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My mentoring group recently read Ordering Your Private World by Gordon MacDonald.  The book contained many lessons about creating an orderly life and following a disciplined approach in order to enhance the likelihood of long-term peace and prosperity.  These lessons are especially important in 2020 because today there are many distractions that can take us away from the pursuit of a Godly, orderly life. 

Life is complicated enough without having to worry about getting sick from coronavirus, educating our kids effectively, living with societal unrest, and managing our business in the midst of a pandemic.  With all of those extra factors hitting at one time, it is easy to get distracted and find it difficult to get back on track.

Related to this is one of MacDonald’s key points which is that we are trained to manage our public world well but not our private world.  We are taught to emphasize our appearance and image because the world judges us by our education, job, car, house, and other easily-measured things.

The problem is that, as we get older, life typically gets more complicated and demanding.  In order to successfully complete the race and claim the victory, we must intentionally and diligently focus on our mental growth and endurance.  If we ignore our private world, cracks will form and we will see failures in certain area of our lives.  This brings us to our verse for the day which is from Proverbs 4:23:

Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flows the springs of life.

The way MacDonald puts it, what you do on the inside will someday “cry aloud from the housetop”.  Here are some things he says we should do to get our private worlds in order:

• Understand what drives you and compare it to where Jesus is calling you; if different, move in the direction of your calling
• Understand your purpose and focus on that unwaveringly
• Practice “release” from being conformed to the world’s expectations
• Reduce time “leaks” – keep a time journal and analyze it; budget your time far in advance and use thoughtful criteria for managing it.
• Listen to God through your prayer life; listen to mentors and critics
• Use all you learn in service to others as Christ did
• Read – when we are not reading, struggle often follows; do a lot of “offensive” (proactive) reading to put building blocks in place
• Solitude & silence
• Reflection & meditation
• Prayer and worship
• Journaling

In order to incorporate most or all of these activities into our life, we need to intentionally and consistently order our private world to make them a priority.  To help us work in that direction, here are a few questions for discussion.

1. Have you recently found it more difficult than usual to focus on developing your private world?  If so, what are some of the challenges you are personally facing?
2. Do you have any examples of cracks that formed in your life or in the lives of others that were caused by ignoring your/their private world?
3. What are some time leaks you can reduce or eliminate in order to focus more on your private world?
4. If you had more time to focus on your private world, what are some areas where you would most like to focus?
5. What are some practical strategies you can employ to prioritize ordering your private world?

Last week we talked about the idea of letting God break our hearts with what breaks His.  The first step we talked about is to read the Bible more often so that we can start working toward better understanding the Heart of God.

As we discussed last week, no matter what your politics are, it is important right now to try to soften our hearts and embrace others.  There are always people behind the scenes on both sides of the political aisle that are doing more to hurt the situation than help but the vast, vast majority of people are just trying to live a good life and find joy wherever they can.  Since every one of those people are children of God, He wants us to understand them better so that we can genuinely love them.

It is undeniable that there are many so-called leaders who are making things worse but don’t let that distract you.  Try to envision Nancy Pelosi and Donald Trump embracing each other in true friendship.  While that is difficult (and somewhat humorous) to imagine, this is what God wants from the two of them in the same way that we want our own children to embrace and love each other.  The Pelosi/Trump embrace will likely never occur but, if it does, it will only be possible if they soften their hearts and understand that God wants them to look at each other as individuals who need and deserve love.  They both need to start by trying to better understand God’s heart.

The biggest single thing we can do to better understand the heart of God is to study the Bible – not just read it but dig in and study it.  I try to read at least one chapter each day but I have to admit that I have not done a very good job recently of really digging in to study & analyze what I’m reading.  If I’m being real honest, my motivation is probably to say that I read the Bible instead of thinking of it as a way to better understand the heart of God.

