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Today’s lesson is from Matthew 13 and has more scripture than usual because it includes most of Jesus’ parable of the sower. Jesus frequently spoke in parables that were relatable to his audience.  In today’s lesson, he uses a farming reference because this is something everyone understood. Matthew 13:2 tells us that the crowds had grown so large that day that Jesus had get in a boat and preach from just off the beach.

Matthew 13:1-9 says: That same day Jesus went out of the house and sat by the lake. ² Such large crowds gathered around him that he got into a boat and sat in it, while all the people stood on the shore. ³ Then he told them many things in parables, saying: “A farmer went out to sow his seed. ⁴ As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. ⁵ Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. ⁶ But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. ⁷ Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. ⁸ Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown. ⁹ Whoever has ears, let them hear.”

Then Jesus provides an explanation in verses 18-23.  “Listen then to what the parable of the sower means: ¹⁹ When anyone hears the message about the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what was sown in their heart. This is the seed sown along the path. ²⁰ The seed falling on rocky ground refers to someone who hears the word and at once receives it with joy. ²¹ But since they have no root, they last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away. ²² The seed falling among the thorns refers to someone who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, making it unfruitful. ²³ But the seed falling on good soil refers to someone who hears the word and understands it. This is the one who produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.”

Some of you may feel a relation to one of the three situations that prevent seeds from growing in our hearts and bearing fruit.  For me, it is probably the third one – worries of this life and deceitfulness of wealth.  If you are struggling with one of these situations, Jesus wants you to know that He understands that you are struggling and that He is with you in your efforts to grow good soil in your heart.  He wants all of us to bear much fruit which requires two basic elements: 1) hear the word and 2) have the word fall on good soil.  Below are a few questions to help us think through it more deeply.

Questions:

• What do you think Jesus’ main goal was in preaching this message?
• This passage tells us that only seeds that fall on good soil can grow to bear fruit. How would you describe “good soil” and how do we grow more of that in our hearts?
• In your life, how much of God’s word falls on the good soil? And how much falls on the path, the rocky places, or among the thorns?
• What is one thing you might do differently after today’s lesson to try to grow better soil so that you can bear more fruit?

 

 

We are starting a men’s mentoring program at Northside called Radical Mentoring.  It is a program designed to take men through a deep spiritual journey and help them move toward becoming better disciples.  At a recent meeting for leaders of this ministry, one of the major needs for the ministry was discussed and that is that middle-aged men are facing many new challenges that are causing significant additional stress in their lives. This stress is causing negative trends in mortality statistics, primarily due to suicide but also heart-related and other health issues.  So today we are going to flip this stress on its head and look at it from the other direction.  More specifically, we’re going to discuss how giving to and serving others has a double-positive effect – you are fulfilling your calling to do so and you are also helping yourself.

We’ll start with today’s verse which is from 2 Corinthians 9:7 and says:

“Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”

This verse is referring specifically to giving money and material items to the poor.  But for today’s lesson we are going to expand that concept to include every way you can give of yourself.  In addition to financial giving, this could also include spending time with people in need, sending a note to let someone know you are thinking about them, or doing a favor for someone without expecting reciprocation.

While these acts will not take away the cause of underlying stress in our own lives, it will redirect our minds and give us a different perspective.  And God will bless our giving if our actions are consistent with the verse above – we must be cheerful givers in order to get the biggest blessing.

So what’s the best form of service?  That depends on how God has equipped you and where He is calling you to serve.  When you pray next, ask God to put people in your path that need your help and to help you identify the areas where He most wants you to serve.  He will honor your prayer and give you answers about where to serve as well as how to reduce your own anxiety and stress.

Questions:

• What are some of the biggest causes of stress in your life?
• Do you agree that giving to others can have the double-positive impact of helping them and helping to relieve your own stress?
• Do you have any examples of serving others that gave you an improved perspective or outlook?
• What are some ways you think God may be calling you to serve others? That could include things you are already doing or things you feel like He may be calling you to do?

