Author: Jimmy Trimble

As much as I hate to say it, you and I cannot have it all.  My guess is that the maximum number of things we can simultaneous do is probably around four.  For example, you can have a good career, be a good family guy, exercise regularly, and be a good community supporter if you spend most of your time on those four things.  If you are really good, you might be able to fit in one more – maybe an 8 handicap, or extensive personal travel, or endurance sports, or lots of fishing & hunting.

But even if you are good enough to squeeze in five things, you may still feel inadequate because your friends’ social media posts show them collectively doing ALL of these things and lots more.  You might ask “why can’t I do my four things AND take pictures skydiving in Dubai AND playing at Pebble Beach AND with a 180 pound tarpon?”.

In short, we all have FOMO (fear of missing out) and we are less satisfied with our boring four or five things than ever.  And if we try to make it seven or eight things, it just makes everything worse.  But, fear not, the Bible has the answer we need to combat our FOMO and help us regain a sense of peace.

Our verse for today is from Philippians 3:13:

Friends, don’t get me wrong: by no means do I count myself an expert in all of this but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward – to Jesus.

The author, Paul, was saying that even though he was throwing a lot at them at once, that they shouldn’t be anxious because not even he had it all mastered.  In a way, they may have been dealing with some FOMO of their own by thinking that they needed to master everything he was sharing with them.  But notice the real focus of Paul’s instruction which is to keep your eye on the goal of moving closer to Jesus.  In a world with an ever-increasing number of distractions, that is good advice for us too!

Questions:

1. How many things would you currently say that you’re giving significant attention to?
2. Of the things in question #1, how many are you doing well?
3. Do you sometimes have FOMO?
4. How can keeping our eyes on Jesus help us when we face the anxiety caused by trying to have it all?
5. Have you thought of anything today that you might want to do less of so that you can focus on your top three or four things?  If so, please share if you feel comfortable.

 

Last week we discussed the idea that God’s primary desire is to be in relationship with us and that He wants us to pray to Him.  We also talked about several roadblocks that keep us from praying more often.  Today we’ll we’ll go a little deeper into prayer and we’ll start with a passage from Matthew 6:9-10:

Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name.  Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.

These verses are the first two of the Lord’s prayer and, as you can see, they are  focused on God, not us.  Some of us have prayed the Lord’s prayer hundreds or even thousands of times but how often do we stop to think about what these two verses mean and why Jesus wants us to start with them?

I believe Jesus placed these verses first to tell us that God wants us to lift Him up above everything else and, that in order to in harmony with God, we need to recognize Him as our Father who created us & the world we live in and that His will is supreme.

But how do we typically view prayer?  It seems like most of the time we think about praying FOR something – career success, relief from pain & sickness, or maybe to do well on a test.  This view of prayer is consistent with two of the roadblocks to prayer we discussed last week:

1. We don’t want to “bother” God with petty requests, and
2. We don’t want to seem selfish by asking for things for ourselves

So if these things keep us from praying, maybe we should flip our thinking 180 degrees and look at prayer mostly as our chance to glorify God and tell Him how great we think He is?  Obviously, God already knows how great He is and doesn’t need us to tell Him.  So maybe He wants us to do this so we don’t forget.  When we look at it that way, prayer can viewed as something we need to do instead of something that’s optional.  Here are some questions for discussion:

1. Do you agree with the idea that we mostly think of prayer as an opportunity to ask God for things?
2. If we prioritize glorifying God in our prayers and pray more consistently, what are some of the good things that might come from doing that?
3. When you think about prayer as primarily focused on glorifying God, does that make you want to pray more often?
4. If you were teaching someone about prayer who had never heard of it, how would you describe its purpose?

 

For a topic that seems so simple on the surface, prayer is one of the most confusing concepts for many Christians.  Today, we’ll dig in to the topic of prayer to try to address this confusion. Our verse is from Jeremiah 29:12 which says:

Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.

This will be a multi-week topic and will include ideas on how to pray exactly as Jesus taught us but first we need to start with some foundational concepts.

