Author: Jimmy Trimble

Today’s verse is from Psalm 46:10 which says, “Be still and know that I am God.”

I had breakfast recently with a private investor who owns minority shares in a handful of small companies.  He said that over the past couple of years, it has become much more difficult to find a good opportunity.  He was sacrificing his health and family relationships in order to dedicate more and more time to finding his next investment.  But as his frustration grew and his health & relationships became more & more strained, he turned to God in prayer.  The answer he got was to relax, be patient, and acknowledge that God is in control.  For the past year, he has followed this path and everything is better in his life – and, as an added bonus, he’s realized that when there is an eventual market correction, he’ll be well-positioned to step in and assist companies in need.

Many of us are in a similar situation.  It is so easy to keep striving and grasping for the next rung on the ladder when, in the words of Stephen Covey, our ladder may not even be leaning against the right wall.  Maybe we should stop climbing from time to time to check in with God and see if our ladder is well positioned.

But that is not what our culture celebrates or encourages.  We celebrate leadership and achievement and material gains.  There is nothing inherently wrong with any of these things but, if they are our sole focus, we may indeed get to the top of the ladder and be disappointed.

Here are a few questions for discussion:

• What does “being still” mean to you?
• Do you routinely take time to be still? If so, what are the positive impacts?  If not, what are some of the potentially negative impacts?
• Do you agree with the ladder analogy? In other words, is there value in stopping our climb sometimes to check in with God?
• Why is it so hard for us to be still?
• What is one thing you would like to do differently as a result of today’s lesson?

Dr. Bill’s Easter sermon inspired an interesting thought – Jesus went through quite a bit to make sure we were forgiven & washed clean of sin and he would really appreciate it if we would honor that sacrifice by forgiving ourselves.

Think about it this way….. your child breaks a lamp and they feel terrible about it.  You reassure them that they are FAR more important than a lamp and that you love them SO much.   But what if they are still crying and sad at that point…..wouldn’t that bother you?  You’ve done everything you can but they remain sad which then makes you sad.

I think that’s probably how God feels about us since there isn’t anything else he can do to make us forgive ourselves for any of the following that may apply:

• That time you weren’t a gentleman on a date
• Cutting corners in business
• Drinking too much and/or abusing substances
• Financial or business failures
• Those websites you need to delete from your browsing history
• Prioritizing vanity over love
• Poor fitness & nutrition choices which have created health challenges

Those are all things to avoid, of course, but by not forgiving ourselves we’re not helping and we’re probably making it worse.  So why do we continue to place ourselves above God and refuse self-forgiveness?  And how do we stop doing that?

The answer lies in one of the most beautiful elements of God’s plan.  To Him, it’s just a broken lamp and He wants you to quit fretting about it because He wants to get back to spending time with you.  He wants what he’s always wanted which is a relationship with you and He will never quit pursuing that outcome.  All you have to do is stop and let Him catch you.

Questions:

• Have your kids had any recent slip-ups or failures for which they couldn’t seem to forgive themselves? If so, how did that make you feel?
• If God has fully forgiven us, why is it so tough to forgive ourselves?
• What are some of the negative consequences of failing to forgive ourselves?
• Are you personally struggling with anything for which you’re having trouble forgiving yourself? If so, is there anything from today’s lesson that changes how you will approach the situation?
• Why do you think it is so important to God that we forgive ourselves?

Today’s passage is from 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not rude. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

For today’s lesson, we will focus on verse 4 and, in particular, the idea that love is not rude.

First, a little background.  Paul, the author of Corinthians, started several churches throughout the region including the one in the Greek city of Corinth.  Scholars estimate the size of the church at around 40-150 people.  They came from broad socio-economic backgrounds and included both men and women.  We also know from Paul’s writing that there was great strife and division among the church in Corinth.

Paul’s goal in working with all of the early churches was to help them grow and thrive.  A church with significant infighting was at risk of failing and potentially  harming the overall growth of churches in other cities.  So we know that Paul’s letters were, in part, a guide for growing a church.  This included what to do as well as what to avoid – for example DO be patient and kind to one another but DON’T boast or be rude.

These principles apply today just as much as they did two thousand years ago.  Few of us would consider ourselves to be rude but most struggle, to some degree, with one or more of the following:

–      Waiting for someone to stop talking so we can speak instead of genuinely listening and responding to what others have to say

–      Being routinely late to appointments

–      Interrupting when others are talking

–      Checking email or social media during meetings or at lunch with others

–      Dominating a conversation when others would like to speak

God inspired Paul to write these words because He wants the best for us and for every one of His children.  He knows that interactions that are free from rudeness will help us to better focus on His will for us and to excel at loving others.