I’m writing this from Kiawah Island where our family spends a week each summer.  At least once each year, I bike about six miles on the beach to the far northern end of the island and this year that ride inspired today’s message.

The picture below shows what it looks like on that part of the island.  The picture shows two breaks in the beach where you can cross at low tide to get to a completely uninhabited portion of the island.

When we first visited the island, there was only one break in the beach – the one to the right in the picture – but then, over time, the one to left washed through and created the marshy area between the ocean and the golf course in the picture.  This change created a new habitat for fish, birds, and other wildlife.

When I rode by this area this year, it reminded me how our lives change over time and how those changes can lead to growth and make us, in a way, a new creation.

That brings us to today’s verse which is from 2 Corinthians 5:17 which says:

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”

This island is a new creation after additional marsh is created and, in the same way, we are new creations in Christ once we allow Him to become our personal Lord and Savior.  And just as we can behold all of the new wildlife in the marsh, we are commanded in this verse to behold the new creation of anyone who is in Christ.

When we commit our lives to Christ, we are literally transformed into something new and this transformation makes us more useful to God.  Here are some examples:

• We become more patient with our children
• We see marriage as liberating instead of restrictive
• A business failure can be seen as a beginning instead of an end
• We see others through God’s eyes and understand how He wants us to love them
• Material things start losing their grip on us and we start changing our financial priorities.

These are all examples of new “marshes” in our lives that result from allowing Jesus to enter in and create them.

Questions:

• Do you have any personal “marsh” stories you can share with the group (something that happened in your life that allowed you to grow and become more useful to God)?
• When opportunities for growth come along, we don’t always embrace them.  Why do we sometimes prefer to maintain the status quo even though growth will help us and others?
• Is the process of becoming more useful to God typically an all-at-once thing or does it take a long time?
• Do you currently have anything that you feel God is calling you to change so that you can be more useful to Him?

 

As much as I hate to say it, you and I cannot have it all.  My guess is that the maximum number of things we can simultaneous do is probably around four.  For example, you can have a good career, be a good family guy, exercise regularly, and be a good community supporter if you spend most of your time on those four things.  If you are really good, you might be able to fit in one more – maybe an 8 handicap, or extensive personal travel, or endurance sports, or lots of fishing & hunting.

But even if you are good enough to squeeze in five things, you may still feel inadequate because your friends’ social media posts show them collectively doing ALL of these things and lots more.  You might ask “why can’t I do my four things AND take pictures skydiving in Dubai AND playing at Pebble Beach AND with a 180 pound tarpon?”.

In short, we all have FOMO (fear of missing out) and we are less satisfied with our boring four or five things than ever.  And if we try to make it seven or eight things, it just makes everything worse.  But, fear not, the Bible has the answer we need to combat our FOMO and help us regain a sense of peace.

Our verse for today is from Philippians 3:13:

Friends, don’t get me wrong: by no means do I count myself an expert in all of this but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward – to Jesus.

The author, Paul, was saying that even though he was throwing a lot at them at once, that they shouldn’t be anxious because not even he had it all mastered.  In a way, they may have been dealing with some FOMO of their own by thinking that they needed to master everything he was sharing with them.  But notice the real focus of Paul’s instruction which is to keep your eye on the goal of moving closer to Jesus.  In a world with an ever-increasing number of distractions, that is good advice for us too!

Questions:

1. How many things would you currently say that you’re giving significant attention to?
2. Of the things in question #1, how many are you doing well?
3. Do you sometimes have FOMO?
4. How can keeping our eyes on Jesus help us when we face the anxiety caused by trying to have it all?
5. Have you thought of anything today that you might want to do less of so that you can focus on your top three or four things?  If so, please share if you feel comfortable.

 

Last week we discussed the idea that God’s primary desire is to be in relationship with us and that He wants us to pray to Him.  We also talked about several roadblocks that keep us from praying more often.  Today we’ll we’ll go a little deeper into prayer and we’ll start with a passage from Matthew 6:9-10:

Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name.  Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.