That recent realization made me want to make some changes for the better.  It made me want to approach my Bible time with a pure heart and with the goal of getting a lot out of it.  That led to the idea of a Bible challenge.  This week, let’s each pair up with someone else from the group to go a little deeper in the Bible.  You and your partner can pick any verse or passage you want and the goal is to get together in-person or virtually this week for at least 15 minutes to do two things: 1) try to go deep about what you took away from that verse/passage and 2) talk about some strategies for more consistently reading the Bible with the intent of better understanding the heart of God.

Questions:

1. Do you agree that the biggest single thing we can do to better understand God is to read the Bible?  Why or why not?
2. If each of us really committed to studying (not just reading) the Bible daily, what affect would it have on us – not just in softening our hearts for others but overall?
3. What are some of the barriers that keep us from reading and studying the Bible more consistently?
4. Other than this week’s challenge, what are some things we can do to make studying the Bible a more consistent practice in the future?

Over the past few days, I’ve thought a lot about a powerful song by Hillsong United titled “Hosanna” which includes the lyrics “Break my heart with what breaks yours.”  I’ve heard the song many times but have never really taken them personally to heart as much as I have this week.

This is a tough post to write because as I’ve followed the news coverage and read various blog posts & comments about the senseless death of George Floyd in Minneapolis, I’ve realized that I have been lazy and afraid to really let God break my heart with what breaks His.

Before we go any further, if your mind is already wandering in the direction of blaming the current unrest in America on a particular politician, political party, activist group, or any other group or person, please stop.  Just stop.   It isn’t going to help.  If it would help, I would be all for it but it won’t so, again, please focus only on solutions and healing.

Back to our lesson — I don’t know how to stop the unrest or eliminate injustice of all kinds but I do know that the answer is not to think of this as a debate.  We don’t solve anything by trying to win debate points or “prove” a technical point.  Even if we could prove a point, all we would do is cause the other side to dig in deeper and work harder to prove us wrong.  The harder you push, the harder they will push back.

The actual solution is one that isn’t easy or comfortable for us.  The first step is to put ourselves in God’s shoes and ask what breaks His heart.  We can’t know the heart of God unless we know His word.  We have to be in the Bible, searching for messages He wants us to see.

After we start gaining a better understanding of God’s heart, the next step is to try to allow our heart to be broken by what breaks His.  This is the most difficult part because nobody, including me, likes to have their heart broken.  It’s no fun.  It’s draining and painful.  But the goal is not to make ourselves miserable. The goal is to become more useful to God, which brings us to the final point.

After we understand what breaks God’s heart and allow our hearts to be broken, the ultimate goal is to do something that will make others’ lives better, ease their burden, and/or bring them joy.  This, in turn, will make God smile.

God is the only one who can provide the answers we need to solve the unrest in our country.  By first trying to understand what breaks His heart, we will be better equipped to be used by Him in miraculous ways.

As we answer today’s questions, remember not to blame political parties, individuals, or groups.  Focus only on how we can be used by God to create healing and peace.

Questions:

1. On a scale on 1-10, how well would you say you let God break your heart with what breaks His?  Are you satisfied with your answer?
2. Why is it uncomfortable for us to dive deep to understand what breaks God’s heart?
3. What are some action steps you might take based on today’s lesson to help you allow God to shape your heart?
4. Can you think of some specific things you can do this week to ease someone’s burden or otherwise facilitate healing and peace?

If you are worried right now, you are in good company – the average level of uncertainty and anxiety among my friends and loved ones is as high as I can ever remember.  Maybe for a brief period after 9/11 it was worse but we quickly reached a new normal in that case.  And even the great recession that started in 2007/2008 was probably not as worrisome, on average, because there was a discernable cause that we could point to and a somewhat predictable path forward.

The problem with the Covid-19 crisis is that there are still so many unknowns.

When will we get a vaccine?  What will the future of work look like?  Or how about air travel, sporting events, classrooms, summer camps for kids, and church gatherings?  And for the 30 million Americans who have filed for unemployment over the past few weeks, there are also very real immediate questions about their ability to provide for their families.