Questions:

1. Based on today’s lesson, why do you think Paul instructed the church in Corinth to avoid rudeness?
2. We all have been rude at some point. If you are comfortable sharing, what is a type of rudeness that you would like to work on minimizing in your life?
3. It almost feels at times that Rudeness is accepted in today’s society. Do you feel that it easier to be rude in today’s world with social media, text, email?
4. How can reducing rudeness enhance the effectiveness of ministry efforts, family relationships, business dealings, friendships, etc.?
5. Do you believe that we are held to the same high standard of living by Paul’s instruction to the early church?  If so, why?

Today’s topic is on the value of planning ahead instead of making decisions in the moment.  Today’s verse is from Proverbs 21:5 which says:

The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance, but everyone who is hasty comes only to poverty.

There is a big difference between planning 100% of your life down to the last detail vs. leaving 100% of things to chance and making all decisions in the moment.  For example, if you personally design every step of your path then you won’t leave room for God to walk with you on your path and help guide your way.  But on the other hand, if you don’t think ahead at all, you may find yourself facing dangers that you otherwise could have avoided.  Today’s lesson focuses on the latter.

Think about what causes us the most trouble in life.  In a 2017 article from Psychology Today titled “Most Problems are People Problems”, it lays out the idea that our problems primarily come from the actions of others and from our responses to those actions.  While this is not a Christian publication, we can tie-in these concepts to help us become better Christian men.

For example, we know that when other people act in their best interest and we then respond by acting in our best interest, conflict frequently arises.  As tensions rise, we move farther and farther away from focusing on our primary calling of loving God and loving people.  So does that mean that we should roll over and let others win in every confrontation?  Absolutely not.  But there is a third way.

The third way involves planning ahead with the specific intent of avoiding distractions and finding ways every day to love God and love people.  For example, if we know that our wife always responds emotionally when we bring up a certain topic, don’t bring it up or at least find a way to repackage the message.  Or if our assistant hates being interrupted, plan ahead and keep a stack of things to discuss when they are ready.  Or if you know you always overeat when you go to Mexican, don’t go to Mexican.

On the positive side, if you put your exercise gear out the night before, it may make it easier to roll out of bed and workout.  Or if you don’t buy ice cream at the grocery store, you won’t eat as much ice cream at night.

So the bottom line is that it is important to think about situations in which you struggle the most and how you may be able to plan ahead so you don’t get off track.

Questions:

1. Do you agree that planning ahead can help make us better Christians?  Why or why not?
2. What about those who say it is all in God’s hands and when we plan ahead we are trying to put ourselves in his place?
3. What are some examples of pitfalls we may encounter by not planning ahead?
4. Give an example of something in your life that might go more smoothly with some forethought or planning.
5. Is there anything this lesson has inspired you to do to plan ahead?

Today we will continue with our “giving it up” series by discussing the idea of giving up negative influences and exposures.

Today’s verse is from Matthew 15:11 which says “it’s not what goes into your mouth that defiles you; you are defiled by the words that come out of your mouth.”

Jesus did a judo move on his critics here. They were criticizing him because His disciples didn’t wash their hands before eating which was against the Jewish law.  Jesus responded by saying that it is not what goes into the mouth that defiles you; what defiles you is what comes out of your mouth (things we say).  Jesus further explained that what comes out of our mouth starts in our heart.

So how does something get into our heart in the first place?  It starts with inputs and exposures, primarily received through our eyes and ears.  We have significant control over both but often choose to receive negative or unclean inputs because they entice us.

Maybe it is our favorite political site or other things we choose to look at on the internet that aren’t healthy.  Or having cable news on all the time.   Or allowing ourselves to associate  with gossipy, negative people.  Will any one of these negative inputs kill us or cause irreparable harm?  Of course not but they all add up.  And for every negative or unhealthy input we choose, we’ve passed up an opportunity to seek a positive input.

If we are running a race, every step counts; every step should be in the direction of the finish line.  Similarly, in life, every input counts and each one either takes us closer to becoming the man God created us to be or farther away.

Questions:

• Have you ever said something that you regretted and thought “that’s not like me; that’s not who I am”? If so, where did those words come from?
• What are some examples of negative or unclean inputs or exposures many of us encounter on a regular basis?
• How do the inputs discussed in question #1 affect us and those around us?
• What are some proactive strategies to help us avoid negative inputs
• What are some examples of positive inputs & exposures that will help us move closer to becoming the man God created us to be?

