The concept of patience seems so simple on the surface. All we have to do is maintain our composure at all times and not lose our temper. Simple, right? Of course not or it wouldn’t be such a problem for so many of us. That brings us to our verse for the day from Proverbs 15:18 which says:
A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention.
For me, the thought of a hot-tempered person brings two things to mind – pain and humility. Pain in the short term and humility in the long term. Eventually, even the most hot-tempered person gets tired of the pain & drama and learns that being slow to anger will result in a much happier life.
So today we are going to talk about reducing or even avoiding future damage caused by impatience as well as beginning to heal past wounds.
Losing our temper is typically triggered by something that is 1) unexpected and 2) stressful. Notice that I used the word “unexpected” not “unpredictable” because things that cause us to lose our temper are typically very predictable. So the first step in managing our temper is to use the following three step process:
- Understand the things that trigger a hot-tempered response
- Acknowledge that these triggering events are going to happen
- Have a proactive action plan to help choose our response when the triggering event occurs
Of course, this won’t make us perfectly patient but it may help.
The second condition that contributes to impatience is being completely stressed out. So today’s second action item is to try to de-stress. Of course, if you are already stressed out, the thought of adding another item to the list like meditation or exercise might increase stress even more.
So, as we’ve talked about before, the answer might be to identify things you can eliminate from your life in order to start doing new things. We’ve used the example in the past that if you want to move new furniture into a room, you have to move the old furniture out first.
The final action item for today is to pray about it. And when you pray, just talk to God like He’s right there with you having a conversation. Tell him that you hate it when you lose your temper and that you want to get better. Ask him to help you clear even a small amount of time on your calendar so you can start on your de-stress plan, which is also a more God-focused plan.
Blessings this week as you work toward becoming more patient. Here are a few questions for discussion:
- If we know that being hot-tempered stirs up strife, why do we still struggle so much with impatience at times?
- Do you agree that the three step plan above (understanding, acknowledging, and proactively planning) is an effective strategy? Or is that too simple?
- Do you believe that praying to God will help us be more patient?
- It says above that a de-stress plan is also a more God-focused plan. Do you agree that those two things are related and if so why?
- What is one action item that might help you be more patient this week?
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