We know that God is always pursuing us and that He wants to be in relationship with us.  In fact, if we were asked to summarize the entire Bible (including the new and old testament), we could say that the central and overarching theme is that God is always pursuing us.  That’s it. God wants to be in relationship with us.

If you are reading this on your own, stop for a minute and let this idea sink in.  The Bible is not about making us feel bad for sinning or expecting us to understand deep theological concepts before we can be a “good” Christian.  It is about God pursuing us in order to be in relationship.

Just like a parent wants to be in relationship with their child, God wants the same with us.  So what does it mean to be in relationship? Certainly, it requires spending time together and talking with each other.  Would a parent be happy if their children ignored them completely? Of course not and, in the same way, God wants to hear from us and spend time with us.  

As mentioned above, prayer is a simple concept but it is often avoided by Christians.  I believe this is primarily for one or more of the following reasons:

• It is a discipline and we have a hard time maintaining discipline in many areas of our lives
• We get distracted easily and our minds wander
• There are more enjoyable things to do
• We don’t want to do it the “wrong” way
• We don’t want to bother God with our petty requests
• We are independent and feel like we can live life on our own
• We think we’re being selfish if we make requests of God
• We may be mad at God and just really don’t want to talk with Him

Whether or not any of these resonate with you, our goal today is primarily to be aware that prayer is not as simple it seems on the surface and that it takes a lot of effort.  That foundation will help continue the discussion more effectively.  To prepare for next week, check out Matthew 6:5-15.

Questions:

1. What do you think about the idea that God’s primary desire is to be in relationship with us?
2. Do you agree with the idea that prayer is a much more complicated topic than it seems on the surface?
3. If we want to do our part to be in relationship with God, why is prayer so important?
4. What are some of the practical benefits of maintaining a consistent prayer life?
5. Do any of the roadblocks to prayer listed above resonate with you?

 

Is it possible to be both humble and great at the same time?  The answer is “yes” and today we’ll see how.  Today’s verse is from James 4:10 which says:

“Humble yourselves before the Lord and He will lift you up.”

James wrote these words around 20-30 years after Jesus ascended back to heaven and, by this time, he was a legend in the early church.  He was one of Jesus’ actual brothers who didn’t believe in Him at first but later became one of His biggest fans.   His audience for this letter was Jewish Christians (which he refers to as “the twelve tribes scattered among the nations”).  These Jewish Christians, including James, were heavily persecuted and, in many cases, killed for being followers of Jesus.  His letter is intended to help them learn how to work together in community in order to fulfill the teaching of Jesus and, in part, how to survive.

According to this verse, when we humble ourselves, God will lift us up.  So what exactly is humility and how do we achieve it?

Dictionary.com defines humility as “modest opinion or estimate of one’s own importance” but I think that is a terrible definition.  Lowering our opinion of ourselves is not the answer because the verse says He wants us to be lifted up.  I think a better explanation, or at least the one that makes the most sense to me, is that humility comes from understanding 1) God’s importance, 2) the importance that God places on all of His children & His creation and 3) our place in His plan.

So one of the ways, maybe the primary way, that we can achieve humility is to understand these points and to develop one simple habit and that is the practice of gratitude.  For example, see if the following statements make you feel more humble:

• I can turn a handle and get clean water any time I want to
• Even if my parents are dysfunctional, they gave me life
• I’m grateful for all of my mistakes and the lessons they’ve taught me
• Even though it is exhausting and frustrating at times, I’m grateful for the perspective gained from raising children
• I’m grateful for the lows in life because they help me appreciate the highs

Practicing gratitude counteracts pride and arrogance which helps us keep a more humble perspective.  Maybe it is just that simple then and gratitude really is the way to humility.

Questions:

• Do you agree that being humble isn’t the same things as lowering our opinion of ourselves?
• Today’s verse says that God will lift us up when we humble ourselves.  What are some of the ways God can lift us up?
• Do you agree that practicing gratitude is the way, or at least a major way, to become more humble?
• What are some things we can do to more regularly practice gratitude?