This is the first week in a series of “give it up” lessons.  The theme is about giving up things that are moving us away from God so we can move closer to Him.  This week we start with the idea of what can give up to become a better Christian man.

When we think about great Christians, we often associate them with things that they’ve done or accomplished.  Maybe they started ministry, preached to millions of people, or feed the homeless every week.  It is what they did or what they added that we give them credit for.  So, of course, in our efforts to become great Christians, we may be tempted to do something or accomplish something to prove our Christian worth.

But what if that line of thinking is flawed?  Is it possible that being a good Christian may be more about what we give up or don’t do than what we do or accomplish?  That is not to say that Christian accomplishments aren’t worthy goals but simply that, for most of us, it is premature to make them our focus.

If you buy new furniture for your house, you have to remove the old furniture before you move the new items in.  If you don’t, your house will be too crowded.  Or if you upgrade your entire wardrobe you should probably get rid of some things so your closet doesn’t become a disaster.

The Christian example of this message is that God has already given us new stuff and it just waiting at the door to be moved in but first we have to move the old stuff out.

 

Take patience for example.  Maybe if I wasn’t so focused on achievement or materialism or vanity, I might be a little more patient.  Another example is time that we give to friends, family, and charities.  If we eliminate some of our wasted time, we would have more time for others.  If we eliminate the bad stuff, God’s good stuff will have room to move in.

Here are some questions to further explore this idea:

• Based on today’s lesson, what are some examples of things that are good to eliminate from our lives?
• Do you agree with the idea that you can’t add the new until you eliminate the old?
• Do you have any examples from your own life that reinforce today’s message?
• What is an example of “God’s good stuff” that you would like to move in to your life once you move out some of the old stuff?
• Can you think of a verse from the bible that supports this idea?

[Read Luke 18:1-8 for context]

Today’s verse is from Luke 18:7 and says:

And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off?

This verse is part of a parable that Jesus shared with his disciples.  A parable is a simple story used to make a point about an important topic and Jesus used many of these short stories to help His audience better understand what was on His heart.

In this parable, He is trying to drive home the point that we need to pray a lot and that it is good to pray about the same things over and over.  Verse 18:1 says the point of the parable was to “show them that they should always pray and not give up”.

The subject of the parable is a widow who pleads to a Judge for justice against her adversary again and again.  The judge initially refuses but eventually gives in so that she will quit bothering him.  Jesus was making the point that we need to plead to God frequently through prayer for the things we want.

I believe God has at least two goals in asking us to pray for the same thing over and over:

First, God wants us to come to Him in prayer frequently and He understands that it is easier for us to pray the same thing.

Secondly, we know that God wants all of the glory and one of the ways He gets the glory is for us to pray about something over & over and then have that prayer answered.  On the other hand, if we get a positive outcome without praying for it, we would not likely be as quick to give Him the credit.

That’s another “simple” answer from the Bible….pick some things to pray about and repeat your prayers day after day.  But most of us aren’t that disciplined yet so let’s go through some questions to help us move in the right direction.

Questions:

• Do you have anything that you pray about day after day? Please share if you are comfortable doing so.
• Share an example of an answered prayer in your life or in the life of someone close to you.
• Do you agree with the two reasons above about why God asks us to pray frequently about one topic – that is, He wants us to hear from us frequently and He wants all of the glory.
• Why is it difficult for us to 1) pray consistently in general and 2) pray for one thing over & over?
• What are some strategies we can incorporate to improve our track record with prayer?

Today’s verse is from Phillipians 4:8 and says:

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things and the God of peace will be with you.

Many of you are familiar with life coach Tommy Newberry who wrote a book called the 4:8 Principle which is based on this verse.  His premise is very simple – we can only consciously hold one thought in our head at a time so we should intentionally choose to focus on the positive things in life in order to find God’s peace.

So if it is that simple, why do we find ourselves so often focused on the negative things in life like self-doubt, criticisms of others, grudges, gossip, and conflict.  Paul knew how weak we are and understood our tendency to focus on the negative which is why he spelled it out in such clear language.  God inspired Paul to write words because He truly does want us to have the Peace that only He can provide.

Psychological experiments have proven that it is impossible to suppress thoughts.  In fact, trying to suppress them actually causes those thoughts to rebound more prominently into our minds.  But we can choose to think about a particular thought which then crowds out all other thoughts as long as that remains our focus.  If we’re thinking about something that is excellent or praiseworthy, it is not possible to simultaneously hold a negative thought in our mind and, in the process, God’s peace will be with us.