This is the part of the lesson where the author or teacher says something along the lines of “don’t be anxious because God is in control”.  But it seems like we need more than that right now.  Is God really in control?  Of course He is – now and always – but it is fair to ask what good could be coming out of all of the seemingly bad things going on around us.  To provide more insight into that question, it will be helpful for us to focus on how God shapes and molds us during difficult times.

During a recent difficult period in my life, I learned to rely on God more than ever and to give up at least some of my addition to being in control.  As part of this effort, I filled up my playlist with songs about giving up control and giving things over to God.  Listening to these songs day after day made a meaningful positive impact on my mindset.  One of my favorite go-tos was (and still is) Hawk Nelson’s song “Diamonds”.  Here is how this song starts:

Here and now I’m in the fire, in above my head
Being held under the pressure, don’t know what will be left
But it’s here in the ashes
I’m finding treasure

He’s making diamonds
Making diamonds
He’s making diamonds out of dust
He is refining
And in his timing
He’s making diamonds out of us

This song reminds us that everyone, even Christians, can get in over our heads sometimes and the pressure can feel unbearable.  But it is pressure that creates things of beauty like diamonds.

Here’s a challenge for this week — try to catch yourself when worry arises and redirect your thoughts to questions like “where is God moving in my life during this time?” or “where is God leading me?” or “how is God using this pressure to mold me in ways that I will be more useful to Him?”.  It is still going to be a difficult time, but maybe these questions will at least help us focus more on God than ourselves.

Questions:

• Have you ever known the average level of anxiety in the world to be any higher than it is right now?
• Do you believe that God uses difficult times to mold us and make more useful to Him?
• [Give the next question a little extra thought because it is central to understanding the heart of God and His plans for us] If good things are going to come out of this difficult time, why would we not be more hopeful and positive? Why are we so anxious?
• If you feel comfortable sharing, on a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your personal need to be in control (10 means you need to control everything and 1 means you are very comfortable trusting God and giving Him control)?
• For a person who struggles to give up control,  how might they benefit if they moved more in the direction of letting God take the wheel?

One of the biggest questions for many Christians is whether or not we are doing the right thing in the eyes of God.  Or whether or not we are doing enough of the right things.

Two of the very core activities we are called to practice consistently are Prayer and reading & studying the Bible.  These are two simple concepts on the surface but we often make it complicated by asking questions like “how should I pray?”…..“how should I study the Bible?”…..”where do I start?”….and, often, because we don’t have the exact answers to those questions we just don’t do anything.  So, what’s the answer to this dilemma?

I like to think of it like training for a marathon because running 26.2 miles is an easy concept but you can’t just go out and do that unless you’ve been working on it.  Little by little, every day you make progress.  Nobody who starts training for a marathon is mad if they can’t run 26.2 miles on the first day, so why don’t we look at prayer and Bible study the same way – just get started and do a little every day.  Make it a habit.

Making a habit of anything is  a matter of blocking time for a particular activity, ideally the same time & place every day, and then protecting that block of time and avoiding distractions.  In term of establishing the habit of Bible study & prayer, don’t worry if you can’t finish the “marathon” on the first day.  Just get started.  If you get frustrated, read an article on effective prayer or Bible study and put some of these ideas into practice the next day.  If it works, great!  Keep doing it.  If not, try something else but just keep going, keep searching for the answers.

So why is the title of this post “Habit and Intent” and not just about habits?  It’s because the devil is really sneaky.  Like an experienced wrestler who uses your own momentum against you, if you really get these habits going, the devil will plant thoughts to get you off track.  Instead of focusing on God and His plan for your life, you might start focusing instead on your fantastic streak of 50 days in a row, which then makes it more about the streak than about God.  Or you might get prideful about it and boast to others about your what a great Christian you are which, again, takes the focus away from God.  So, as you continue to develop strong habits, be aware of your intent and bring it back to God if you get off track.