[Thanks to our guest writer for this lesson, Brad Wood.]

Today’s lesson is related to the Mentoring presentation Regi Campbell delivered at the men’s breakfast last Saturday and today’s verse is a command from Jesus about mentoring:

“Jesus, gave his charge: ‘God authorized and commanded me to commission you: Go out and train everyone you meet, far and near, in this way of life.”

Below is a funny story to explain the difference between acting the part of a Christian and actually living as a Christian:

Max Planck, after he won the Nobel Prize, went around Germany giving the same standard lecture on the new quantum mechanics.

Over time, his chauffeur memorized the lecture and one day said, “Would you mind if I gave the lecture in Munich and you just sat in front wearing my chauffeur’s hat?” Planck said, “Why not?”

After the chauffeur gave this long lecture on quantum mechanics a professor stood up and asked a complicated question.  The chauffeur said, “Well I’m surprised that in an advanced city like Munich I get such an elementary question. In fact, it is so elementary that I’m going to ask my chauffeur to reply.”

This humorous story can be tied back to how we live our lives.  It is easy for us to look and act the part of a “Christian” but in order to actually understand the meaning behind what Christians say and do we must make a genuine commitment.

As Christians we are called to live what Regi Campbell refers to as “this way of life”.  Below are the five things that Regi says following “this way of life” means to him:

• • • God is at the center of everything
    • Don’t worry
    • Be grateful for money, but never forget it all comes from Him
    • The first place I’m to “train in this way of life” is at home
    • Live your life for others

Regi believes that discovering what ‘this way of life’ means is different for everyone.  He says “Decide what ‘this way of life’ means for you. Write it down. Think about it. Pray over it. Talk to your wife about it. Commit yourself to it.”

Taking the time to really dig in and do all of these things is the difference between being a “chauffeur” Christian and committing ourselves to discovering what “this way of life” means for us.  Only then can we understand God’s plan for us and how He wants to move in our lives.

Questions:
1. As Christians, we all agree that it’s important to know WHAT to say but do you believe it is also important to think deeply about the real meaning behind the words we say?

2. Just as Regi listed five things that “this way of life” means to him, what are some things it means to you in your own life?

3. What are some things you can do to better understand and develop your personal “this way of life”?

4. What are some of the benefits that will come from committing the time to better understand “this way of life” for yourself?

Mother’s day seems like such a simple concept on the surface but for some reason it seems to trip us guys up more than it should.  Today we’re going to share some of our best and worst experiences & ideas to help us not just survive Mother’s day but excel!  Our verse for the day is from Proverbs 31:28 which says:

Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her

Getting Mother’s day right is more than just about not getting in trouble with our wife and mother.  It’s about loving them in the way they want & need to be loved so that they are more at peace.  It is about being a thoughtful leader in our house and understanding what is needed most for our family to thrive.  It is about genuinely honoring those who brought us and our children into this world and provided nurturing, loving care.  At the heart of the day, it is all about love.

Women think about Mother’s Day very differently than men think about Father’s Day.  We are very happy if we are just left alone for most of the day and maybe allowed to play a guilt-free round of golf.  For women, it’s more than that.  Having never been a woman or a mother, I can only speak with a certain level of confidence on this topic but it seems like there are a few common desires shared by mothers on their special day:

• They want to spend time with their children but not as the care-giver; they want their children to dote on them and someone else to perform the care & feeding for one day
• They want someone to cook a nice meal
• Flowers and jewelry are always winners
• Until the children are beyond a certain age, wives expect their husbands to coordinate Mother’s day activities as well as the production of some hand-made gifts
• No cooking, washing, or cleaning for a day

Simple, right?  Sort of, but you can still mess it up.  It isn’t enough to just go out to eat…..you need to go to her favorite restaurant.  It isn’t enough for her not to have to clean or do laundry if it is just piling up for her to do the next day.  It doesn’t take a huge amount of planning but it does take some.  The good news is that the return-on-investment is very high!  Here are some questions to help us get Mother’s day right this year:

• Do you agree that we think of Father’s Day differently than women think of Mother’s day? If so, in what ways?
• If we get Mother’s day right, what are the direct and indirect positive effects on our wife & family?
• What are some good Mother’s day ideas you’ve had in the past or are planning to use this year?
• This is the flip-side of the last question – what are some things we should really try to avoid on Mother’s day?