These verses are the first two of the Lord’s prayer and, as you can see, they are  focused on God, not us.  Some of us have prayed the Lord’s prayer hundreds or even thousands of times but how often do we stop to think about what these two verses mean and why Jesus wants us to start with them?

I believe Jesus placed these verses first to tell us that God wants us to lift Him up above everything else and, that in order to in harmony with God, we need to recognize Him as our Father who created us & the world we live in and that His will is supreme.

But how do we typically view prayer?  It seems like most of the time we think about praying FOR something – career success, relief from pain & sickness, or maybe to do well on a test.  This view of prayer is consistent with two of the roadblocks to prayer we discussed last week:

1. We don’t want to “bother” God with petty requests, and
2. We don’t want to seem selfish by asking for things for ourselves

So if these things keep us from praying, maybe we should flip our thinking 180 degrees and look at prayer mostly as our chance to glorify God and tell Him how great we think He is?  Obviously, God already knows how great He is and doesn’t need us to tell Him.  So maybe He wants us to do this so we don’t forget.  When we look at it that way, prayer can viewed as something we need to do instead of something that’s optional.  Here are some questions for discussion:

1. Do you agree with the idea that we mostly think of prayer as an opportunity to ask God for things?
2. If we prioritize glorifying God in our prayers and pray more consistently, what are some of the good things that might come from doing that?
3. When you think about prayer as primarily focused on glorifying God, does that make you want to pray more often?
4. If you were teaching someone about prayer who had never heard of it, how would you describe its purpose?

 

For a topic that seems so simple on the surface, prayer is one of the most confusing concepts for many Christians.  Today, we’ll dig in to the topic of prayer to try to address this confusion. Our verse is from Jeremiah 29:12 which says:

Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.

This will be a multi-week topic and will include ideas on how to pray exactly as Jesus taught us but first we need to start with some foundational concepts.

We know that God is always pursuing us and that He wants to be in relationship with us.  In fact, if we were asked to summarize the entire Bible (including the new and old testament), we could say that the central and overarching theme is that God is always pursuing us.  That’s it. God wants to be in relationship with us.

If you are reading this on your own, stop for a minute and let this idea sink in.  The Bible is not about making us feel bad for sinning or expecting us to understand deep theological concepts before we can be a “good” Christian.  It is about God pursuing us in order to be in relationship.

Just like a parent wants to be in relationship with their child, God wants the same with us.  So what does it mean to be in relationship? Certainly, it requires spending time together and talking with each other.  Would a parent be happy if their children ignored them completely? Of course not and, in the same way, God wants to hear from us and spend time with us.  

As mentioned above, prayer is a simple concept but it is often avoided by Christians.  I believe this is primarily for one or more of the following reasons:

• It is a discipline and we have a hard time maintaining discipline in many areas of our lives
• We get distracted easily and our minds wander
• There are more enjoyable things to do
• We don’t want to do it the “wrong” way
• We don’t want to bother God with our petty requests
• We are independent and feel like we can live life on our own
• We think we’re being selfish if we make requests of God
• We may be mad at God and just really don’t want to talk with Him

Whether or not any of these resonate with you, our goal today is primarily to be aware that prayer is not as simple it seems on the surface and that it takes a lot of effort.  That foundation will help continue the discussion more effectively.  To prepare for next week, check out Matthew 6:5-15.

Questions:

1. What do you think about the idea that God’s primary desire is to be in relationship with us?
2. Do you agree with the idea that prayer is a much more complicated topic than it seems on the surface?
3. If we want to do our part to be in relationship with God, why is prayer so important?
4. What are some of the practical benefits of maintaining a consistent prayer life?
5. Do any of the roadblocks to prayer listed above resonate with you?

 

Is it possible to be both humble and great at the same time?  The answer is “yes” and today we’ll see how.  Today’s verse is from James 4:10 which says:

“Humble yourselves before the Lord and He will lift you up.”