Blessings to you as you start (or continue) your marathon training!

Questions:

For any particular activity, why is it important to establish a habit vs. trying to fit it in when you have the time?

Do you agree that the habits of prayer and Bible study are difficult to establish because we want to have it all figured out before we start?

Do you believe it is important to consistently pray and study the Bible in order to be a “good Christian”?  Why or why not?

Do you agree that maintaining purity of intent helps ensure that your prayers and Bible study are as effective as possible?

What is one thing you can do tomorrow to start your “marathon training”?

 

The picture below is from a part of the PATH near my house that I pass by frequently.  Wouldn’t it be nice if we had signs and guard rails like this in every area of our life?  Today we’ll talk about the narrow road that Jesus wants us to follow in life and how we can install some signs & guardrails like the ones in this picture.

Matthew 7:13-14 says “Enter through the narrow gate.  For wide is the gate and broad the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it.  But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life….”.

In speaking these words, Jesus is encouraging us to follow Him and His commands.  And, as we’ve discussed many times, at the very root of all of His teachings is the idea that we are always supposed to Love God and Love people.

There is nothing complicated about the narrow road.  It is extremely simple and does not require a lot of advanced thinking to understand.  For example, here are a few things we can do to stay on the narrow road: be nice, eat & drink in moderation, be patient and kind, be happy with what you have and thankful for it, don’t brag (not even humble-bragging), don’t be rude or self-serving, be quick to forgive others and yourself.

Although none of these concepts are complicated, every one of us strays from the path from time to time and all of us can benefit from guardrails and signs that remind us to stay on the narrow road.  So here are a few simple ideas that may help:

• Study the narrow road – Read the Bible and other wisdom literature daily. Listen to wisdom-oriented podcasts.  Attend church, Bible studies, and small groups.
• Plan in advance for stormy waters – If you know you are going into a situation that will challenge your ability to stay on the narrow road, think about it in advance and have a plan.
• Develop a recovery protocol – When you stray from the narrow path, have a pre-determined plan to get back on track as quickly as possible.
• Accountability – Seek out an accountability partner in whom you can confide and be real. Sharing your struggles with another person is a very effective way of expediting the process of getting back on track.

The Advent season is a great time of year to reflect on narrowing your path in the coming year.  Your efforts to move your guardrails in a little (or a lot) will bless not just you but your family and everyone around you.  Here are a few questions for discussion:

• Jesus says that the “wide gate and broad road leads to destruction”. What do you think He means by “destruction”?
• Do you have any examples of narrowing your path and installing guardrails in your life that had positive results?
• If there is truly nothing complicated about the “narrow road” why is it so difficult to stay on it?
• What is one area of your life where you would like to install guardrails and narrow your road in the coming year?
• For you personally, what strategy do you think would be most effective to help you stay on the narrow path in the coming year? It could be one of the four ideas listed above or something else.

Rev. Jeff Rogers delivered the sermon at Northside last Sunday and painted a beautiful picture of the mentoring relationship Paul had with Timothy.  As Paul got older and became less physically active, he knew that there needed to be a capable leader to step into his shoes and continue spreading the ministry.  Paul picked Timothy for this honor and spent significant time mentoring him so he could take over.  That brings us to today’s verse which is from Proverbs 27:17:

“Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another”

Rev. Jeff had a few points about mentoring others:

• If you are mentoring someone, you need to pray for them. Paul said that he prayed constantly for Timothy.
• You should truly care about those you are mentoring and want the best for them. You should give them guidance that will in-turn help them become better disciples for Jesus.
• You should “pour yourself” in to those you are mentoring, meaning that you should invest in them in order to create a return on that investment.

One of his points was that we may not feel ready to mentor another person because we don’t feel equipped or qualified to do so.  If that describes you, then you should reach out to Christian men you trust and respect in order to help bring you along on the road to discipleship.