Today’s verse is from Psalm 46:10 which says, “Be still and know that I am God.”

I had breakfast recently with a private investor who owns minority shares in a handful of small companies.  He said that over the past couple of years, it has become much more difficult to find a good opportunity.  He was sacrificing his health and family relationships in order to dedicate more and more time to finding his next investment.  But as his frustration grew and his health & relationships became more & more strained, he turned to God in prayer.  The answer he got was to relax, be patient, and acknowledge that God is in control.  For the past year, he has followed this path and everything is better in his life – and, as an added bonus, he’s realized that when there is an eventual market correction, he’ll be well-positioned to step in and assist companies in need.

Many of us are in a similar situation.  It is so easy to keep striving and grasping for the next rung on the ladder when, in the words of Stephen Covey, our ladder may not even be leaning against the right wall.  Maybe we should stop climbing from time to time to check in with God and see if our ladder is well positioned.

But that is not what our culture celebrates or encourages.  We celebrate leadership and achievement and material gains.  There is nothing inherently wrong with any of these things but, if they are our sole focus, we may indeed get to the top of the ladder and be disappointed.

Here are a few questions for discussion:

• What does “being still” mean to you?
• Do you routinely take time to be still? If so, what are the positive impacts?  If not, what are some of the potentially negative impacts?
• Do you agree with the ladder analogy? In other words, is there value in stopping our climb sometimes to check in with God?
• Why is it so hard for us to be still?
• What is one thing you would like to do differently as a result of today’s lesson?

Dr. Bill’s Easter sermon inspired an interesting thought – Jesus went through quite a bit to make sure we were forgiven & washed clean of sin and he would really appreciate it if we would honor that sacrifice by forgiving ourselves.

Think about it this way….. your child breaks a lamp and they feel terrible about it.  You reassure them that they are FAR more important than a lamp and that you love them SO much.   But what if they are still crying and sad at that point…..wouldn’t that bother you?  You’ve done everything you can but they remain sad which then makes you sad.

I think that’s probably how God feels about us since there isn’t anything else he can do to make us forgive ourselves for any of the following that may apply:

• That time you weren’t a gentleman on a date
• Cutting corners in business
• Drinking too much and/or abusing substances
• Financial or business failures
• Those websites you need to delete from your browsing history
• Prioritizing vanity over love
• Poor fitness & nutrition choices which have created health challenges

Those are all things to avoid, of course, but by not forgiving ourselves we’re not helping and we’re probably making it worse.  So why do we continue to place ourselves above God and refuse self-forgiveness?  And how do we stop doing that?

The answer lies in one of the most beautiful elements of God’s plan.  To Him, it’s just a broken lamp and He wants you to quit fretting about it because He wants to get back to spending time with you.  He wants what he’s always wanted which is a relationship with you and He will never quit pursuing that outcome.  All you have to do is stop and let Him catch you.

Questions:

• Have your kids had any recent slip-ups or failures for which they couldn’t seem to forgive themselves? If so, how did that make you feel?
• If God has fully forgiven us, why is it so tough to forgive ourselves?
• What are some of the negative consequences of failing to forgive ourselves?
• Are you personally struggling with anything for which you’re having trouble forgiving yourself? If so, is there anything from today’s lesson that changes how you will approach the situation?
• Why do you think it is so important to God that we forgive ourselves?

Today’s passage is from 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not rude. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

For today’s lesson, we will focus on verse 4 and, in particular, the idea that love is not rude.

