Why would we discuss happiness in a Christian Men’s group? After all, the Bible emphasizes Joy, and not happiness, as a priority. This linked article describes the difference between Joy and Happiness in more depth if you are interested. This lesson aims to explore a more nuanced understanding of ‘happiness’ and how it intertwines with our faith and spiritual journey.
In Karl Pillemer’s book “30 Lessons for Living”, the author shares his research about why older Americans are generally happier than younger ones. He interviewed hundreds of people in their 70s and 80s and their number one lesson was that life is short. The older the respondent, Pillemer said, the more likely they were to say that life passes by in what seems like an instant.
Here is a list of the most common responses Pillemer found:
- Say things now to people you care about whether it’s expressing gratitude, asking forgiveness, or getting information
- Spend the maximum amount of time with your children
- Savor daily pleasures instead of waiting for big ticket items to make you happy
- Work in a job you love
The list of things they said weren’t important was equally revealing:
- None said that to be happy you should work as hard as you can to get money
- None said it was important to be as wealthy as the people around you
- None said you should choose your career based on its earning potential
- None said they regretted not getting even with someone who slighted them
- And the biggest regret people had was worrying about things that never happened
Pillemer’s most important takeaways were that happiness is a choice that requires a conscious shift in outlook; you can decide what to pursue in life. You can decide what’s a priority for you.
But to understand why we’re discussing happiness in a Christian setting, go back and look at the lists above more closely. If we believe Jesus’ words that the most important things are 1) loving God and 2) loving people (Matthew 22:37-40), you can start to see the true wisdom and, most importantly, the connection to God that’s reflected in the words of these older Americans.
The top responses in the first list are focused primarily on love, people, presence, and gratitude. The “not-important” list includes things that could arguably be categorized as modern-day idols like working excessive hours, money/wealth/income, limitless career aspirations, revenge/fairness, and worry.
So then, today’s lesson is not really about choosing happiness, it’s about choosing God. When we choose modern-day idols, we are separated from God, but when we choose love, people, and gratitude, we are drawn closer to Him. I personally don’t believe it’s a coincidence that the first list above just happens to reflect actions that draw us closer to God. I believe that no matter how many idols we worship in our life, in our heart we know who our Father is and, the older and wiser we get, the more we naturally want to say no to the idols and yes to God!
Questions
- Do you believe that Karl Pillemer’s conclusions above on happiness seem logical/reasonable? If so, were you surprised at the responses?
- Do you agree that the responses in the second list primarily fall into what could be called “modern day idols”? Why or why not?
- How does the realization that life is short influence your daily decisions and priorities? Discuss how this perspective aligns with Christian values.
- Do you agree that the first list above draws us closer to God and the second list may distract us from God?
- How does the Christian faith help in coping with regrets and worries, especially about things that never happen? Discuss the role of faith in overcoming these negative thoughts.
Men's Small Group Blog 