This might feel like a heavy burden for those of us who really just want to go to church or a Bible study in order to be fed but who don’t really have an interest in taking on more responsibility than that.  The idea that God expects us to be a disciple to others and not just someone who sits and listens might be a lot to process.

But it may help to think about the church as a disciple factory.  The goal is to be constantly moving people along a discipleship conveyor belt.  What would be the point of it all otherwise?  Imagine a car factory that didn’t produce cars….it wouldn’t stay in business very long because the whole purpose of the factory is to produce a finished car that someone will buy.

But unlike a car factory, we don’t have to become a “completed” or “perfect” disciple before we engage in mentoring others and bringing them along.  There will always be someone ahead of you and behind you on the discipleship conveyor belt.  For those behind you, there is an opportunity to reach back and offer them a hand forward.  And, in the same way, we need to reach out to those ahead of us in order to accelerate our discipleship growth.

Here are a few questions for discussion:

• Do you agree with the idea that God expects all of us to be moving along a discipleship “conveyor belt”?
• Does mentoring others in their Christian walk necessarily need to be a formal process or can it be more informal?
• Are you comfortable with the idea that you should always be working on becoming a better disciple in order to mentor others in your life and help them become better disciples?
• What are some simple things we can do to be a mentor to others even if those efforts aren’t through a formal mentoring program?
• In what ways can each of us better prepare ourselves to be a disciple who can be used by God?

As we start November, our minds will soon turn to the holiday season and all the busyness and activities.  Today’s lesson will challenge us to think about the holidays differently this year – to slow down and be present in order to honor God.  Today’s Bible passage from Luke 10:38-40 reminds us to focus on the important things in life.

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him.  She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said.  But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

So Jesus unexpectedly shows up at Martha’s house and she starts running around the cleaning up the place and getting some snacks together while Mary stops to soak in as much of Jesus as she could.  Martha complains that Mary is helping but Jesus encourages her to stop worrying about so many things and just focus on the one thing – Him.

Although Jesus is with us in Spirit all the time, he isn’t dropping by any of our houses for a visit so what are we supposed to take away from this story?  I believe if Jesus were here he would give us two things to do this holiday season – turn our minds toward God more frequently and be fully present with our family & friends.

Jesus ends by saying that we should focus on the things that can’t be taken away from us.  For example, a clean house gets messy again but the value of quality time with loved ones can’t be taken away.  People will not remember you picked the perfect wine pairings for your party but they will remember if you were fully present in conversation with them.  People won’t remember the cookies your family made to give as gifts as much as they will remember the time you spent with them when you dropped them off.

We’ll wrap up with the picture below which sums up today’s lesson well:

Questions:

1. During the holiday season, do you typically feel more like Mary (focused on the right things) or like Martha (focused on the busyness of getting it all in)?
2. If you had a chance to ask Jesus how to be more like Mary than Martha, what do you think he would suggest?
3. Even though  today’s lesson is very simple, we often get sidetracked.  What are some of the main reasons we lose our way sometimes and act like Martha?
4. Some would say that one of the keys to today’s lesson is to say “no” to certain things in order to say “yes” to more of the important things.  What are some things you might need to say “no” to this holiday season?
5. Based on today’s lesson, what are some things you would like to do differently this holiday season?

Ego is a topic that came up the last two weeks in our group conversations.  Two weeks ago, it was in relation to the parable of the sower.  Our worries about life and the deceitfulness of wealth are like weeds that choke out the message God wants us to hear.  And last week it was in relation to keeping our eyes on Jesus so we don’t sink like Peter started to do before Jesus saved him.  Worries and an intense focus on striving for wealth can distract us from the message of Jesus.  So today we’ll dig in a little deeper and discuss how we can suppress our ego in order to remove barriers between us and God.