First, a little background.  Paul, the author of Corinthians, started several churches throughout the region including the one in the Greek city of Corinth.  Scholars estimate the size of the church at around 40-150 people.  They came from broad socio-economic backgrounds and included both men and women.  We also know from Paul’s writing that there was great strife and division among the church in Corinth.

Paul’s goal in working with all of the early churches was to help them grow and thrive.  A church with significant infighting was at risk of failing and potentially  harming the overall growth of churches in other cities.  So we know that Paul’s letters were, in part, a guide for growing a church.  This included what to do as well as what to avoid – for example DO be patient and kind to one another but DON’T boast or be rude.

These principles apply today just as much as they did two thousand years ago.  Few of us would consider ourselves to be rude but most struggle, to some degree, with one or more of the following:

–      Waiting for someone to stop talking so we can speak instead of genuinely listening and responding to what others have to say

–      Being routinely late to appointments

–      Interrupting when others are talking

–      Checking email or social media during meetings or at lunch with others

–      Dominating a conversation when others would like to speak

God inspired Paul to write these words because He wants the best for us and for every one of His children.  He knows that interactions that are free from rudeness will help us to better focus on His will for us and to excel at loving others.

Questions:

1. Based on today’s lesson, why do you think Paul instructed the church in Corinth to avoid rudeness?
2. We all have been rude at some point. If you are comfortable sharing, what is a type of rudeness that you would like to work on minimizing in your life?
3. It almost feels at times that Rudeness is accepted in today’s society. Do you feel that it easier to be rude in today’s world with social media, text, email?
4. How can reducing rudeness enhance the effectiveness of ministry efforts, family relationships, business dealings, friendships, etc.?
5. Do you believe that we are held to the same high standard of living by Paul’s instruction to the early church?  If so, why?

Today’s topic is on the value of planning ahead instead of making decisions in the moment.  Today’s verse is from Proverbs 21:5 which says:

The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance, but everyone who is hasty comes only to poverty.

There is a big difference between planning 100% of your life down to the last detail vs. leaving 100% of things to chance and making all decisions in the moment.  For example, if you personally design every step of your path then you won’t leave room for God to walk with you on your path and help guide your way.  But on the other hand, if you don’t think ahead at all, you may find yourself facing dangers that you otherwise could have avoided.  Today’s lesson focuses on the latter.

Think about what causes us the most trouble in life.  In a 2017 article from Psychology Today titled “Most Problems are People Problems”, it lays out the idea that our problems primarily come from the actions of others and from our responses to those actions.  While this is not a Christian publication, we can tie-in these concepts to help us become better Christian men.

For example, we know that when other people act in their best interest and we then respond by acting in our best interest, conflict frequently arises.  As tensions rise, we move farther and farther away from focusing on our primary calling of loving God and loving people.  So does that mean that we should roll over and let others win in every confrontation?  Absolutely not.  But there is a third way.

The third way involves planning ahead with the specific intent of avoiding distractions and finding ways every day to love God and love people.  For example, if we know that our wife always responds emotionally when we bring up a certain topic, don’t bring it up or at least find a way to repackage the message.  Or if our assistant hates being interrupted, plan ahead and keep a stack of things to discuss when they are ready.  Or if you know you always overeat when you go to Mexican, don’t go to Mexican.

On the positive side, if you put your exercise gear out the night before, it may make it easier to roll out of bed and workout.  Or if you don’t buy ice cream at the grocery store, you won’t eat as much ice cream at night.

So the bottom line is that it is important to think about situations in which you struggle the most and how you may be able to plan ahead so you don’t get off track.

Questions:

1. Do you agree that planning ahead can help make us better Christians?  Why or why not?
2. What about those who say it is all in God’s hands and when we plan ahead we are trying to put ourselves in his place?
3. What are some examples of pitfalls we may encounter by not planning ahead?
4. Give an example of something in your life that might go more smoothly with some forethought or planning.
5. Is there anything this lesson has inspired you to do to plan ahead?