James wrote these words around 20-30 years after Jesus ascended back to heaven and, by this time, he was a legend in the early church.  He was one of Jesus’ actual brothers who didn’t believe in Him at first but later became one of His biggest fans.   His audience for this letter was Jewish Christians (which he refers to as “the twelve tribes scattered among the nations”).  These Jewish Christians, including James, were heavily persecuted and, in many cases, killed for being followers of Jesus.  His letter is intended to help them learn how to work together in community in order to fulfill the teaching of Jesus and, in part, how to survive.

According to this verse, when we humble ourselves, God will lift us up.  So what exactly is humility and how do we achieve it?

Dictionary.com defines humility as “modest opinion or estimate of one’s own importance” but I think that is a terrible definition.  Lowering our opinion of ourselves is not the answer because the verse says He wants us to be lifted up.  I think a better explanation, or at least the one that makes the most sense to me, is that humility comes from understanding 1) God’s importance, 2) the importance that God places on all of His children & His creation and 3) our place in His plan.

So one of the ways, maybe the primary way, that we can achieve humility is to understand these points and to develop one simple habit and that is the practice of gratitude.  For example, see if the following statements make you feel more humble:

• I can turn a handle and get clean water any time I want to
• Even if my parents are dysfunctional, they gave me life
• I’m grateful for all of my mistakes and the lessons they’ve taught me
• Even though it is exhausting and frustrating at times, I’m grateful for the perspective gained from raising children
• I’m grateful for the lows in life because they help me appreciate the highs

Practicing gratitude counteracts pride and arrogance which helps us keep a more humble perspective.  Maybe it is just that simple then and gratitude really is the way to humility.

Questions:

• Do you agree that being humble isn’t the same things as lowering our opinion of ourselves?
• Today’s verse says that God will lift us up when we humble ourselves.  What are some of the ways God can lift us up?
• Do you agree that practicing gratitude is the way, or at least a major way, to become more humble?
• What are some things we can do to more regularly practice gratitude?

[Thanks to our guest writer for this lesson, Brad Wood.]

Today’s lesson is related to the Mentoring presentation Regi Campbell delivered at the men’s breakfast last Saturday and today’s verse is a command from Jesus about mentoring:

“Jesus, gave his charge: ‘God authorized and commanded me to commission you: Go out and train everyone you meet, far and near, in this way of life.”

Below is a funny story to explain the difference between acting the part of a Christian and actually living as a Christian:

Max Planck, after he won the Nobel Prize, went around Germany giving the same standard lecture on the new quantum mechanics.

Over time, his chauffeur memorized the lecture and one day said, “Would you mind if I gave the lecture in Munich and you just sat in front wearing my chauffeur’s hat?” Planck said, “Why not?”

After the chauffeur gave this long lecture on quantum mechanics a professor stood up and asked a complicated question.  The chauffeur said, “Well I’m surprised that in an advanced city like Munich I get such an elementary question. In fact, it is so elementary that I’m going to ask my chauffeur to reply.”

This humorous story can be tied back to how we live our lives.  It is easy for us to look and act the part of a “Christian” but in order to actually understand the meaning behind what Christians say and do we must make a genuine commitment.

As Christians we are called to live what Regi Campbell refers to as “this way of life”.  Below are the five things that Regi says following “this way of life” means to him:

• • • God is at the center of everything
    • Don’t worry
    • Be grateful for money, but never forget it all comes from Him
    • The first place I’m to “train in this way of life” is at home
    • Live your life for others

Regi believes that discovering what ‘this way of life’ means is different for everyone.  He says “Decide what ‘this way of life’ means for you. Write it down. Think about it. Pray over it. Talk to your wife about it. Commit yourself to it.”

Taking the time to really dig in and do all of these things is the difference between being a “chauffeur” Christian and committing ourselves to discovering what “this way of life” means for us.  Only then can we understand God’s plan for us and how He wants to move in our lives.