For the purpose of this discussion, when we say “ego” we are referring to an over-inflated sense of our own self-importance.  That is different than feeling good about ourselves which God wants us to do.  He wants us to be at peace and rest easy knowing that all our needs will be provided and that He has a plan to prosper us (Jeremiah 29:11).  But when we forget that and try to put ourselves in God’s place, taking the wheel from Him, we get in trouble.

That brings us to today’s verse which is from Proverbs 16:18

Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.

Ego (or pride) is something that people have struggled with forever, but I believe it may be a more difficult challenge today than it has ever been – and it is getting worse.  Just looking at Facebook or Instagram (or any social media) for even a few minutes has been proven to make us feel worse, primarily because people post their best experiences which can make us want to match or exceed them.  Additionally, advertisers have access to your search histories which is why you keep getting bombarded with ads for things you really want – and things that take more money to get.

Certainly there are many contributors to an inflated ego but I believe these two things (social media and advertising) are two of the most powerful forces that create a desire in us to make something good happen right now instead of patiently waiting for the blessings God has in store for us.  This then drives us to want to take the wheel from God so that we fast-track the good things we think we deserve.  That, in turn, drives us to want to make more money and, unfortunately, in some cases take shortcuts.

Suppressing the ego and managing pride is like running a marathon – it is a long, slow process that takes a lot of work.  Hopefully, today’s lesson will at least help us recognize some of the core problems and take steps in the right direction.

Questions

• Why do you think the topic of ego keeps coming up in our group discussions?
• Do you agree that social media and advertising are major contributors to an over-inflated ego?  Why or why not?
• Today’s verse says: Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. Why do you think pride or ego can cause destruction or a fall?
• How would you explain the idea that God wants us to suppress our ego but also wants us to feel great about ourselves?
• What are some habits or practices you can form or break that might help suppress ego?

After preaching to a large crowd one day, Jesus sent his disciples across to the other side of the lake and told them to wait for him there.   We get the rest of the story from Matthew 14:25-31 which says:

²⁵ Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake.²⁶ When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear. ²⁷ But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” ²⁸ “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.” ²⁹ “Come,” he said.  Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. ³⁰ But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” ³¹ Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”

It is tempting to judge Peter for doubting that Jesus was going to protect him but then I remember that I’m probably even worse!  One of the things that stuck out to me in this passage is that Peter knew that Jesus could miraculously help him walk on water.  So what was Peter’s downfall?  It was when he took his eyes off of Jesus.  Verse 30 says “when he saw the wind he was afraid”.

When Peter allowed his focus to switch from Jesus to the wind he became scared and started to sink.  But when he returned his focus to Jesus and cried out to Him, Jesus reached out His hand to save Peter.

So then we need to ask why God would design us in such a way that we start sinking if we take our eyes off of Him.  Here are a few possibilities:

1. God wants us to take risks and get outside of our comfort zone so that we are always growing, but this means we are going to see some storms from time to time.
2. We cannot save ourselves but that doesn’t keep us from trying!  God wants us to be reminded how much we need Him.
3. Sinking can help prepare us to help rescue others. In Luke 22:32, Jesus told Peter “I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you have returned to Me, strengthen your brethren”.  Jesus allowed Peter to fail and, by overcoming that negative experience, he emerged stronger in his faith. Afterward, he was able to relate to others with more compassion and help them overcome by God’s grace.

As a final thought, a wise person once said that God will let you sink so low that you know you can’t live without Him and He will take you so high that you’ll know you you couldn’t have gotten there without Him.

Questions:

1. Can you relate to Peter?  Do you ever feel like you are sinking because you take your eyes off of Jesus?
2. Do you have any stories about returning your eyes to Jesus and being saved?
3. Do you agree that God wants us to sink a little (or a lot) from time to time?  If so, why?
4. Are you struggling with anything right now that is taking your eyes off of Jesus?  If you are comfortable, please share with the group.
5. Based on today’s lesson, what is something you might change to try to do a better job of keeping your eyes on Jesus?