuff, God’s good stuff will have room to move in.

Here are some questions to further explore this idea:

• Based on today’s lesson, what are some examples of things that are good to eliminate from our lives?
• Do you agree with the idea that you can’t add the new until you eliminate the old?
• Do you have any examples from your own life that reinforce today’s message?
• What is an example of “God’s good stuff” that you would like to move in to your life once you move out some of the old stuff?
• Can you think of a verse from the bible that supports this idea?

[Read Luke 18:1-8 for context]

Today’s verse is from Luke 18:7 and says:

And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off?

This verse is part of a parable that Jesus shared with his disciples.  A parable is a simple story used to make a point about an important topic and Jesus used many of these short stories to help His audience better understand what was on His heart.

In this parable, He is trying to drive home the point that we need to pray a lot and that it is good to pray about the same things over and over.  Verse 18:1 says the point of the parable was to “show them that they should always pray and not give up”.

The subject of the parable is a widow who pleads to a Judge for justice against her adversary again and again.  The judge initially refuses but eventually gives in so that she will quit bothering him.  Jesus was making the point that we need to plead to God frequently through prayer for the things we want.

I believe God has at least two goals in asking us to pray for the same thing over and over:

First, God wants us to come to Him in prayer frequently and He understands that it is easier for us to pray the same thing.

Secondly, we know that God wants all of the glory and one of the ways He gets the glory is for us to pray about something over & over and then have that prayer answered.  On the other hand, if we get a positive outcome without praying for it, we would not likely be as quick to give Him the credit.

That’s another “simple” answer from the Bible….pick some things to pray about and repeat your prayers day after day.  But most of us aren’t that disciplined yet so let’s go through some questions to help us move in the right direction.

Questions:

• Do you have anything that you pray about day after day? Please share if you are comfortable doing so.
• Share an example of an answered prayer in your life or in the life of someone close to you.
• Do you agree with the two reasons above about why God asks us to pray frequently about one topic – that is, He wants us to hear from us frequently and He wants all of the glory.
• Why is it difficult for us to 1) pray consistently in general and 2) pray for one thing over & over?
• What are some strategies we can incorporate to improve our track record with prayer?