It has been said that running a marathon is simple but not easy.  This means that there is nothing complicated about running 26.2 miles but it takes a lot of hard work and effort.  Maybe this is a good way of thinking about focusing on the 4:8 Principle – it is both simple and hard at the same time.  Below are some questions to help us move in the direction of focusing more on things in life that are excellent and praiseworthy.

1)      Do you agree with the marathon analogy?  That is, do you think this concept is simple even if it is hard to employ consistently?

2)      What are some negative thoughts that you or others you know struggle to get out of their minds?

3)      How does focusing on the negative hurt us or keep us from being our best?

4)      What are some things that are excellent or praiseworthy that you can choose to intentionally focus on more frequently?

5)      If you were teaching this concept to someone else, what are some strategies you would recommend to increase their chance of succeeding?

Have you finished your Christmas shopping yet?  Whether yes or no, I have one can’t-miss gift giving idea for you.  It has to do with a gift we can give God.  But why would God need a gift from us?  He is God after all and he has access to whatever he wants.  Stay tuned to find out.

Today’s verse is from Luke 1:48-49:

From now on all generations will call me blessed, for the Mighty One has done great things for me—holy is his name.

In this passage, Mary rejoiced that she, a humble woman of little means, would be chosen to give birth to Jesus.  God literally can do anything.  And He wants to do things for us.  But before He does so, He wants something from us.

Before we reveal what that is, one more thought…..think about the greatest thing burdening you right now.  Maybe it is family turmoil or career stress.  Maybe it is your health or a conflict with a friend.  Take just a little time and think of one thing that is troubling you deeply.

Now for the gift: take 5 minutes and give that burden to God.  That’s it.  Just give it to God.  But don’t just say something like “God, this thing is really bothering me.  Please help me.”.  That’s just checking a box, not really and truly giving it to God completely.

Giving it up sounds something like this: “God, I’m really struggling with [insert your issue] and I want to give it to you.  I mean it.  I’m really giving it to you.  Not just so you will relieve me of the burden but because I want you to know I trust you.  I want you to know that you are MY King and I’ve given my life to you.  I will let go of the wheel because I know you are in control.  I may not immediately agree with or understand where it goes from here if I give up control because I don’t fully know your plan for me.  But I do know that one day I’ll look back with gratitude for the paths where you have lead me.  It is not going to be easy for me but You already know that.  Wherever you lead, I will follow.  I know that your plan for my life is perfect even though I get distracted frequently and follow different paths.  Please release me completely from the burden of [insert your issue] just as I release it completely into your loving hands.”

That’s the kind of prayer you say when you are REALLY serious about giving it up to God.  And to God, that is the perfect gift you can give Him this Christmas.

Questions:

1. Do you agree that God cherishes the gift of turning our burdens over to him?  Why or why not?
2. How good are you about truly giving things up to God?  Is God your pilot, your co-pilot, or sitting somewhere in the back?
3. If you are comfortable sharing with the group, what is something you need to turn over to God?
4. When you turn something over to God does that mean you check-out completely and never think about it again?

Last week we talked about Advent and the importance of focusing our minds on the true meaning of the Christmas season.  This week, we’ll discuss the importance of being present and how the word “present” can have a double meaning this time of year.

Today’s verse is from 1 Chronicles 16:11

Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually!

While some of us have year-end deadlines, for many of us, our calendars start to open up a little this time of year – at least for a few days around Christmas and New Year’s Day.  And when we experience some free time on our calendar around Christmas, we have two options – 1) fill it up with the busy-ness of the season or 2) slow down and live in the moment.

When we say “live in the moment” what does that mean?  Do we need to start a meditation practice?  Or, like Henry David Thoreau, head out to spend some time in the woods by ourselves?  Maybe…..but for those of us with loved ones, a better answer might be to just BE with them.  Maybe we should just hang out with our loved ones and friends this time of year with absolutely nothing to accomplish other than to offer them the gift of our presence.  This is an intentional act but one with no expectations or goals.

So when you think about gift giving this time of year, consider the idea that quality-time (and quantity-time) spent with your loved ones may be the greatest gift you can offer.  Our presence may be best Christmas present of all.

Questions:

1. Is it difficult for you to live in the moment and simply be present?
2. What challenges challenge our ability to let our minds settle?
3. Do you have any good stories about taking the time to be present and how that worked out?
4. What are the potential negative consequences of living life somewhere other than the present?
5. What advice would you give someone who is struggle to “live in the moment”?