Questions:
1. As Christians, we all agree that it’s important to know WHAT to say but do you believe it is also important to think deeply about the real meaning behind the words we say?

2. Just as Regi listed five things that “this way of life” means to him, what are some things it means to you in your own life?

3. What are some things you can do to better understand and develop your personal “this way of life”?

4. What are some of the benefits that will come from committing the time to better understand “this way of life” for yourself?

Mother’s day seems like such a simple concept on the surface but for some reason it seems to trip us guys up more than it should.  Today we’re going to share some of our best and worst experiences & ideas to help us not just survive Mother’s day but excel!  Our verse for the day is from Proverbs 31:28 which says:

Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her

Getting Mother’s day right is more than just about not getting in trouble with our wife and mother.  It’s about loving them in the way they want & need to be loved so that they are more at peace.  It is about being a thoughtful leader in our house and understanding what is needed most for our family to thrive.  It is about genuinely honoring those who brought us and our children into this world and provided nurturing, loving care.  At the heart of the day, it is all about love.

Women think about Mother’s Day very differently than men think about Father’s Day.  We are very happy if we are just left alone for most of the day and maybe allowed to play a guilt-free round of golf.  For women, it’s more than that.  Having never been a woman or a mother, I can only speak with a certain level of confidence on this topic but it seems like there are a few common desires shared by mothers on their special day:

• They want to spend time with their children but not as the care-giver; they want their children to dote on them and someone else to perform the care & feeding for one day
• They want someone to cook a nice meal
• Flowers and jewelry are always winners
• Until the children are beyond a certain age, wives expect their husbands to coordinate Mother’s day activities as well as the production of some hand-made gifts
• No cooking, washing, or cleaning for a day

Simple, right?  Sort of, but you can still mess it up.  It isn’t enough to just go out to eat…..you need to go to her favorite restaurant.  It isn’t enough for her not to have to clean or do laundry if it is just piling up for her to do the next day.  It doesn’t take a huge amount of planning but it does take some.  The good news is that the return-on-investment is very high!  Here are some questions to help us get Mother’s day right this year:

• Do you agree that we think of Father’s Day differently than women think of Mother’s day? If so, in what ways?
• If we get Mother’s day right, what are the direct and indirect positive effects on our wife & family?
• What are some good Mother’s day ideas you’ve had in the past or are planning to use this year?
• This is the flip-side of the last question – what are some things we should really try to avoid on Mother’s day?

Today’s verse is from Psalm 46:10 which says, “Be still and know that I am God.”

I had breakfast recently with a private investor who owns minority shares in a handful of small companies.  He said that over the past couple of years, it has become much more difficult to find a good opportunity.  He was sacrificing his health and family relationships in order to dedicate more and more time to finding his next investment.  But as his frustration grew and his health & relationships became more & more strained, he turned to God in prayer.  The answer he got was to relax, be patient, and acknowledge that God is in control.  For the past year, he has followed this path and everything is better in his life – and, as an added bonus, he’s realized that when there is an eventual market correction, he’ll be well-positioned to step in and assist companies in need.

Many of us are in a similar situation.  It is so easy to keep striving and grasping for the next rung on the ladder when, in the words of Stephen Covey, our ladder may not even be leaning against the right wall.  Maybe we should stop climbing from time to time to check in with God and see if our ladder is well positioned.

But that is not what our culture celebrates or encourages.  We celebrate leadership and achievement and material gains.  There is nothing inherently wrong with any of these things but, if they are our sole focus, we may indeed get to the top of the ladder and be disappointed.

Here are a few questions for discussion:

• What does “being still” mean to you?
• Do you routinely take time to be still? If so, what are the positive impacts?  If not, what are some of the potentially negative impacts?
• Do you agree with the ladder analogy? In other words, is there value in stopping our climb sometimes to check in with God?
• Why is it so hard for us to be still?
• What is one thing you would like to do differently as a result of today’s lesson?